A tired song keeps playing...

feeling bored i’m gonna dox a fish

ok here goes

ocean

what the fub

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

Murray Reich (American, 1932-2012), Grey Quartet, 1978. Acrylic on canvas, 85 x 69 in.

sometimes i wish the gay people in my phone were gay people in my house. where i could give them snacks and blankets and hear the sound of their laughter

my dragonborn barbarian keeps a sketchbook of the party’s adventures. unfortunately she is not a very good artist

oh wtf Astarion that is too real for dnd

My experience so far...

Baldur's Gate 3 companions as tumblr textposts

Bonus Volo:

Please Larian it would be so fucking funny

WWDITS / BG3 crossover

the b in lgbt stands for baldurs gate 3

With some people it’s like yeah you don’t use gay as an insult anymore but do you still argue with someone when they say they look gay in an outfit

Recently my dad was giving away some flannels, and he offered to let me look through them and take what I wanted. I said “thank you for donating to the Jane dressing like a lesbian foundation” and he said why would you say that? You don’t look like that

also a few weeks ago I visited my aunt and (clearly elated) told her that the barista in the coffee shop had called my outfit soft butch and I was over the moon about it. She said “oh what a rude thing to say, it’s not like that at all.”

Girl I WANT to look gay. I want to look butch!! I am BEAMING telling you about this! Read the room!

The same goes for the word fat by the way. It is not enough to just not call somebody fat if you have a problem with someone else calling themselves fat you are an asshole.

Y’all should reblog this post with the last part attached. It was not an afterthought, it was made within seconds of the other post. Fat is also not a dirty word.

Can't stop thinking about this line from the game.

Yuanyang-Rice-Terraces,-Yunnan,-China