Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

Tumblr 3D you can only view my posts by traversing a dark hallway now

By 30, your face should be a knife.

By 30, you should have a barbed tongue longer than your arm.

By 30, you should be able to slam your head into a tree 20 times per second.

By 30, you should be able to withstand an acceleration of 1,400 g’s.

By 30, you should be a woodpecker.

Bothering the beast

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the_kyza

a doffy i realized i never posted anywhere teehee

“there is no moral. the wolf eats you one day and until it does, the forest is beautiful.”

more on writing muslim characters from a hijabi muslim girl

- hijabis get really excited over pretty scarves - they also like to collect pins and brooches - we get asked a lot of questions and it can be annoying or it can be amusing, just depends on our mood and personality and how the question is phrased - common questions include: - “not even water?” (referring to fasting) - hijabis hear a lot of “do you sleep in that?” (we don’t) and “where is your hair?” (in a bun or a braid, usually) - “is it mooze-slim or mozzlem?” (the answer is neither, it’s muslim, with a soft s and accent on the first syllable) - “ee-slam or iz-lamb?” (it’s iss-laam, accent on the first syllable) - “hee-job?” (heh-jahb, accent on the second syllable)

- “kor-an?” (no. quran. say it like koor-annn, accent on the second syllable) - people tend to mess up our names really badly and you just get a sigh and a resigned nod or an awkward smile, maybe a nickname instead - long hair is easy to hide, short hair is harder to wrap up - hijab isn’t just covering hair, it’s also showing as little skin as possible with the exception of face, hands, and feet, and not wearing tight/sheer clothing - that applies to men too, people just don’t like to mention it ( i wonder why) - henna/mehendi isn’t just for special occasions, you’ll see people wearing it for fun - henna/mehendi isn’t just for muslims, either, it’s not a religious thing - henna/mehendi is not just for women, men also wear it, especially on their weddings - there are big mehendi parties in the couple of nights before eid where people (usually just women and kids) gather and do each other’s mehendi, usually just hands and feet - five daily prayers - most muslim kids can stutter through a couple verses of quran in the original arabic text by the age of seven or eight, it does not matter where they live or where they’re from or what language they speak natively - muslim families tend to have multiple copies of the quran - there are no “versions” of the quran, there has only ever been one. all muslims follow the exact same book - muslims have no concept of taking God’s name in vain, we call on God at every little inconvenience - don’t use islamic phrases if you don’t know what they mean or how to use them. we use them often, inside and outside of religious settings. in islam, it is encouraged to mention God often and we say these things very casually, but we take them very seriously - Allahu Akbar means “God is Greatest” (often said when something shocks or surprises us, or if we’re scared or daunted, or when something amazing happens, whether it be good or bad; it’s like saying “oh my god”) - Subhan Allah means “Glory be to God” (i say subhan Allah at the sky, at babies, at trees, whatever strikes me as pleasant, especially if it’s in nature) - Bismillah means “in the name of God” and it’s just something you say before you start something like eating or doing your homework - In Shaa Allah means “if God wills” (example: you’ll be famous, in shaa Allah) (it’s a reminder that the future is in God’s hands, so be humble and be hopeful)

- Astaghfirullah means “i seek forgiveness from Allah” and it’s like “god forgive me” - Alhamdulillah means “all thanks and praise belong to God” and it’s just a little bit more serious than saying “thank god” (example: i passed my exams, alhamdulillah; i made it home okay, alhamdulillah) - when i say we use them casually, i really mean it - teacher forgot to assign homework? Alhamdulillah - our version of “amen” is “ameen” - muslims greet each other with “assalamu alaikum” which just means “peace be on you” and it’s like saying hi - the proper response is “walaikum assalam” which means “and on you be peace” and it’s like saying “you too”

As a Muslim this post is so very important and it makes me so happy that it gives the small facts and details that one might be unaware of or confused about.

Jef Bourgeau

Excuse me?????

the fact that movie adaptations of The Three Musketeers aren’t consistently giving me crazy cat man Richelieu is honestly so outrageous I want to see - NO I DEMAND to see the Red Eminence draw up important documents and plot to destroy France’s enemies while Soumise naps in his lap and Ludoviska tries to knock ink bottles off the table!!! Wake up how are movie studios not taking this excellent opportunity to give us Richelieu lounging on an armchair in the dark and petting cats like a moustache twirling Bond villain hello??????????????????????????????????????

There have been several Three Musketeers movies since Blofeld’s fluffy white cat became a Thing in Bond movies, and I’m betting that every single time someone mentioned “Richelieu + Cats”, someone else said, “Nope, Bond Villain Trope, won’t work here.”

*****

A bit like the way “po-tay-toes”, mostly from the movie, not so much from the book, may still be the first thing anyone thinks of if spuds turn up in fantasy, and the next thought will involve boiled, mashed or stuck in a stew.

What about gratin, or hasselback, or boxty, or rösti, or maluns, or gnocchi, or Kartoffelklösse, or, or, or…? 

Once the existence of the noble tuber has been established, all bets are off about what can be done with it, limited only by the ingredients to hand. 

*****

For reference, here’s the book quotation: 

Not, IMO, anything like as well known as Sean (Samwise) Astin’s line and delivery.

*****

ETA: a big tip of the plumed Musketeer hat to @eviltothecore13​, who pointed out in a Reply that in two “Three Musketeer” films before the Bond Villain Cat trope was established, Cardinal Richelieu was indeed shown with a cat!

Here’s Miles Mander in 1939:

…and Vincent Price in 1948:

Both cats seem entirely at ease with the situation.

Aspencore

the tone makes this sound like they have a recurring problem with people trying to join after a bad breakup and are just sick of this shit

To understand what's going on here, know these things:

It's absurd and horrifying at the same time.

Good morning. This is the best fic comment I have ever received.

it's cool how these cost almost as much as my house

"Still love the truck btw"

remember how Tesla fans were bragging about the elegant simplicity of the wiring in these things compared to most cars?(read: there's very few circuits and little redundancy so small electrical defects can take out multiple critical systems)

Who could have forseen this.