just back for one post <3 and yes i am :)))

weird as fuck and i still CANNOT BELIEVE stephenie meyer just. let that shit happen so casually

anything u say about twilight is probably extremely valid but u simply cannot deny that it's iconic

all my twilight fics can be read on my super old ff.net account!!

i went on a little trip down memory lane recently and reread my old fics and some that never got published. i think i was actually a pretty decent writer and i think it's a shame i stopped, but at this point in my life, i'm so busy that i can't dedicate time to finishing anything.

even thinking about writing makes me feel exhausted. i had the luxury of time back then, which is sadly something i don't really have now.

as for old fics- i do have many still in my google docs account that i would LOVE to publish, but unfortunately, they're all very unfinished and have huge chunks of story missing from them. ive tried over time to chip away at a leah one-shot i still love so much and want to share, but again, i just don't have the time or energy to dedicate myself to it. it's very sad. it's a time in my life i look back on fondly- i cant believe i wrote those when i was depressed and suicidal in college. it was my escape and i'm very happy and glad some positivity and beauty came out of that horrible time in my life. but i'm (unfortunately) an adult now with adult responsibilities :( i got grown shit to do which is so sad lmfaooo.

i'm gonna assume gif meant fic in the first question!

i think i would change some minor stuff- paul still running around shirtless being one, and him still hanging out at emily's even though his wife affected by postpartum depression and newborn baby is home alone. i wanted to show that the pack was still close as ever, but didn't really realize it would make much more sense that paul hangs out more at home and would be irresponsible of him to leave his wife and child home alone without supervision when his wife isn't very capable of caring for the child in that season of their lives. other than that, it's a fic im extremely proud of and still am lowkey kind of impressed by now that my fanfic writing days are over. it's sad, but i think ive lost the magic touch i used to have for writing lmfao.

as for other fics, sure there are some minor changes i would make, but they generally still hold up well years later and there's no glaring missteps i think i took that would make me want to delete a whole work. some things i would change is making the pack a little more mature. i realize now (after getting a bf and getting closer to straight dudes instead of having this image of them in my head that i used for the pack) that i infantilized them a little and made them a little too "mischievous little kid-like". id make them just a little more mature for sure. i also think i would make reservation life a little more realistic, although i'm not sure i have the authority to write about nor do i really have that kind of knowledge on the topic to be confident about posting that, so maybe it's something i would still avoid writing about.

there ARE however some old works of mine in my google docs account that have some very childish and honestly racist/stereotypical tropes to indigenous peoples that i am extremely glad i never published to the internet. although i think they're well written, the inclusion of some of these tropes aren't great at all and i would 100% change them.