Katie McLuthor

Lena walks through the park with a bag over her shoulder when the truth hits her like a sledgehammer.

Kara had almost died in front of her during the fight with Reign.

She breathes in sharply, tears in her eyes. She’d watched that fight with James by her side, and she’d felt terrified. Mostly for Supergirl, but to know that was Kara, the one person she loved most in the world? Which means someone else posed as her, because Kara had been in no shape to answer a door.

Lena presses a hand against her chest and takes a deep breath. Of all the people on Kara’s team, she knows of two that have shape-shifting abilities. J'onn and M'gann. Which one it was, she isn’t sure.

She adjusts the bag that carries the part from her foundation’s lab and grits her teeth. She’ll have to ask after the mission is over, but in the end, is it worth the resentment? She thinks of all her bad deeds, and decides it’s not worth bringing it up. The most crucial thing is those she loved survived.

. __ . __ . The next time it happens, Lena is in the lab with her safety goggles, electrician gloves, and her tools. She’s carefully rewiring a device to aid in the detection of a hard to locate alien, one that can teleport. Her goal is to trace the signature of the energy left from the teleportation, so the others can reach the alien before they rob another store.

Lena smacks into the bottom of the cargo plane, her vision briefly specks of grey and white. Above her, Supergirl holds the two pieces of the the airplane.

“Leave me! Save the chemicals!” Her head and body throbs, and the cold wind cuts through her. If the chemicals drop, so many others will die due to Morgan Edge’s vile vendetta.

“No! I won’t leave you! Climb, Lena! Climb!”

A clatter jolts her back to her task. The screwdriver rolls off the table and onto the floor.

That had been Kara, who refused to give up on her. Who was willing to doom an entire city. The horror of that choice had been what prompted Lena to climb and grab Supergirl’s hand, because she didn’t want Supergirl saving her and dooming the city if she dropped the chemicals instead.

Lena shudders and presses her hand against her right temple. Kara had saved her life that day, but it wasn’t even the first time she’d done it.

The door opens behind her. “Just a minute,” Lena says. She reaches down to pick up the screwdriver, when a familiar hand reaches down to snag it instead, the loop of blue nanotech fabric around her thumb. “Kara,” Lena breathes.

Kara smiles at her, but a crinkle is between her brow. “You okay? Your heartbeat spiked.”

Lena takes the tool back and looks away. “I - I’m okay.” She’s not quite ready to talk about it. Especially with the new and intense dynamic they’ve built since Kara’s return from the phantom zone. “This is almost done. Give me a moment to program it.”

“Okay.” Kara leans against the counter to watch her work, and Lena can’t help but blush as she returns to her task.

.__.__.__.

Inevitably, after a successful mission, Lena finds herself on the sofa in the Tower with a bag of take-out. Potstickers as usual. Kara wouldn’t be Kara otherwise.

She takes a small plateful, though Kara’s plate is packed with them. Lena takes a few bites, but when she sees Kara drink from her latte, the memory hits her hard.

Pain bubbled through her, and she coughed, grabbing her throat. The cup splatters to the ground, and froth bubbles from her lips. She falls.

Wind tugs at her body, her eyelids flutter, and Kara flies through the air with her glasses on and a terrified expression on her face.

“Hey, remember when I was poisoned, and I dreamt you flying and carrying me?” Lena blurts it out, and immediately looks down at her plate. “Yes?” Kara’s response is hesitant.

Lena puts down her plate and turns to face Kara directly. “It wasn’t really a dream, right? It actually happened.”

Kara winced. “I’m so sorry, Lena. I’m sorry I lied to you. I-”

“Kara.” Lena reaches over to gently touch Kara’s knee. The Super looks up at her, her words stalling mid-sentence. “Thank you so much.”

Kara’s hand curls around her own. “You know I’ll always fight to save you, right?”

Tears sting Lena’s eyes. “Yes.” She scoots closer and rests her hand against Kara’s cheek. “I - I’ve been thinking of all the times Supergirl saved me. Or the times I nearly watched Supergirl die. It was all you, the one person I love most in the world.”

