NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

I will always and forever reblog this legend.

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

I’m so glad they aren’t around

omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either

Praise natural selection

I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution

The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion

I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!” 

Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing!

And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.

Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.

GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.

this is so relevant to my interests 

It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths…

THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.

We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling.

DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING

AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS

BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN

AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES

IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH

The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were.

I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post

Also important to note that megalodon is theorized to still be alive,possibly living in the darkest depths of the ocean. They haven’t found signs of its extinction

scientists: “we haven’t seen a megalodon in quite some time now, let’s just hope it’s exstinct”

Andrewsarchas, aka “What even are megafauna?”

3ft skull with double canines, largest head of any mammal carnivore (For comparison, adult T. rex skulls are ~ 4ft long.)

Gigantic.

Also has hooves. Closest living relatives are critters like cows and deer and whales.

A sheep in direwolf’s clothing.

Because why not? ;-) 

Source

I don’t think this counts as dancing.  Or even skipping really.  It’s more of an exagerated waddle

So. Let me tell you about the day I took this video. It was the 1 year anniversary of my open heart surgery. It’s about a year old, and I’d say it’s pretty safe to say I’ve improved since then. In case you don’t agree, let’s take a look at some more at my exaggerated waddling.

Waddle.

Waddle waddle.

*rolls across the floor*

Clearly I am immobilized by my own mass.

Oh wait… that’s not it, is it? It sort of seems like the opposite. Almost as though the ability to dance is based on strength, effort and passion and not on being skinny. Strange concept I know, let’s see if you can wrap your tiny little mind around it. 

not to mention she wasnt waddling at all.. That was clearly a jete, chasse, and assemble.. not waddling. ballet…

Yo. Professional ballerina speaking here.

Clearly she is performing a saute arabesque, chasse, step-step, assemble devant with arms in fifth. 

And as a teacher too, I can’t find much technically wrong with it at all. 

Which means not only is she a gifted dancer, she has a wonderful technical foundation that she is executing properly and with lovely mannerism.

Being a ballerina isn’t about how much you weigh. Give me this girl ANY day for a student or dancer to work with. Clearly she has the knowledge and the passion, which means she will be a joy to work with. 

Also, for those of you criticizing, you clearly have NO idea how difficult it is to execute a develope ecarte derriere the way she is at the barre in one of her later photos. This takes YEARS of dedicated training, as well as extensive natural facility, such as turnout, which she clearly demonstrates here. 

So maybe before you peons thinking you’re masters of ballet judge dancers based on weight, you should actually learn about ballet and technique. Because if you had, you’d recognize that this girl clearly has technique—unlike your basic asses.

DANCE IS NOT JUST FOR SKINNY PEOPLE

As someone who loves dancing and is overweight… this post is awe inspiring.

Keep dancing girl. You’re my hero

She is a wonderful dancer fight me

“Women’s rights” how dare she?

he’s just listing good things angrily in a desperate attempt to make them sound not-good

Tumblr needs more of this….whatever this is.

Is this the same artist who made the original for this

how women actually are

OH MY GOD IF I DON’T EVER REBLOG THIS IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE I’M DEAD

mother fuckin macys sale

Her name is Doris. Here’s the artist. And here’s more Doris:

I have a physical need to reblog this every time.

We can do it

When you realize DanAndPhilGames could be shut down because of the upcoming European copyright laws

Oh shit

I feel like no one realises how bad this actually is. To make it clear for y'all if this law passes, it’s going to be 1000x worse than net neutrality. This is a literal internet censorship.

Want to post a cute fanart? BLOCKED. A fanfic? BLOCKED. Do you have a friend in europe and want to send them a meme? BLOCKED. Youtube let’s plays? BLOCKED Dan’s meme videos? BLOCKED.

Nearly not enough people are talking about this so please, even if you’re not european, help us and take part. We did the same when net neutrality was trying to ruin all of our lives. I’ll put some useful links below.

PETITION:

- !anyone can sign!

CALL/E-MAIL YOUR LOCAL MPs

x <- fixed link for call/email your local mps

- !you can only do this if you live in europe/uk!

MORE INFO

EVEN MORE INFO

Take part, lads🌸✨

Right so to add to this. My friend has already been affected by this shit today . Her gmail profile pic which was eevee (pokemon) has been removed apparently due to eu copyright laws. It was a fucking profile pic. @eu fuck u

also Philip DeFranco made a p good video about this topic. I’ll link it which according to the new laws will also be illegal.

video

Jacksepticeye, too.

DONT LET THIS HAPPEN PLEASE HELP US PEOPLE

rdj kissing josh brolin on the lips is such a power move. the man doesn’t give a single fuck. he’s the male protagonist archetype of this century but he will kiss as many guys as he pleases because he can and there’s nothing hollywood can do about it

i love how the media has rdj as this manly hetero Man Of Iron™ but he lives on a diferent dimension where sexuality is whatever the fuck he wants it to be. he will kiss man and women as he pleases. he will dress in pink and yellow and not give a single fuck.

MIRA–

Y SU FAVORITO–

robert has always not given a single fuck for people’s views in what he should wear and how openly affectioned he can be with men. he’s not here for fragile masculinity and heterosexuality. he will continue to kiss, hug and shower them all with love.

Since the photos above focus on him kissing men, I feel the need to also add a few examples of his i don’t give a fuck outfits:

1) he’s a fashion disaster

2) all the guys getting kisses from him are literally b e a m i n g . they love it. they want more

This is on my dash again and the only day I don’t reblog this is the day I’m dead.

1) his fashion speaks to me on a soul deep level I too am a disaster

2) he’s beautiful of course all the boys want more kisses from him he radiates pure beautiful energy and love

i am perturbed

I reblogged this once and found $999 on the floor.

Reblog the Money Susie and you’ll have money coming your way too 💵💵

Holy shit I just won the lottery this really works

How do you find $999 on the floor?

I Reblogged The Money Susie Thats How .

DO NOT!!! SCROLL PAST!!! THIS!! REALLY!! WORKS!! i didnt really believe in things like these but when i saw it on my dash i thought, well, why not, ive really been needing money for the new game i want to buy anyway. and i hit reblog. the next day my mom gave me $100 in CASH and when i asked her why she said that she just felt like increasing my allowance!!i dont know if shes going to keep on giving me $100 allowance so im reblogging again just to make sure

Fuck it

Does it work?!!! Or is it a fraud?!

Those Who Question The Money Susie Will Suffer 500 Million Years Of Debt

The real question is why the heck she stuffed money up her nose do you hAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT’S BEEN?

Hi

Wtf why does this work???

IT WORKS

I NEED MONEY!

nothing to lose

work ur magic my girl

im broke and trying to plan a trip for my birthday please help

Hello broke and trying to plan a trip for my birthday please help, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1. Soon I’ll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

get spooky

how does this appear every june

pride skellies

These skeletons are celebrating pride month.

O shit you right.

I love when karma does her thing

I wanna be angry but this next level satire for the staff to catch up on

Needless to say, I am HORRIFIED.

‘All that you need to know about boars can be summed up in the fact that if you wish to hunt them, you must have a specially made boar spear. This spear has a crosspiece on it to prevent the boar from charging the length of the spear, driving it all the way through his own body, to savage the human holding the other end.’

-Boar and Apples, T. Kingfisher

fuck OFF

Note that pigs are also HUGE. So, yes, they ARE slightly larger pigs.

So I grew up in the city and have never seen a pig in real life and I just googled it and WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I thought they were like labrador sized, like, fat labradors, not mini-cows.

every time I see this post there are more people discovering how fuck off huge pigs actually are and I love it I thought this was a thing everyone knew but clearly not and I’m laughing 

This is me with our Tamworth boar, a heritage breed closer to their wild cousins than the Yorkshire above. I am a fully grown, average sized human. He was a gentle sweetie who, sadly, is no longer with us. His name was Mr. Big. 

FUCK OFF

Forever laffin’ at people who don’t understand how enormous, terrifying, and tenacious wild boar are. 

