Sirius Black is tall

Sirius has to do a body shot off of Remus at James's birthday party, and they were out of limes.

NSFW: nothing wild, but it's hot in here

__________________________________________

Remus thought he was dying. 

Or dead—or he now knew what the afterlife was like, and if that was the case, then maybe his life hadn't been so bad. 

Maybe he had actually been a better person than he had thought because whatever was happening—if he had indeed passed away and was somewhere far away in the sky—well, there were a lot worse positions to be in. 

Or maybe he was in hell—some weird and twisted version specific to himself because he was currently leaning back on the kitchen table in his flat, legs dangling off the other end, elbows digging into the wood grain as he tried to hold himself up, and Sirius was throwing a leg over his hips. 

Charcoal

“Need help with those buttons?” Sirius asked, after watching Remus trying to button his cuff with one hand.

“I need them buttoned, not unbuttoned, Pads.” Remus said, with a sly smile.

“I’ll behave myself.” Sirius said, buttoning the offending cuff. “For now.”

“Thank you.” Remus said, shrugging into the charcoal grey outer robe and letting it swirl around his shoulders. 

Sirius did the same. “Ready?” Remus nodded his assent, and they left what was formerly Percy’s bedroom and made their way up to Ron’s. Sirius knocked on the door. Ron opened the door, letting them in.

“All right, Harry?” Sirius said. Harry turned toward them, dressed in his black dress robes, looking like an exact replica of James on his wedding day. Sirius froze for a second, and Remus put his hand on Sirius’s arm. Sirius came back to himself and cleared his throat.

“Yeah. I think so.” Harry looked up at Sirius nervously. 

Ron said, “I’m going to get the flowers, all right?” and left the three of them alone. 

“You look great, Harry.” Remus said, hugging him around the shoulders gently so as not to wrinkle his robes.

“Thank you…so do you both.” Harry said, thickly. 

“It’ll be fine, Harry.” Sirius said, quietly. “Just picture everyone in their underwear.” Harry huffed a laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing. 

Ron poked his head back in. “Mum said it’s almost time.”

Harry nodded. Sirius pulled him close for a moment, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “Let’s get you married.”

@wolfstarmicrofic

“Moony. Moooony. Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony...”

James eyes his friends curiously. Sirius is acting...well, like Sirius, only more irritating than usual.

“Moooooony.”

“No,” states Remus, and Sirius deflates.

“Aww, c’mon, Remus,” he barters, stepping a little closer. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

“No, Padfoot.” Sirius pouts.

“What’s he on about?” questions Peter, his head tilting to the side a bit. Remus sighs.

“You probably don’t want to know,” advises Remus.

James chews it over, watching Sirius still pouting, arms crossed petulantly over his chest as they walk down the corridor.

“No, I think I do. I think I have to know,” voices James, and Remus rolls his eyes, glaring a little at Sirius.

“He wants me to take him to the Prefects’ bath.”

“Oh,” says James and Peter at the same time before James continues. “Yeah, really didn’t need to know that. You’re right.”

Sirius suddenly smirks and leans in close, positioning his mouth beside Remus’ ear. He whispers something the other two can’t hear, but they watch as Remus’ eyebrows creep higher on his forehead.

“We’re off to the bath, lads,” announces Remus abruptly, grabbing a smugly grinning Sirius’ wrist in his grip and tugging him away.

“What d’you think Pads said to him?”

Peter shrugs. “I’m guessing we don’t want to know that either, mate,” he says wisely.

@wolfstarmicrofic

Prompt: bath

(Curious what Sirius said? Hunger)

@wolfstarmicrofic

Prompt: steal

"Did you steal it?"

"What?"

"Don't give me that innocent act. I know you. Where'd you steal it from?"

"Why in Godric's name would I steal it when I can easily buy a hundred of them and not make a dent in my vault?"

"I dunno, do I? Just seems like you."

"You're a prat and a twat."

"Oi! That's rude and uncalled for. Wait until I tell Remus. Then he'll never say – "

"Shut up, you nonce! He could be home any second."

