i feel like the discovery channel has like five shark weeks a year and we all keep forgetting when it is so they can get away with doing that

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

I am sorry…

I fucks with my moms too heavy to be playing games. REBLOG

Hell no.

Ugh I’m sorry

Alright ma you’re getting a “you alive?” text in 15

damn you people

oh god

So I love my mom not risking it

Me and my mom aren’t on the best of terms but I care about her for the most part. Not gonna risk it sorry followers lmao

CHAIN MAIL MY ASS I LOVE MY MOM 😭

i love my mother thanks

I love my momma

Love chu Ma 😘

goddammit

I KEEP LOOKING BACK AT IT

This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I don’t even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain

i’m that person you see folding something and putting it back after i’ve looked at it lol

^^^ And if I can’t fold it back perfectly they’re gonna at least see that I tried.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

All.of.this

Worked in retail almost half a decade, and let me tell y'all this is daily, not just Black Friday or summer sales.

I’ve had people look me straight in the eyes while they knock over a perfectly folded stack of shirts off a table so they could put down their Starbucks cup. People leave food, drinks, diapers, used pads and bandages, even one time an actual syringe on tables.

I’ve had people destroy entire displays and complain about how dirty and “why don’t employees respect their own store” while I was directly next to them frantically trying to fix what they, themselves, just messed up.

This shit is so ingrained in me now that I fixed displays while on vacation in Disney World for a full half hour.

And before anyone says anything, no, actually picking up after grown adults that should know better, it actually isn’t my job to clean up after you all day. We have customer service, check for product, work the registers, keep the bathrooms clean, deal with angry customers, try to prevent shop lifting, and keep the store running. Recovery (fixing displays) is supposed to be low on our list because people aren’t supposed to be selfish shitheads. If you wouldn’t destroy your friend’s house, don’t destroy retail shops.

I’ve literally had people ask me if I work at several stores before because I’m cleaning up after myself??? like they are asking me for help and I’m like “idk I don’t work here” then they are like “then why are you cleaning?”

It’s,,, basic manners,,, to clean after yourself,,, what is wrong with people,,,

I fix shit in my old store every time I go in there and loudly bitch about other customers so they can hear me being viscerally upset that they can’t behave and put things fucking back where they belong.

can you guys reblog this and tag what job you have in your fantasy life? I’m a singer + actress in mine lol

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

So I actually have a job interview tomorrow and am to be there at 1:45pm…

This is why you keep ya family business off twitter

LMFAO

th..th…thats tuff lmaoo

CALM THE FUCK DOWN Y’ALL HE AIN’T MARRIED

Look they’re even friends now

good plot twist

I just DIED

They need to make 😔 this emoji with 🤠this hat

when they say yeehaw but don’t ask haw yee

I love hanging out with baby boomers my mom was driving and we passed a “road work ahead” sign and obviously i have no self control so now she thinks I’m the funniest person she knows

isn’t it pathetic how we waste so much time on certain people and in the end they prove that they weren’t even worth a second of it

YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch

Reblog to help OP realise their couch dreams!

real talk chris evans just pisses me off so much bc he’s an actual “get a man who can do both” meme like hear me out on one hand he’s a frat boy dressing dude who works the fuck out at the gym, buys 6 packs of beer to go along with his six pack on his body, invents games like “frozen blackjack” and is really good at throwing parties apparently BUT ON THE OTHER HAND he’s a gigantic disney nerd?? a huge romantic sap and a Take Home Guy™?? he talks to his mom about everything and makes everyone feel welcome all the time?? very tolerant and polite?? adopts DOGS and names them after characters in his favorite movies?? loves kids and wants to get married ASAP?? honestly what the. fuck

uhh reblog this w your sign and wether or not your phone screen is cracked

ariana:  yeah, it feels so good to be so young and have this fun and be successful i’m so successful, yeah

me, who just woke up at 2pm with 30 cents in my bank account:

my female role model? the t rex from jurassic park. she just screams and eats. that’s a mood babey