leftbearnopanda. No. Polar.

I’ve watched this 6 times

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

i have spotify. open. right now on my computer. do you want me to blast you? do you want me to put you on blast cuz i got your history right here in the side bar take it back by jimmy buffet. nautical wheelers by jimmy buffet. jolly mon sing by jimmy buffet. STEAMER by jimmy BUFFET! treat her like a LADY by jimmy BUFFET! mañana by jimmy BUFFET! WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET. HaVaNa Daydreaming by Jimmy Buffet. what the FUCK happened to you? are you HAUNTED? are you FUCKING POSESSED??

YOU USED TO BE MY BROTHER

love a good quote from a book that sucks. like this was soo real . nobody read this tho

my advice to you; put a little dijon mustard in any cheesy beige food. whisk it into your cheese sauce just before u add the cooked macaroni. spread a thin layer in your cheese toasties. add a spoonful to your mashed potatoes with the butter. anything thats gonna be heavy on rich dairy and starches will benefit enormously from the hint of warmth and acidity that dijon mustard will give it, even if you don't add enough to make it Taste Like Mustard (which, ideally, you shouldnt). itll cut through the richness and stop your tastebuds getting fatigue from too much fat&starch, which is important for the overall enjoyment of a dish. ur welcome. take this knowledge and change the world

my favorite emotion is when someone does something kinda foolish and all you can say is “i love you” in response

WELL THAT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL

writing fics be like

the oedipal task of doing the dishes

SISYPHEQN SISYPHEAN

the funniest thing about wicked is the fact that they literally sing a song that's the equivalent of the 'i didn't know how to process my feelings about someone i liked so i wrote a note saying get out of my school' post and we're supposed to believe they're both totally straight

bonus:

@aikinn yeah people should see this actually

No YouTuber will ever top the phrase "A powerful rat named Charles Entertainment Cheese."

"A California-themed amusement park in the already California-themed California" is also a banger and comes from the same channel.

How quickly we forget "You would have to pay an industrial engineer to create a complex computer simulation of a theme park populated with agents, all with unique preferences, riding attractions of varying capacities in order to compare and contrast wait times, number of rides ridden, and other factors with and without a virtual queue system just to get to the bottom of this incredibly niche curiosity" followed immediately by

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

Legendary Holy Blade, by nolan192

The addition is ALSO really good