Remus is in fact home, has just returned, walking into their flat and finding the voices of James and Sirius coming from behind their closed kitchen door. He stands outside it, listening to Sirius' hissing and James' muffled complaints, imagining Sirius' hand clamped firmly over their friend's mouth, his eyes bulging irately behind his glasses.

"Urgh. Your hand tastes disgusting. Do I even want to know where you've had it? And why are you always sticky? It makes no sense. What do you do all day?"

"Ask your mum," says Sirius offhandedly, sounding distracted.

"That was also uncalled for."

There's a pause and then, "Yeah, all right. Wasn't thinking. Sorry, mate."

"Forgiven. I'll just never look at you and her together the same way ever again, but it's fine. Why'd you hide it in the coffee? Wouldn't a drawer or something have been better?"

Sirius grunts. "You know Moony. He won't go near the stuff. Says it smells too strong until it's brewed, and even then, I typically have to wait for him to leave before I can make it."

"Clever," remarks James, sounding impressed.

Remus snorts to himself silently, rolling his eyes. He slowly pushes the door open just as James say, "Well, here. Let me see the bloody thing since you went to all the trouble of digging it – Remus!"

Sirius' eyes widen comically, James' mouth dropping open as Sirius' arms dive behind his back.

"What're you two doing in here?" asks Remus easily, face remaining neutral.

"I didn't steal it!" is the first thing Sirius shouts, and then he's blinking, a frown pulling into place. "Oh, er. Nothing. We're not doing anything. Prongs was inspecting my coffee. Thinks he might take it up instead of that piss he drinks."

"Oi!" cries James, rounding on Sirius with a glower. "It's not piss!" Sirius waves him off, and James grumbles under his breath, turning back to Remus. "'Lo, Moony. Good day?"

Remus hums, staring between them. "Fine, yeah. Think I'll go have a bathe," he says, beginning to retreat out the door. Sirius smiles almost manically at him as he goes.

When the door closes, he hears Sirius release a large breath before he whispers in very loud Sirius fashion, "Think he suspects?"

"Nah," denies James effortlessly. "You were just as smooth as you always are. Like cats running into metal bins."

"Wanker."

"Trigger-tongued pillock."

Remus chuckles to himself as he walks away. He'd in fact been in the coffee only two days before, planning to swallow his dislike of the smell and make it a surprise for Sirius. Remus can't fight back the spreading smile as he thinks about the ring he'd found stashed inside.

James, trying to flirt: so, how's the most beautiful person in hogwarts?

Reg: aww I'm-

Sirius: I'm great, wonderful. Thanks for asking Prongs, my dude, let's just back up a few steps. Yeah perfect, a nice six feet between you two, very good.

Help

“Help! Someone, help? Please?”

“Padfoot? Is that you?”

Remus walked into the Gryffindor dormitory in the middle of a Wednesday, expecting it to be empty during classes. His Care of Magical Creatures lesson had been unexpectedly cancelled (something about a love triangle between a centaur and a couple of Veela that Professor Kettleburn had to mediate).

Finding the Gryffindor seventh year boy’s dormitory quiet when you lived with the other three Marauders was such a rare occurrence, Remus knew he couldn’t waste it, and he was looking forward to an unexpected and uninterrupted hour of N.E.W.T study time.

That’s not actually what he found, though.

“Oh my god, Sirius, what the hell happened to you?” Remus asked, struggling to keep the laughter out of his voice.

Sirius was on the floor next to his bed, in what looked like Remus’s favorite moss green jumper. But he wasn’t wearing it. Instead, the jumper seemed to have wrestled him to the ground and wrapped itself around him, pinning his arms to his sides like a Devil’s Snare. The harder he struggled against it, the tighter the jumper seemed to hold on. Sirius’s wand was several feet away on the floor near his feet, well out of reach.

“I’m stuck!” he said. “And I can’t reach my wand!”

Remus snorted with laughter, strode over to his own wardrobe, and started looking through the drawers.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sirius demanded.

“Considering one of my jumpers has done the impossible and made you sit still, I’m wondering if a pair of my socks might be able to finally shut you up, too.”  

“Do you think you could just fucking help me?” Sirius growled desperately. “And take the piss out of me later?”

“I don’t know, this is too good.”

