anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.

he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.

so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.

stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.

and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.

he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.

i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.

the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.

a Christmas movie I want to see

It’s very relaxed up at the North Pole ever since the top demands for toys changed from handcrafted to mass produced. Most of the elves are in “qualify control” these days (very important to check those video games for violence, y’know), and Santa and Mrs. Claus are basically reindeer farmers most of the year. 

Then, in late autumn, Santa checks his list. 

He checks it twice. 

He checks it a third time, and then he calls Mrs. Claus over to the computer, because clearly he’s messed something up and deleted something he shouldn’t have. Mrs. Claus waves him out of the chair, sits down, and starts checking the settings. 

She goes very, very still. 

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here’s the thing

for tumblr answer time, i ask every celebrity the same question

so far i’ve done misha collins

dj khaled

troian bellisario

sean o'pry

gavin grimm

tj miller

lany

and so far not a single goddamn answer. 

i’m gonna keep going until i get a straight answer or @staff​ stops me

still doin it

answer me you heathens

answer me

answer me you cowards

answer the question

Have they answered u yet

no i’m furious

answer the question

Perseverance is my only virtue

cowards

FINALLY

Finally i get to be ignored by celebrities i respect

oh look

*cracks knuckles to dust*

@setheverman​ answer my prayers you negligent absent god

every single person on here? cowardly bitches. 

face your mortality. choose your requiem. 

This sounds like the best question ever, how dare they not answer? I wanna use this question on my family now. Especially my brother and just see him suffer with choosing every single song from the Eagles.

I’m fucking dying “choose your requiem” that’s dramatic as shit and also me

little mac finds his lost cat (based off this idea)

Just Sora Things, Pt. 1/???

It’s been a while since I’ve made a headcanon post, and I’m in a Sora-appreciating mood, so I’m gonna write down some ideas I have about my favorite sunshine dorkupine!

Some Sadness/Angst Under the Cut

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Still one of the best videos on the internet.

HOW DID HE DO IT WHERE IS THE TUTORIAL

HE’S WEARING A SNUGGIE😂😂😂

There are these little tiny fuzzy bugs that are flying around my pear tree and I kind of want to call them cute but I feel like the second I do someone’s gonna tell me they’re like the spawns of satan and they sting people and kill my trees

Nevermind they’re called “Woolly Aphids” and they’re literal fairies

I feel bad for calling them evil now they’re so frickin cute

i saw one and nearly shat myself thinking it was a fairy

shjdhkdfjhgkhkd this is one of the most bizarre things the dub ever did and I feel like we don’t talk about it enough? They just. casually gave their protagonist mind reading powers. Just dropped that like it was nbd and then never brought it up again

💛🧡💚

I love this so much

ALL OF THIS ugh my heart

Some positivity for your day

Yall sleeping on this Sam L. Jackson interview about trump lmfao.

Samuel L. Jackson is an international treasure.

I’m looking at dogs on petfinder and quickly abandoned my search for dogs that might be suitable for my needs for a search for weird dogs that make me laugh. Sorry for the image quality, I was in a hurry.

this Gandalf-looking dog is obviously a wizard in an unconvincing dog disguise:

this dog is either a hippie chick OR pennywise the dancing clown out of makeup:

this dog with a human face is literally just a monkey:

I submit for your consideration Ridley, the bully mix that my cousin’s girlfriend helped foster several years ago:

Please join me in appreciating her sick mutton chops and one (1) fluffy foot

that’s not a dog that’s Sir Didymus

Dinosaurs may have been just minutes away from surviving extinction. 

Some researchers believe it wasn’t the size or scale of the asteroid that wiped them out, but the location of where it hit Earth. If it had landed just a few minutes earlier or later, it would have hit the Atlantic Ocean instead of the Yucatan Peninsula, and the dinosaurs might have survived. 

The asteroid unleashed mass devastation on the planet, including the largest Tsunami in earth’s history, scientists said. 