Kara breathes in sharply, her eyes wide.

Lena knows this is a massive risk, but she needs Kara to know just how much she cares. “You know I’ll always try to protect you too, right? With tech or magic.”

Kara turns her head to kiss Lena’s palm. “I know. You’ve proven it again and again.”

She rubs her thumb over Kara’s cheek. “I’d like to be brave today,” she whispers. “When I say love, I mean I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time. I know I’m not deserving of your love, not after all I’ve done.”

When Kara started to open her mouth to protest, Lena pressed a finger to Kara’s lips.

“I need to say this, Kara. Please let me say it.” After Kara nods, Lena takes a steadying breath. “Yes, your lying and duplicity broke my heart, but I can’t ever undo what I did in retaliation. I’m sorry, Kara. I will continue to do all I can to atone for it.”

“Lena.” Kara tenderly kisses Lena’s forehead. “Lena,” Kara says her name again almost like a prayer. “I love you too. So much, and I forgave you. Please don’t keep beating yourself up. You’ve done more than enough.”

The tears erupt in a mix of a chirp and grumble, an embarrassing cat-like sound. Terribly undignified. Those thoughts flee the moment Kara pulls her into a tight hug. As she cries, Lena’s fists Kara’s shirt, and after a long moment, she realizes that Kara also weeps. Their shared grief, trauma, but most of all the forgiveness and love they’ve shared with one another.

She pulls back to look at the person she loves most in the world, and Kara smiles, wetly, her face streaked with wet trails. Lena cups her face and wipes away some of the wetness, her eyes darting back and forth between Kara’s eyes and mouth. She’s not entirely sure what sign she’d been seeking, but the way Kara’s smiles convinces her.

She presses her lips to Kara’s, soft and light like a question. When Kara wraps her arms around her and returns the kiss eagerly, Lena melts into her.

She knows they need to talk more, to work through all of this, but for now? For now, Lena is finally home.

“Uncaring of who sees”

@itllsetyoufree exactly

@femaleheroes​ :)

-

It takes hours. Days. Weeks.

They save the world, they defeat the phantoms; they lose their one, only way of tracking Kara down, and they’re left with nothing. They save hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of lives at the expense of one. Not one of them can say with their whole heart that it was worth it.

Still, Lena works.

Seguir leyendo

“Okay,” Kara says, answering Lena with a shaky exhale. She nods rapidly as she adjusts her grip on her phone. “Okay, yeah. That’s cool, I know it was last minute to invite you over, um…” 

She trails off and looks around her apartment, worrying her lip between her teeth. It’s the same as it ever was, cozy and warm and homey, but right now, for the last few days, the walls have felt like they’re getting closer and closer. 

“You don’t have to come here,” Kara pauses again, steeling herself for a moment before she continues. “Do you mind— I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but do you mind if I go to yours for a bit instead then? I just—”

“Kara,” she hears Lena murmur. It’s soft, and it’s gentle, and Kara closes her eyes as the sound wraps snug around her shoulders. “I didn’t mean— I’m not going home to my apartment. I… realized some things, seeing you with your dad, and I have to figure out where I came from, too. I— I’m going to Ireland, for a while. I know you just got back…”

Lena keeps talking, Kara’s sure of it, can hear the low rumble of Lena’s voice in her ear, but the words dissolve and go murky, a low buzzing taking their place and Kara stares at the corner of her coffee table when it starts feeling like the only thing in her apartment that’s not swimming

Lena’s still talking when the buzzing stops ringing in Kara’s ears and her vision unblurs, and Kara leans her head back against the wall to ground herself against her pounding heart.

“It’s not forever,” Lena’s saying, still soft, still gentle. “Just… a little while, Just to see. I have to— I’m gonna go home.”

It’s quiet for a minute. Kara can feel her heart pounding in her chest, can feel the tips of her ears going a bit numb, can hear Lena’s breath through the phone. 

“Don’t,” Kara whispers.

She says it softly, barely an exhale of a word. She’s scared to say it any louder, in case Lena might hear it.

“Kara…” 

“Lena, please,” Kara whimpers. Her eyes burn with tears, and she presses a fist to the bridge of her nose in an attempt to hold them back. “Please stay,” she whispers, losing her battle when a tear drops to her cheek.

“Kara—” 

Kara cuts her off with a wet hiccup, breath shuddering out of her as she pulls her knees into her chest. 

“I know it’s selfish,” she murmurs, “and I know that I don’t have the right to be selfish with you anymore, but I just got you back, and I just— I need you.” 

Kara hears a sharp intake of breath through the phone and winces, taking in a breath of her own.

“Kara,” Lena says, and her voice is so soft, so gentle that Kara’s eyes well with tears once more. “I’m not going to Ireland to get away from you. You can come visit me. I hope you do, actually.”

Kara picks her head up, blinking down at her foot as the buzzing in her ears fades into quiet once more. In the distance, she hears a little thunder.

“I— oh. What?”

“How long did it take you to fly to Dublin that time?” Lena’s smiling into the phone, Kara can hear it in her voice. 

“A few seconds,” Kara answers, breathing easier as the pressure in her chest starts to disappear.

Lena hums happily into the phone then, and Kara grins. 

“I hope a few seconds isn’t too much trouble, then.”

“It isn’t,” Kara whispers, smiling. “Not at all.” 

@itllsetyoufree​ “Don’t”

It had been bad. One of the worst they had ever had. Words thrown carelessly between them. Things thrown in anger and rage. And for the first time Lena Luthor had broken her word. She had left. She had turned around and left with the sound of the door rattling in its frame.

They’ve fought, after all what couple didn’t. Short spats or light jabs back and forth but never like this. Never over something so large. Lena had been furious to the point where tears threatened to fall. Kara had dismissed her telling her she was over reacting and Lena had curled her lip and spat, “I love Kara Danvers and she is not expendable.”

And Lena had left.

Left without a look back. She had gotten three blocks over before the rain had started mixing with the tears. Mixing with her regret at the words she had spoken. Regret at breaking her word. Her promise to never leave Kara. And it makes her heart race and her legs are moving without her mind catching up. Even when she reopens the apartment door to find Kara perched on the window ledge. Crinkle and pout firmly on her face.

The apology doesn’t gef to leave her lips. Doesn’t get uttered because Kara’s lips are on hers and its all the apology either of then need.

“I shouldn’t have left,” Lena whispers as she grips Kara’s jjmper like its a lifeline.

“I shouldn’t have been so careless,” Kara mutters, heads resting against one another. Eventuality asking so quietly Lena almost doesn’t hear her.

“Together?”

“Always.”

AU where Kara wakes up in her apartment after crisis but finds Lena next to her. She finds a wedding portrait on her right and-oh no we’re married here.

Kara panics and thinks that everything with crisis and her hurting Lena was all just a bad dream, maybe she was in her happy fairy tale after all.

So she makes Lena’s favorite pancakes (always chocolate) and for once in what feels like that forever dream, she finally smiles that big grin of hers.

Today was a good day.

So when Lena’s eyes flutter open and she scrunches her nose as she yawns, Kara is prepared to give her wife (wife!) the best morning she could ever have, complete with kisses, hugs, pancakes, and all the I love you’s she could say before they go to their work in the morning.

That is until Lena looks at her in confusion, this makes Kara stop for a beat… A second one… And a third one.

Until she can no longer take it and sputters out a ‘good morning love, I made you pancakes!’ (She swoons at how the word love seems to flow out of her mouth).

Lena blinks and hesitates for a second before jumping up and wrapping her arms around Kara’s waist.

Lena buries her face into Kara’s neck, sighing as if she couldn’t believe she was here (Kara can’t either).

Yes this was the best morning Kara’s ever had since Lena found out.

__

This was the worst morning Lena’s ever had.

Remembering that every earth has been destroyed is not really an ideal waking up for her.

But she can manage, she was a Luthor after all. No that wasn’t what made this her worse morning, it was the fact that the very person who betrayed her is standing right in front of her, grinning like she won the lottery while presenting some sinfully delightful pancakes.

Lena wants to go back to sleep and dream the rest of her life away.

Lena concluded three things while she was staring at Kar- no, Supergirl.

1. Supergirl didn’t remember anything (after all why would K-Supergirl ever smile at her like that?)

2. She and Kara are married. (Why.)

3. She just- really wants to hug her right now. (so she does)

She knows she’ll regret it after the hug was over but Kara is here and she is wearing the dorkiest red sweater and sporting that adorable grin. And she just misses her okay?

So she hugs Kara like it will be her last (she thinks that it will be, she doesn’t know that she will receive so much more than she thinks she deserves).

After this, she thinks, after this I can go back to hating her. But for now, she will gladly be the fool that they made her out to be.

The “Protect Lena” formation

Bonus: protect her at all costs

(also on ao3)

“Nia, I had it covered! What the hell were you thinking?”

Brainy frowns at her from the far side of the gurney, J’onn tutting as Alex’s eyes narrow. Even Kelly clicks her tongue in disapproval, which, okay. Maybe Lena shouldn’t be yelling at an injured young superhero lying breathless in a med bay because she’d taken the full force of a proto-cannon blast meant specifically for Lena. Maybe she should lower her voice, just a little.

Her point still stands, though.

Hey @searidings​ this is your fault

AU where Kara wakes up in her apartment after crisis but finds Lena next to her. She finds a wedding portrait on her right and-oh no we’re married here.

Kara panics and thinks that everything with crisis and her hurting Lena was all just a bad dream, maybe she was in her happy fairy tale after all.

So she makes Lena’s favorite pancakes (always chocolate) and for once in what feels like that forever dream, she finally smiles that big grin of hers.

Today was a good day.

So when Lena’s eyes flutter open and she scrunches her nose as she yawns, Kara is prepared to give her wife (wife!) the best morning she could ever have, complete with kisses, hugs, pancakes, and all the I love you’s she could say before they go to their work in the morning.

That is until Lena looks at her in confusion, this makes Kara stop for a beat… A second one… And a third one.

Until she can no longer take it and sputters out a ‘good morning love, I made you pancakes!’ (She swoons at how the word love seems to flow out of her mouth).

Lena blinks and hesitates for a second before jumping up and wrapping her arms around Kara’s waist.

Lena buries her face into Kara’s neck, sighing as if she couldn’t believe she was here (Kara can’t either).

Yes this was the best morning Kara’s ever had since Lena found out.

__

This was the worst morning Lena’s ever had.

Remembering that every earth has been destroyed is not really an ideal waking up for her.

But she can manage, she was a Luthor after all. No that wasn’t what made this her worse morning, it was the fact that the very person who betrayed her is standing right in front of her, grinning like she won the lottery while presenting some sinfully delightful pancakes.

Lena wants to go back to sleep and dream the rest of her life away.

Lena concluded three things while she was staring at Kar- no, Supergirl.

1. Supergirl didn’t remember anything (after all why would K-Supergirl ever smile at her like that?)

2. She and Kara are married. (Why.)

3. She just- really wants to hug her right now. (so she does)

She knows she’ll regret it after the hug was over but Kara is here and she is wearing the dorkiest red sweater and sporting that adorable grin. And she just misses her okay?

So she hugs Kara like it will be her last (she thinks that it will be, she doesn’t know that she will receive so much more than she thinks she deserves).

After this, she thinks, after this I can go back to hating her. But for now, she will gladly be the fool that they made her out to be.

this gif set inspired me, and so did this little ficlet. so, i wanted to add one of my own, a scene from would you forget me? (do i know you?) from lena’s POV (whose side was never shown in the story) during her memory erasure.

She wakes with a start, and Lena can’t remember who she is at first. She can’t remember where she is or why she’s there. There’s a touch of vulnerability to her consciousness, however, a dreadful sense of having perhaps overstayed her welcome. Of being seen while soft, sleeping, unaware. Weak. A strangely strong and awkward desire to run surges through her.

Lena opens her eyes, blinking in confusion, cataloguing her surroundings for threats. This isn’t her penthouse, the homey dark hues too comforting, the pillowcase scent clinging to the inside of her nostrils something too sweet. Something just out of reach. Against her pillow, she can feel her hair is matted, makeup smudged and not removed. Lillian would be horrified.

Lillian.

She’d just been sentenced. Lena had drank, quite a bit, and stayed over at Kara’s.

Kara.

Keep reading

How do you know she’s the one?

When they reached the giant Christmas tree downtown, Lena stopped to look up at its lights and tinsel. Sam waited at her side, knowing that whatever troubled Lena would come out in time. It’s usually how their late evening walks would go. Lena would ask her to come for a walk, they’d wander around downtown and eventually end up by the park, and then Lena would share what she needed.

Tonight, Lena turned to Sam with furrowed brows. “As a Luthor, everybody wants something from me.”

Sam tilted her head and took a steadying breath. If she needed to go beat up someone for Lena, she’d do it in a heartbeat. Though Sam was pretty sure her punch would only hurt her hand if ‘she’ was who Sam thought it was.

But Lena surprised her. “She just wants me.” Tears filled Lena’s eyes as if she couldn’t fathom this.

“Oh, honey.” Sam opened up her arms. Lena stepped into them and held on tightly, her tears hidden by the press of her face against Sam’s coat.

“It feels too good to be true,” Lena whispered. Her shoulders trembled with her silent sobs.

“Lena, you deserve to be loved and cherished, okay?” Sam rubbed Lena’s back, gently. “From what I’ve seen of her, she seems to worship the ground you stand on.”

Lena pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I might have ran when she confessed,” she admitted, quietly. “I panicked.”

“Then what are you doing here with me?” Sam lightly pushed her shoulder into Lena’s. “Go tell her how you feel. Then kiss her senseless.”

“Sam!” Lena choked out a laugh-sob.

“Oh come on, Lena, the way you two gaze at each other? Practically eye-fucking right there.”

Lena lightly swatted her sleeve. “You’re incorrigible.”

Sam grinned. “And that’s why you come to me to chat.”

Lena huffed but the smile was back. She looked less shaken and far more calm, which was a relief. Sam had been really worried when Lena had showed up, pale and shaken, to ask for the walk.

“So what’s stopping you from telling her how you feel?” Sam figured it best to give Lena a little push.

A deep sigh rippled through Lena’s thin frame. “I’m a Luthor,” she said, softly. “She’s a Super. Everything I touch seems to cause more harm than good.”

“Oh, stop that.” Sam frowned and prodded Lena’s shoulder with her finger. “You’re being ridiculous now. You’ve done so much good. Not just with your company, but also the many times you helped save the world. Saved Kara’s life. Saved mine. What you touch? It’s caused more good than harm. Far more good. You’re a hero, Lena. Not just to me but so many others. So take those negative self-thoughts and throw them in the ocean, please.”

Lena looked at her for a long moment. Slowly, a smile spread across her face. “Thank you for that. I needed to hear it.” She straightened her shoulders and looked up at the tree. “Do - do you really think-”

“Yes, Lena,” Sam interrupted with a roll of her eyes. “You deserve love and care and you deserve her. And if she’s told you that she wants you for you, then there you go. There’s your answer. So what are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know.” Lena’s shrugged with one shoulder. “Sabotaging myself I suppose.”

“Don’t make me drag you to her apartment and shove you in there,” Sam threatened.

Lena did laugh then. “Okay, okay. I’ll head over.” She pulled Sam in for another hug. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.” Sam patted her back. “Now let’s finish this walk, so you can go get kissed by your girl. Then you can call me and tell me every filthy detail.”

