Pero buatefack

your honor i was just being a little silly

if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George

it’s optimus pride

concept: elves are supernaturally good at everything ONLY because they live to be bonkers old and if you were hot and sexy for thousands of years you’d be kickass at archery and treeclimbing and horseback riding too. but like there’s 20 year old elves out there that are just straight dumbasses who can’t do shit.

concept: non-elves can’t tell the 20 year old elves apart from the 2000 year old elves

concept: there’s a 20 year old elf in your tavern and he’s counting on this 

no. yknow what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your dansen *

Bro in 10,000 BC I woulda been so good at staying up all night making sure no predators got into the cave

I finally finished my quiz! how gullible are you?

His name is Blip because that’s the noise I made while trying to think of a name

Well, okay, this is Blip.  He lives in armor he found because the forest scares him.

Hey, uh, not to be dramatic here or anything, but I would totally die for Blip.

As opposed to that quote about “the horrifying ordeal of being known,” do y’all ever feel so positively UNKNOWN and UNSEEN that it frightens you? Like there’s a self that you feel on the inside, and you believe to be “you,” but it seems like nobody else sees that version of you? And they’re interacting with someone that isn’t you but a projection of their experience of you? What’s more, perhaps nobody will ever know your true essence and you will die without ever being fully realized????? I’m only two beers in honestly

You do not get to call one of my biggest fears out here, thank you very much lol

Fun quarantine game: someone deposit $1000 to my bank account and I'll try to guess who it was. 🙈

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7SidODl0at/

I just got paid so this is how I'm gonna efficiently be tax evading. God bless.