(Source, Source 2)

i love how occasionally cultural differences crop up on this website and they’re like, mind-blowing. they’re so minor but so fucking intense. anyway washing machines belong in the kitchen

They belong in the washing machine room???

how big do you think our houses are

The little tiny cupboard room that just has a washer, dryer and cleaning supplies???

average UK house size = 88 square metres (x)

average US house size = 266.3 square metres (x)

no

everyone responding ‘they belong in the laundry room’ is giving me a fucking headache

like, do you think we all have a small vacant room in our houses with plumbing that we’re just not using for anything else? like, there’s a space that would clearly fit a washing machine and we just stare at it sadly going ‘WHAT could go there? what could we possibly do with it?’ 

other questions/answers:

Q: what about the basement?

A: most of us don’t have basements

–

Q: what about the garage?

A: many people don’t have garages

–

Q: let me describe a laundry room to you as if you are too foolish to comprehend the idea

A: i’m going to egg your house

time to be controversial but they belong in the bathroom

There’s nowhere to plug it in. The bathroom has no wall sockets because that’s the room with all the loose water.

The washing machine goes in the little room under the stairs

but also what kind of bathroom doesn’t have any sockets??

We don’t even have lightswitches in bathrooms, why would we have sockets?

as a north european, a geographical area with also no light switches in bathrooms (but yes sockets, wtf? inside a medicine cabinet or with those socket guard flaps? do y’all not use blow dryers either?) on account of all the loose water, they go either in:

1. utility hallway between entrance and bathroom/kitchen if it’s a house (https://images.app.goo.gl/u6AvgyKa8SXZuUwW9 / https://images.app.goo.gl/A64iQSx8YR3V9suH8)

2. the bathroom if it’s an apartment, and the sockets are high up on the wall with a flap guard to prevent the electricity from going everywhere (and they’re grounded to prevent electrifying you, also, i unplug them if i’m going to shower but i know a lot of people cba)

you would not believe this song has been here for quite so long and that tomorrow’s its date of birth

nine years in a waking dream and now with a comeback meme the parodies spring up from all round the earth

why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching

dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they’re not gay

look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo-yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself

fuck a “personal bubble”, stay out of my

BLOOD CIRCLE

for anyone in NYC (credit to @evandahm on twitter)

[id: a flyer.  “We are blockading I.C.E.  

I.C.E. is an out-of-control paramilitary police force with an $8 million budget.

I.C.E. imprisons 30,000 people a day in over 200 internment camps around the country.

I.C.E. vans leave the processing center at 201 Varick Street and prowl the streets of New York City.  They grab people from their homes, churches, and jobs.  Starting now, we will halt the operation of I.C.E. at their Varick Street location.

Join us at 201 Varick Street, NYC.

Please share widely.

NYCstopICE@gmail.com

Twitter.com/NYCstopICE”

/end id]

Today is day 3 of #OccupyICENYC. Protesters have been gathering every day at 10 am. 

700 children are being detained in the state of New York, 200 of which are in NYC. 

The protests started in Portland on Sunday and activists are following suit across the United States:

Join or start an occupation at your nearest ICE office. 

i see a frightening amount of ads for Scientology on youtube and i just wanna make sure everyone knows how dangerous it is. it’s not some misunderstood religion, it really is a dangerous cult and a scam. they will bleed you dry of your money and harass you to no end, do not give them your money or any information they can and will destroy you financially and psychologically

Shelly Miscavige, the wife of Scientology’s current leader David Miscavige, has been missing for over a decade with no leads or proof she’s even still alive. She disappeared after allegedly disobeying David (who is known to punish Scientology members with direct physical violence or imprisoning them against their will), and nobody knows where she is, what happened, or why she dropped off the face of the earth. The Church maintains that she’s alive and well but she hasn’t been seen since 2007.

Scientology is dangerous.

I strongly recommend watching Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief and Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath