🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

youre lying if you claim youve never done this

i bet those colors only shrimp can see suck major ass

jealousy isn’t the way bro

The shrimp aren’t gonna have sex with you.

you take that back right fucking now

Unfortunate news… scientists have discovered that shrimp do not see “extra colors”.

We thought that they did because they have 12 different molecules for photoreceptors, whereas humans have only 3. BIG difference, right??

Nope. Turns out that they simply do not have the mental wherewithal to blend, and so needed a separate receptor for each color. The human brain adds color emissions together to create a singular representative color, like reverse engineered printing. Shrimp can’t do that. They can’t take light emitting “green” and light emitting “red” and come back with “yellow”, like we do. They have to have a receptor for yellow, and are relatively horrible at distinguishing shades of colors.

So at the end of the day, not only do shrimp not have “extra colors”… they see less than we do. Shrimp can’t see the fake colors :(

babe wake up new shrimp color drama dropped

you could tell me british people say/do literally anything and i would believe it 

@namelesstunnelgrub​ i straight up can’t tell if you’re joking

CUCKFIELD REAL?

NO FUCKING WAY

Whoever made that tag doesn't realize how much we love 80s Synthwave Numb Bob Fan Dance in this home

Zoned out for twenty min thinking about how I’d explain fortnite to an ancient Roman

....well? don't leave us hanging 👀

I’d open with its a painting but it moves. (It’s enchanted to move?) Uh, sure. (Witchcraft!) I am stoned. Let’s try again. I’d open with its many paintings put together in succession so it has the appearance of movement. Demonstrate by drawing a simple page flip animation of a fish swimming in the margin of a book. Okay. So this buff cat. You see the cat’s head on the muscular man’s body? (Is this an Egyptian god?) Uh, no. It’s just like, we don’t have that shit anymore. I mean, so much time has passed, its pretty much fallen out of the cultural milieu here. (Existential crisis. I get him some tea. He spits it out cuz he thinks it’s disgusting.) ok buddy. So. You good to keep going? Okay so. It’s many paintings in quick succession so it appears to move, and you control its movement. Not the whole painting. Just the cat. He moves around on this landscape. The point of controlling the cat’s movement is like the point of a war game. Loosely. (So you practice war? Sharp nod. War.) Uh, okay. So then, when you get your little man to kill someone, that’s good, right. (What is he doing now?) Oh he’s dancing. You can make him do a little dance after he kills someone. (It’s inappropriate to do a little dance after you take a man’s life.) Okay but it’s not actually — (it’s INNAPROPRIATE. I spit on this). He spits at my laptop.

what alienation of labor does to a mf

Keep finding out shit I do has names.

theyre so rude and in their mind theyre so nice for even talking to you at all

this gave me PHYSICAL PAIN

i didn’t realize that i repressed that memory but i absolutely did and it happened almost exactly like that

I only made it halfway through.

She creates more content like this on tiktok and they're hilarious but it's also so painful to watch. I even lowkey started to hate seeing her because of how accurate it is. But then I saw this comment in one of her videos and it really made me think

man I couldn't do twitter. on tumblr nobody gives a shit if u bully celebrities, on twitter it becomes a fucking national conversation for three days

john green's cock monologue never could have happened on twitter

god I wish that were me: a compilation

drinking a monster energy drink undoes your baptism

the range 

Top 10 Anime Fights

okay so this is wildly off this blog’s “theme”, but can somebody pls explain to me what these two middle-aged men are doing to each other with their fingers?

Gay off

mutuals do this with me

#this is what a stand fight looks like to people who aren’t stand users

this is only like a fraction of why he’s awesome and i love him 

he’s done so many good things for america and is an amazing politician. 

whaaaattttta man

oh and btw, him and barack are the cutest of the cute tbh

date of origin: 11th of march, 2013.

Jesus fucking Christ I thought this entire thing was a parody. I was flipping through it thinking it was a perfect imitation of these horrific 2012-2014 era slideshow posts and reaching the heritageposts date tag was like reaching the end of a horror movie.

I saw the punchline and it still killed me

we stan Mrs. Sofolarin

you told your toddler not to be rude and so now he is developing an incredible skill with sick fucking burns

omg…but the last one with pinching fingers together and ‘this much delicious’ is fucking excellent

i am using this from now on

*ends my father’s bloodline*

<3

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil