i write s/i’s not tragedies

i wish i was a balljointed doll so i could sit on some lonely guys shelf and collect dust

yall the only lonely guys who want balljointed dolls are on some FREAK shit you DO NOT WANT THIS

dont tell me what i want i know the market

Happy International Museums Day to the following people:

#OP WHAT DO YOU MEAN

While pretty and sparkly on the inside, the outer shell of a geode is incredibly hard, just like the man who was viewing them.

buddy, you cant fuck osmosis jones. hes too small. you put him on your dick, he just goes on an adventure. he just has a car chase and learns a lesson.

can't stop listening to this

based firemen

you sign up for the job because you want to save lives, and sometimes you get a chance to just be really, really, clear about "yes it is my job to save lives, there is an obstacle, and i am paid to use an axe to solve this problem"

this is the most evil post on this website im not fucking kidding

just found out that giant squid meat is chock fucking full of ammonium ions to increase buoyancy so they would taste fucking disgusting if you tried to make calamari out of them. i mean i wasn't planning on it but a girl can dream right? nobody talk to me

dude.... these 🤨 sunglasses

its literally this

guzma

who wants to see the worst thing ive seen this week

too bad, im showing you anyway

a non-photoshopped picture of someone actually wearing them, for your viewing pleasure

Moon Moon’s brother Dong Dong

This Belongs Here

What

okay like The White Pharaoh image macros i make are supposed to be somewhat of a parody of Mormons but like. how the fuck am i supposed to parody this, they literally already did the thing. the thing that im like “oh haha this is funny because its an exaggeration” no. the mormons actually made the most ass-ugly egyptophilic sculpture that i have ever seen in my life

the city where we live doesn't allow public barbecues so my brother fucking welded a grill to a handcart and now hosts "chill and grill sessions" where he sends all his friends his live location so they can hunt him down on their bikes with sausages in their backpacks while he carts it around evading the police like some sort of barbecue vigilante, grilling on the run. i have never been prouder of him

Wizard Fact #42: The real reason you're not supposed to stick a fork into your toaster is because you might stab one of the wizards in there

and they will instantaneously retaliate with a level 8 Chain Lightning, as is their right