prepare yourself for the dankest memes

human: 

THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST

the universe:

How will the people in the ship not get gibbed?

Because the warp drive doesn’t actually accelerate the ship, it just makes the space in front of it smaller and the space behind it larger. Or something.

it works like this

A WRINKLE IN TIME IS COMING TRUE 

We gonna be surfing gravity waves!!

COWABUNGA SPACE DUDES!

fun studying tip: if you’re a procrastinator, play tom jones’s “what’s new pussycat” on repeat while writing your papers and do not turn it off until you are finished, it will motivate you to finish that essay as quickly as possible

make sure to throw one “it’s not unusual” in the middle while u take ur quick snack break

Here you have the Infinite Jukebox that will play an infinite version of What’s new pussycat, randomly jumping through the verses and never getting to the end. 

all of me

I get the hate for the US and I 100% agree with it, but honestly, the complete lack of compassion non-Americans have for us is staggering.

We’re mocked for not having healthcare, for having mass shootings, for being stuck in poverty, for not having liveable wages, for literally every tragedy that hits us.

And the people mocking us don’t understand or just don’t care that these aren’t our choices. The majority of Americans are pro-gun control. The majority of Americans are pro-universal healthcare. The majority of Americans want a higher minimum wage.

But what we want doesn’t matter because our votes don’t matter. Our voting machines are rigged, we can’t take time off of work or school to vote, politicians use gerrymandering to twist things in their favor, minorities (particularly Black people) suddenly find themselves unregistered right before elections, certain groups (mainly Black men) are kept from voting by charging them with felonies, etc. Even our votes for president don’t matter because the popular vote is only symbolic; the real decision is made by the Electoral College, an organization that is purposely shrouded to prevent people from understanding what it is. We don’t even get to choose our Electoral College representatives and we sure as hell can’t control who they vote for, even if they go against the popular vote.

We have no real control over politics in this country and it is genuinely fucking terrifying.

Nein

My friend’s kid asked if he could use ‘Mommy’s mug’ this morning

reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.

Undercover American officer pinning a black man while pointing his gun in a crowd of minorities, threatening to shoot them during a protest against police killing innocent people.

not forgetting that said black man is protecting a CHILD from the officer by shielding him with his body

Bleeeeugh om niom niomniom blereegh

unmute