welcome to the shit show

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

First like and this has already found its intended audience

uh oh

When you're unsuccessfully looking for something and start gradually increasing your It Could Be There range. Like yeah sure maybe the rice cooker pot is in the freezer, idk

i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

aita for wanting a life that feels worth living

adhd will have you fighting for your life to do beloved hobbies that bring you nothing but joy

Cannonball

its called the D: drive because you look at how much space is left on it and you go "D:"

why is this mom joke getting notes

bc its true

yeah Romeo and Juliet suuucks they should’ve both survived at the end and lived happily ever after instead. but of course the writer kills them both off for shock value.

They also should've been garden gnomes

I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

They are exploring under the bed! This is normal stuffed animal behavior, as they are trained to protect you from monsters and shadow creatures, so it's natural that they want to keep an eye out. Don't be sad, thank your friend for doing such a good job.

they have little adventures with the dust bunnys under there

sure I could become a slut. but you see, I'm scared

suwe I couwd become a swut!! :3 but yoo see, I’m scawed UwU

This post has been UwU-ified!

you are a curse sent from the devil himself to mock mortals.

sent fwom da deviw? No, siwwy! :3

My powers far exceed him.

Has this one made it to tumblr yet

person #2 is labeled: filler baritone which nobody will here but adds gentle thiccness

it just keeps getting better

HE DOESN’T EVEN SOUND OUT OF PLACE WHAT THE FUCK

Of course he doesn’t sound out of place

He knows what he is doing

How dare u doubt him

Kermit was a famous pirate known for his tenacity and success.

She let more blood in 10 seconds than the phlebotomist let all damn day.

Holy shit that's so cool

Finally “do you love the colour of the sky” got compressed for our convenience

This is now my favorite photo

となりのトトロ · My Neighbour Totoro

I'd be unstoppable if I didn't have to worry about time or money or having a body