What fucking planet do I live on

mollusk

To avoid deer strikes, Finland is painting deer antlers with reflective paint.

damn just pay them a living wage

[These problematic faves discovered a capitalist wizard]

Who are Dorothy, the tin man, the lion, and the scarecrow

The Room (2003) dir. Tommy Wiseau

this is peak video game humor actually

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

one time my friend had surgery on her hip/knee and we went to visit her in the hospital and she was like “hey guys, check out what i have! it’s this cool button that, when I press it, it gives me more morphine!” and sure enough she had a little tube with one end attached to her IV or whatever and one end with a button on it, and every time she pushed the button it gave her morphine

and she just kept pressing it and pressing it and giggling and getting loopier and loopier, so we went to ask a nurse if that was OK or if she was just going to overdose herself

and the nurse said that the morphine button is on a self timer limit and she had already maxed it out and won’t be able to get more for a few more hours, but she can just press the button as many times as she wants and thanks to her already being on the max dose of morphine she was just placebo effect-ing herself into the fucking stratosphere

it was a great image, my friend over there high as balls like I HAVE UNLIMITED MORPHINE POWER!!!! *press press press press* and the nurse like “nah that button isn’t doing shit but she’s having fun”

Spider-Man 3 (2007) dir. Sam Raimi

YOUR SHOES SUCK, YOUR SWAG IS LACKLUSTER, AND YOUR DICK GAME IS WEAK; THINE TRESSPASSES SHALL NOT GO UNPUNISHED [ERADICATES YOU WITH A BEAM OF MOONLIGHT]

Society if humans were pack hunters

This post is indecipherable, thank you

Devin Elle Kurtz on Instagram