They’re like if bears had knives protruding from their closed mouths and Didn’t Know When To Quit. Their survival instincts when they’re wounded aren’t “run away and minimize injury” it’s “take the thing that hurt you down with you” They also make sounds like someone crossed a pig with an alligator.

Their head and neck alone can be like the size of an entire human torso.

Also forever laffin’ at people who think pigs are tiny, ‘cause we designed those things can get in the neighbourhood of a thousand pounds in ideal circumstances. 

It’s like when people assume Tuna must be small because they’ve only ever experienced them in hockey puck form.

Like seriously why the fuck y'all think everyone FREAKED THE HELL OUT when Dorothy fell into the pig pen in Wizard of Oz? It’s because pigs are HUGE and weigh a shitton and would crush her in an instant.

also dont they eat like, basically anything?

YUP. Pigs will eat people, if given the chance. They dgaf.

That’s why boar hunters use a team of very tenacious dogs to hold the boar so they can be speared without fucking you up. The dogs wear body armour. 

I’ve heard stories of people shooting boars, and if it didn’t kill them, it just pissed them off. 

how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?

…“how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?”

Very carefully, I would imagine.

WIld boar babies are rather cute, like living humbugs…

…but the adults and their ferocity have been associated with warriors for thousands of years, from Mycenaean Greece (a helmet made from sections of boar tusk)…

…through Celtic Europe (reconstructed carnyx war-horns and standards)…

…Ancient Rome (the crest of Legion 20 “Valeria Victrix”). A couple more legions also used a boar as their crest - I wonder did they squabble over which was the “right” one the way a couple of Swiss cantons had a little war over whose bear was best…?

…then Anglo-Saxon and pre-Viking helmet crests…

…right up to the late Middle Ages (here the white boar badge of Richard Duke of Gloucester, later Richard III of England)…

…and the blue boar badge of the Earl of Oxford, more usually represented by the De Vere arms, quarterly gules and or, in the first a molet argent.

After Richard was defeated at Bosworth in 1485, there was a run on blue paint as inn-signs were changed to reflect new loyalties since Oxford was on the winning side…

And pigs will definitely eat people.

It gets mentioned in the movie “Snatch”, the book/movie “Hannibal” and the webcomic “Lackadaisy Cats”, among numerous other fictional sources, and IRL it’s suspected to be the reason why numerous missing persons have stayed missing.

More here (another comment to this same OP) and here (slightly different).

Here’s some boar-hunting armour for dogs, ancient…

…and modern…

…and the modern one looks very like a simple style of ancient…

…and the modern one looks very like a simple style of ancient…

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. All of you have loved ones. All can be returned. All can be taken away. (•_•) | PayPal | Patreon

where is the full remix i need it

wow ! @xxmileikaivanaxx @xxtc-96xx @lazycb @blobtheartist this is actually amazing ! @ravnicawatchwolf @captainthane

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters… S.T..R … My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. STROKE IDENTIFICATION: During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance) They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this… STROKE IDENTIFICATION: A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. RECOGNIZING A STROKE Remember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions : S * Ask the individual to SMILE .. T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg ‘It is sunny out today’). R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS . If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. NOTE : Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is 1. Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue. 2. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. A prominent cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. And it could be your own.

LIVE SAVING. WOOOAHH. REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG 

Had a family member almost die of one, so signal boosting because you never know when you could save a life.

Because I feel bad if I don’t reblog…

My mother died after being paralyzed by a stroke. Please read this^

I remember a while ago here in UK there were stroke-identifying adverts. Their catchphrase was FAST:

We managed to save my nana with this information when she had her first stroke. 

As someone who has had a stroke, I appreciate this

I learned FAST, too. Never forgot. Just in case.

TIMING is so important! When you see someone that might be having a stroke, tell the hospital/ambulance what time you believe the stroke started because there is a roughly 3 hour window (sometimes more or less depending on hospitals) for when clot specific medicine can be administered and for it to be effective. So once you identify I stroke, try and remain calm, but act quickly.