“I am going to hex you to Durmstrang and back if you don’t help me right now, Moony!”

“Fine,” Remus said. He flicked his wand lazily and the jumper relented, flopping limply against Sirius’s chest. Remus waved his wand again and the jumper folded itself in midair and flew back into Remus’s wardrobe as Sirius stood up, rubbing his arms and looking thunderous.

“Do I even want to ask?”

“No,” Sirius said.

“Come on, tell me,” Remus goaded.

Sirius stared at a spot on the ceiling over Remus’s shoulder, his pale skin flushing a blotchy maroon, and muttered something Remus couldn’t make out.

“What did you say?”

“I Charmed one of your jumpers to hug me, OK?! Are you happy?!”

“I…don’t know,” Remus said truthfully, a little confused. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I wanted to know what it would feel like.”

“I’ve hugged you before, Pads. You know what it feels like.”

“No…” Sirius said, his face, somehow, even redder. He looked at Remus, finally. “I Charmed it to hug me the way you would if…if we were dating.”

“Oh! Oh shit.”

Remus would have to save for another time how impressed he was that Sirius managed to do an incredibly complicated bit of emotion-tied magic. Because right now, he was too busy feeling embarrassed. What a way for the boy he’d been hopelessly in love with for three years to find out his secret.

“So that means…”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, grinning at him. “Turns out your jumper is pretty into me.”  

Written for the @wolfstarmicrofic prompt help.

R & R

‘Shhh, shhh, he’s coming!’

‘Oh my- No! Don’t look.’

‘He looks so good in that green, doesn’t he?’

‘Oh my God, Jenny! Can you shut up? He’ll hear you!’

‘Can you please be quiet! Some of us are trying to work here!’

Remus snorted. ‘Pads. I haven’t seen you open one book since we got here. Two hours ago.’

‘I have been ruminating on a number of issues.’ Sirius said, with his usual air of superiority. He threw another dirty glare at the group of girls sitting at the next table. ‘Who are they fawning over anyway?’

‘Wait for it…’ James muttered under his breath and Remus grinned.

Sirius looked between the two of them. ‘What? Wait for- oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!’

‘Hello brother.’

‘Regulus? Really?!’

‘Ye-P.’ Remus nodded at Sirius and then looked up at Regulus. ‘Hey Reg.’

‘Hello Remus. Are you ready?’

‘Nearly. Do you want to find a table by the window and I’ll just finish up here?’

‘Regulus?!’ Sirius spluttered, looking outraged.

‘I don’t know why you’re so surprised, Padfoot.’ James looked Regulus up and down. ‘Looking fiiiine today, Baby Black.’

Regulus just looked at him with contempt.  

‘Hot.’

‘Fuck off, Potter.’

James gave him a salute and then a cheeky wink. Regulus just rolled his eyes and walked off without a backwards glance.

‘Gah!’ Sirius choked out. ‘Prongs!’

‘What?’ James looked unrepentant. ‘Reg is fit. I definitely wouldn’t say no to him getting a hold of my broom if you know what I mean…’

‘LALALALALALA!’

‘…wanting him to mount it…’

‘LALALALALALA!’

‘…grip it tight.’

‘Oh absolutely. You don’t want him sliding off the end.’

‘Moony! Oh my God, what is happening?!’

‘He’s so dark and mysterious!’

Sirius whipped around to locate the culprit who had just spoken.

‘Oi!’ he whispered yelled at the group of girls who were giggling as they watched Regulus walk away. ‘Really?’

‘Oh yeh.’ One girl answered cheerfully, ‘All the sixth years think he’s gorgeous.’

‘But- but,’ Sirius seemed almost lost for words. ‘But we’re nearly identical!’

The girl shrugged and another piped up. ‘Yeh, but he’s just got this whole silent and brooding thing going on.’

‘A certain je ne sais quoi.’ Her friend added and they all nodded in agreement.  

‘Humph.’ Sirius turned back to James and Remus, pouting. ‘We’re basically the same.’

‘You talk too much,’ Remus said offhand, ‘That’s why they like him better.’

‘I do not talk too-‘ Sirius stopped in a huff. ‘At least I’m funny!’