Lena threw her head back in a full body laugh. “Fine.” Turning, the pair headed back to their vehicles. Behind them, the tree lit the area in a sheath of rainbows, and above them, the moon illuminated the path like a blessing.

How do you know she’s the one?

When they reached the giant Christmas tree downtown, Lena stopped to look up at its lights and tinsel. Sam waited at her side, knowing that whatever troubled Lena would come out in time. It’s usually how their late evening walks would go. Lena would ask her to come for a walk, they’d wander around downtown and eventually end up by the park, and then Lena would share what she needed.

Tonight, Lena turned to Sam with furrowed brows. “As a Luthor, everybody wants something from me.”

Sam tilted her head and took a steadying breath. If she needed to go beat up someone for Lena, she’d do it in a heartbeat. Though Sam was pretty sure her punch would only hurt her hand if ‘she’ was who Sam thought it was.

But Lena surprised her. “She just wants me.” Tears filled Lena’s eyes as if she couldn’t fathom this.

“Oh, honey.” Sam opened up her arms. Lena stepped into them and held on tightly, her tears hidden by the press of her face against Sam’s coat.

“It feels too good to be true,” Lena whispered. Her shoulders trembled with her silent sobs.

“Lena, you deserve to be loved and cherished, okay?” Sam rubbed Lena’s back, gently. “From what I’ve seen of her, she seems to worship the ground you stand on.”

Lena pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I might have ran when she confessed,” she admitted, quietly. “I panicked.”

“Then what are you doing here with me?” Sam lightly pushed her shoulder into Lena’s. “Go tell her how you feel. Then kiss her senseless.”

“Sam!” Lena choked out a laugh-sob.

“Oh come on, Lena, the way you two gaze at each other? Practically eye-fucking right there.”

Lena lightly swatted her sleeve. “You’re incorrigible.”

Sam grinned. “And that’s why you come to me to chat.”

Lena huffed but the smile was back. She looked less shaken and far more calm, which was a relief. Sam had been really worried when Lena had showed up, pale and shaken, to ask for the walk.

“So what’s stopping you from telling her how you feel?” Sam figured it best to give Lena a little push.

A deep sigh rippled through Lena’s thin frame. “I’m a Luthor,” she said, softly. “She’s a Super. Everything I touch seems to cause more harm than good.”

“Oh, stop that.” Sam frowned and prodded Lena’s shoulder with her finger. “You’re being ridiculous now. You’ve done so much good. Not just with your company, but also the many times you helped save the world. Saved Kara’s life. Saved mine. What you touch? It’s caused more good than harm. Far more good. You’re a hero, Lena. Not just to me but so many others. So take those negative self-thoughts and throw them in the ocean, please.”

Lena looked at her for a long moment. Slowly, a smile spread across her face. “Thank you for that. I needed to hear it.” She straightened her shoulders and looked up at the tree. “Do - do you really think-”

“Yes, Lena,” Sam interrupted with a roll of her eyes. “You deserve love and care and you deserve her. And if she’s told you that she wants you for you, then there you go. There’s your answer. So what are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know.” Lena’s shrugged with one shoulder. “Sabotaging myself I suppose.”

“Don’t make me drag you to her apartment and shove you in there,” Sam threatened.

Lena did laugh then. “Okay, okay. I’ll head over.” She pulled Sam in for another hug. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.” Sam patted her back. “Now let’s finish this walk, so you can go get kissed by your girl. Then you can call me and tell me every filthy detail.”

Lena threw her head back in a full body laugh. “Fine.” Turning, the pair headed back to their vehicles. Behind them, the tree lit the area in a sheath of rainbows, and above them, the moon illuminated the path like a blessing.

How do you know she’s the one?

Lena Luthor has been looking for a properly celebratory way to break in her new desk. That little accident with the Harun El couldn’t have been better timed…

After ‘Flirting in the Kitchen’ by Arthur Sarnoff

I am about to be so insufferable