‘Eh.’ Remus tilted his head with a slight grimace. ‘Are you though? I mean Reg has got this dry sense of humour that just makes you want to-‘

‘I have more muscles.’ Sirius interrupted, ‘Reg looks like a limp noodle.’

‘Yeh but it’s all about those lean muscles these days.’ Remus rested his chin on his hands, ‘I mean I wouldn’t like to say but at a guess I reckon that under that green jumper of his Reg is pretty bloody-‘

‘I WEAR COOLER CLOTHES!’ Sirius half yelled, sounding increasingly desperate. He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair. ‘I wear cooler clothes.’

Remus gave him an unimpressed look. ‘Leather is out Sirius. Nobody likes real leather these days.’

‘But- I- Oh.’ Sirius seemed to deflate. ‘Ok.’

‘Right!’ Remus got to his feet wiping his hands on his robes and shot a charm at his hair, which flattened itself slightly. ‘How do I look?’

‘What? Wait! Remus,’ Sirius reached up and grabbed the Remus’ sleeve, ‘You have a crush on Regulus too?’

‘Noooo,’ Remus looked back over his shoulder in the direction Regulus had wandered, ‘Why would you think that?’

‘Because he’s drop dead gorgeous, that’s why.’ James chimed in.

‘And on that note,’ Remus gently removed Sirius’ hand, ‘I’ll see you losers later. I’ve got books to find in the stacks. If you know what I mean.’

‘I don’t know what that means!’ Sirius said, now sounding slightly hysterical. ‘Remus! What does that mean?’

But Remus had already turned away and was sashaying towards the back on the library, chest puffed out and his hips swinging.

‘Prongs.’ Sirius turned to James, who was biting the insides of his cheeks, his lips twitching upwards. ‘What’s happening? Moony- he- James!’

James schooled his face into something akin to sympathy. ‘Never mind mate.’ He patted Sirius’ hand. ‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea.’

----------

‘Good Lord Padfoot,’ James said an hour or so later, nudging Sirius who had been jiggling a leg violently for the past ten minutes and making the table shake. ‘Can you stop?!’

‘What do you think they’re doing?’ Sirius pushed his chair back and jammed his quill into his mouth, chewing on the end.

James sighed and reached over, extracting the now soggy feather from Sirius’ mouth. ‘I don’t know. Studying?’

‘Yes, but what?’

‘Potions, probably. You know Rem is shit at potions.’

‘But why is Regulus helping him? I could help him!’

‘Have you ever offered?’

‘Well, no.’

‘There you go then.’ James passed Sirius a sugar quill to suck on. ‘Maybe if you’d-‘

‘Shhhh!’ Sirius shoved James hard in the ribs and grabbed the nearest book, ‘They’re coming.’

James rolled his eyes. ‘Hey Hot Stuff!’ he hollered, ‘And Reg,’ he added, snorting to himself.

‘You really are an imbecile, aren’t you Potter,’ Regulus said as he approached the table, followed by Remus.

‘Why’s your hair like that?!’ Sirius demanded, pointing at Remus’ hair, which was definitely looking more dishevelled than it had done an hour ago. ‘And where’s your tie gone?’

‘Oops,’ Remus gave an uncharacteristic giggle, patting his hair down and then reached across to pull his tie out of Regulus’ back pocket.

Sirius blanched. ‘Wait. You didn’t actually kiss Regulus, right?’

‘I’m starving.’ Remus said, ignoring Sirius entirely, ‘I think I’ll go and see if the House Elves can make me some tea.’

‘Remus!’

‘See you later, lads.’

‘Remus! Don’t walk away from me!’ But it was too late, Remus had turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

‘Regulus. Please.’ Sirius looked up at him frantically.

Regulus gave him a calculating look. ‘Are you actually planning on doing anything about it?’

‘About what?’

‘Don’t be a prat, Sirius. Are you going to actually tell him?’

‘Oh my God. You kissed him, didn’t you!’

‘No!’ Regulus looked affronted. ‘But I will if you don’t sort your shit out and tell him how you feel.’

‘But- but- he’s got a crush on you!’

Regulus snorted and James let out a loud hoot of laughter. ‘You really are an idiot. Why do you think he’s doing all of this?’

‘What?’

‘Wait for it…’ James said, for the second time that day.

‘Oh. Oh! Fuck!’ Sirius scrambled to his feet, crashing into Regulus and knocking the books balanced in his hands to the floor.

‘There we go!’ James said. ‘It’s taken you long enough, Padfoot. He’s been mad for you for ages.’

‘Shit. Sorry Reg.’ Sirius bent down and began to help Regulus pick up the books.

‘What are you still doing here?! Go! Go!’

‘Right!’ Sirius straightened up, his body vibrating with nervous energy. ‘I’m going! Off I go. To tell Remus that I want to-‘

‘Go!’ Both James and Regulus shouted.

‘Yes!’ Sirius turned in a full circle, like a dog chasing his tail. And then spun on his heel just as Regulus bent down to pick up the last of the books.

‘See you in a- Oh my God!’

‘What?’ Regulus asked, looking up at him from where he was bent double.

Sirius looked at him and then at James. ‘Is that- why are you wearing James’ underwear?!’

‘Ah,’ James said, an apologetic look on his face. ‘Sirius. Padfoot. My bestest pal. About that…’

@wolfstarmicrofic

Prompt: purple

They have an agreement. Or, better said, Sirius set forth a condition, and Remus had decided to go along with it. It had seemed better than the alternative at the time, and he thinks it still does, but sometimes he's not entirely certain anymore.

The two of them have been carrying on for a few months now. It had started as a half-drunken kiss and groping session that had left them awkward around one another for a while, at least until Sirius seemed to have become curious or impatient enough to try it again without the alcohol buzzing their heads into a weird sort of static.

But Sirius is nervous, still figuring things out – and scared, though he'll never admit it, at least not yet, and never outside of the darkness encased behind closed bed hangings – and Remus supposes he is too. He has no idea what this makes him or even who he is anymore. But if there's one thing Remus is solid on, it's Sirius Black.

So Remus had readily agreed. They hide it away, don't admit to what they're doing to anyone, barely speaking about it with one another except in the dark and the quiet, where secrets are kept and held close, safe. Protected.

"What's that?"

James jabs a finger toward Sirius as they walk over the grounds, returning from the greenhouses. Sirius pulls back, casting their friend and disparaging glare as he knocks his poking hand away.

"What're you on about?" he asks, James' hand still fighting to get at Sirius' neck.

"That," says James pointedly, and Remus sees it just before fingers latch around the top of Sirius' scarf that's slipped down enough to reveal the bruise that's blossomed like a glorious little claim. James yanks the fabric away, Sirius squawking in protest, still trying to battle him off. "Godric on a fucking erumpent. Who gave you that thing? It's bloody massive!"

His eyes are bulging behind his glasses. Beside Remus, Peter is gawking, open-mouthed, looking a little impressed. But Sirius is looking increasingly like a caged animal, trying to hide it away, his shoulders slouching with that easy way of his that Remus knows is anything but, a practiced gesture learned at a far too early age. He doesn't say anything, never so much as looks at Remus, but his mouth is tightening around its edges, a tell-tale sign of danger.

"It's bright purple," manages Peter finally, sounding amazed. "Like Dumbledore's robes purple."

James smirks as he studies his friend, eyes sweeping his neck appreciatively. "Those girls, huh? One of them is hiding something feral," he remarks cheekily, and Remus barely fights off the flush creeping up his own neck. Sirius doesn't deny it, only rolling his eyes, and Remus feels something in him shrivel just a little, only enough to really matter. "Look at that, lads. Seems like Padfoot's found himself a keeper."

Remus purposefully looks away, eyes tracking another group of students as they enter the castle, but they snap back as Sirius speaks.

"Think I have, yeah," he mumbles, sounding as though he's mostly talking to himself, but his gaze is fixed intently on Remus.

"What?" demands Remus, voice far higher pitched than he's currently comfortable with, though there's not much he seems able to do about it.

"Er, what?" intones James, some of his amusement dropping away, replaced by a perplexed expression.

Peter glances between them all. "Sorry, but what's happening?"

But Remus doesn't have an answer, only able to stare at Sirius, watching that wonderful smile slowly spread across his features, grey eyes warm and dancing. He looks as he does in the dark, when it's just them and their secrets. He looks like Remus' Sirius.

Sirius suddenly breaks the eye contact, gaze flickering over Peter before settling on James. "It's from Remus," he says, his tone casual. "The mark."

James gapes as Peter looks at Remus in astonishment. This lasts for nearly a minute before:

"He what?" he shrieks, and then he's lunging forward, tacking Sirius to the ground. Sirius grunts, protesting loudly, but James only ignores him through their tussle. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me, you twat?"

"Gerroff me, Potter," grumbles out Sirius, though the words are muffled, his face currently buried in James' armpit.

Peter and Remus stand back and watch them, not offering to help. Peter finally shifts his eyes away from their shouting friends and looks at Remus speculatively.

"Did you really give Sirius that mark?" he asks curiously.

Remus hums. "Did, yeah," he responds.

Peter only nods, his eyebrows lifting a little as he turns back to watch the show, laughing as Sirius lands a solid kick in James' kneecap.

Insult

He’s late. 

His date is late and his palms are too sweaty to even grasp his wine glass. He grips the ache between his eyes with his fingers, the pressure of a stress headache already making itself known. 

Why did he agree to this? With a famous footballer as well? What was he thinking? 

for the @wolfstarmicrofic prompt green // very vaguely nsfw

Sirius hated the beach. His pale skin was too susceptible to burning, no matter how often he recast his sun protectant charms. Padfoot loved it, though, gallivanting through the waves. James got a kick out of playing fetch with him. He’d toss the ball into the ocean and Padfoot would bolt after it, getting knocked around but emerging victorious with a robe of green seaweed wrapped around his torso and the ball firmly secured between his teeth.

Today, though, Sirius wanted to sit on the beach with everyone else, pining over Remus as he read his book and got tanner and tanner. Lily had promised to bring him some Muggle potion for his skin that she swore worked better than any charm. 

“Here, you just squeeze it on and rub it in,” Lily said, tossing him the tube. 

Simple enough. He set to work spreading it all over himself.

“Oh, you won’t be able to reach your own back,” Lily said, a terrifying glint in her eyes. “Remus can do it. Remus, come help Sirius put sunscreen on his back!”

“Lily, no,” Sirius said, too late. Remus was already walking over. Sirius gulped.

“I got it, Pads. Lie down on your front,” Remus said, and when Sirius complied, Remus straddled him and squirted a long line of sunscreen down his back.

Sirius thought he was going to die. Remus took his time rubbing in the cream, his big hands making slow circles across Sirius’ shoulders. Remus made his way down, sweeping just under the waistband of Sirius’ swimsuit. And that was a problem, because Sirius’ imagination ran away with the possibility of Remus going further under the swimsuit, maybe even pushing it down. He squirmed, pressing his growing erection into the sand.

Remus leaned over, his mouth so close to Sirius’ ear that Sirius could feel the tickle of his breath. “You all right, Pads?” asked Remus, low and amused. 

He gave Sirius’ hair a light tug and Sirius’ hips jerked forward. Sirius barely managed to bite back a moan.

“I’m great,” he said, about six octaves too high. “I’m just gonna, um. Stay like this for a minute. Tan my back.”

Remus laughed. He rolled his hips against Sirius, and for the first time, Sirius could feel something hard pressed to his back. It felt like…but couldn’t be, could it?

“That’s nice,” said Remus, still slotted against Sirius. “But I think we’ll have more fun if you turn over.”​

Sand

“What do you mean?” James asks again, still baffled by Sirius’ reasoning. 

Sirius huffs, “We can’t go to the beach anymore, because Remus doesn’t like sand.”

James pulls a face, making Sirius sigh heavily, “Just cancel the reservation.”

“I can’t cancel, the booking is for tomorrow. We would lose our money.”

“James, we’re rich. It doesn’t matter.”

“Lily wants to go, so we’re going.”

remus: there’s only one empty chair

james: you can sit on padfoot’s lap

sirius: are you flirting with remus for me?

james: SOMEBODY has to