Naur

i was joking about taylor swift being mskingbean but what the fuck is this

mr tell me a fucking secret???

tonks????

the Prank???

????post Azkaban????

marauders tweets pt 4

marauders tweets part 5 (small tw for joke suicidalness)

Regulus squeaks when James surprises him and you can't change my mind

James wraps his arms around his waist from behind? Squeak

James's hands are cold on his skin? Squeak

James tells him he's a good boy? Squeak

James kisses the back of his neck, pressing his hands into the dimples on his back? Squeak

James is going down on him and suddenly his fingers are pressing inside of him? Squeak

marauders tweets pt 3

Barty may have been fucking insane but he was also a genius who scored 12 O’s for OWLS without breaking a sweat

moonwater au where regulus is trans and his periods happen to occur around the full moon. when he befriends remus, remus immediately thinks that hes also a werewolf because of all the “signs” (ie being irritable and in pain around the full, refusing to change around others, knowing how to get blood stains out, etc)

and hes so excited to find someone else like him that he just sort of,,, tracks regulus down one day and is like “i know your secret” and regulus, thinking that remus figured out hes trans, freezes. he panics internally, his mind whirring with how much does he know? and who will he tell? but most of all, what lie can i tell that will be convincing enough for remus lupin to believe?

so when remus continues, saying “i know youre a werewolf too” regulus just sort of,,, goes with it. hes all “yup yup yup, totally a werewolf, thats my big secret, you caught me” and remus is just relieved that he finally has someone to talk about it with. because sure, he can complain to sirius and james and peter about the transformations, but its not the same as talking with someone who actually experiences it, who actually lives it.

and its when they start having these talks that regulus realizes that, funnily enough, being a trans man is not all that different from being a werewolf. when remus talks about looking in the mirror and seeing someone elses body, regulus gets it. and when regulus talks about the fear of losing your friends if they discover who you are, remus gets it too. its a weight off of both of their shoulders, having someone that relates so deeply to their experiences, and they start to become close. really close.

eventually remus starts acting different around him, small touches and lingering glances filling their time together, and regulus begins to feel guilty. immensely guilty. hes been deceiving remus, listening to him divulge his innermost secrets under false pretenses, and now remus has feelings for him. nevermind the fact that regulus returns said feelings, because thats irrelevant. after remus discovers hes been lying this whole time, about being a werewolf and about being a cis man, he wont want regulus anyways. and its not like he deserves his love, not with how cruel regulus is and how kind remus is.

then remus tries to kiss him, and regulus cant do it anymore. he starts crying and admits he was lying the entire time, that hes not a werewolf, that hes actually a trans man, and hell understand if remus doesnt want him anymore. remus is quiet for a moment out of pure shock before he just starts laughing. like folded over, belly-aching laughing. and regulus is internally panicking the entire time but remus just cant help it. he thinks back to every “sign” he ever noticed and cant believe that he missed this. finally he calms down just enough to collect himself and looks to regulus, who is still panicking, and says “i guess our times of the month arent quite so similar afterall”

regulus bursts into startled laughter and remus cant help but join him, but then tears of relief start clouding regulus’ eyes because he was so sure remus would hate him. so, so sure, but he doesnt and the relief is overwhelming. then remus pulls him into a tight hug, and he thinks maybe theyre alright.

REGULUS BLACK'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS BITING PEOPLE ‼️‼️

esppp when he's drunk. he just chomps onto the closest person. if he's sitting silently in a room with James, if they're both cuddling and he's reading a book, he'll just randomly chomps on James' cheek, arm, thigh whatever. And then if its, James he'll give it a little kiss but anyone else just *chomp*

sometimes he sneaks up on Sirius and just bites his shoulder and runs away

(based on a tiktok)

James: Isn't it so cute how our boyfriends have a little book club togeter?

Sirius: It's nice that they get along.

James: What do you suppose they read?

Sirius: Maybe Shakespeare? Honestly they're probably reading something so boring and over our heads, I'm just glad they aren't forcing us to read it too!

Meanwhile, Remus and Regulus, both reading the smuttiest smut that ever did smut.

spring - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 301

Regulus hated the heat. He hated the outdoors and the sun and anything that wasn't sitting in his dorm in a cozy overstuffed chair, reading a good book.

So when the weather started to become more mild and his friends started to request that they go outside, he was in a foul mood more often than usual.

Why did they have to sit in the annoyingly warm air? Why not in the cool castle, sheltered from the sun?

But he tagged along anyways, scowling all the while, curling at the base of a tree with his book, rolling his eyes when Barty made fun of him. Soon, he'd settled into his book well enough, though he wasn;t happy about it.

"Damn, Potter's looking fit."

Barty's comment made Regulus look up curiously. And, only thirty yards away, there he was: James Potter, loping over the ground with his friends, laughing and throwing a disk back and forth between himself and Sirius.

Of course, the disk was not what drew Regulus's attention.

In the heat, Potter had shed his cloak and his button-down shirt, leaving only his thin white undershirt, the tank top revealing his muscular arms as he caught and threw the piece of plastic.

Horribly, tantalizingly, the shirt slipped upward as Potter threw, revealing a thin sliver of tan skin, a dusting of hair on Potter's lower stomach drawing Regulus's eyes in a direction he had not meant for them to go.

And the think sheen of sweat over Potter's muscles made him almost shine in the sun, his smile and shouts of laughter making Regulus's stomach flip-flop even more than it already had been.

"He's...not bad," Regulus muttered, looking back down at his book, trying to calm his racing heartbeat.

Really, he realized, Spring wasn't all that bad.

Barty: Dorcas, my lovely little naive Dorcas, don’t date a gryffindor, don’t do that

Dorcas: Regulus is dating a gryffindor

Barty: Yes well Regulus belongs to a mental hospital

when james and regulus get married, they don’t tell anyone.

they’re both rich and pretentious and a bit snobby, so everyone expects them to have a massively expensive and well-planned ceremony. and initially, that’s what they were going to do.

and then one night they’re lying in bed together, and james turns over and says “let’s get married in the morning” and regulus, without missing a beat, says “okay.”

they get dressed up and head to the courthouse, recite their vows in a private room and sign the necessary papers, and then they go home. they cook and drink wine and have their first dance in their kitchen, illuminated by the golden glow of the setting sun, and it’s all perfect.

it’s all they need, and they don’t have to wait any longer for their forever.

cheat - @jegulus-microfic - 179

"He's a cheat, you know," a sixth-year Ravenclaw sneered at Regulus as he walked past in the library.

"Excuse me?" He asked, eyebrows raised in pretend-politeness.

"Potter. He doesn't love you. He's cheating on you with Evans," the Ravenclaw explained. "Not that you don't deserve it. With your background."

Normally, Regulus would have sneered at her. Told her to fuck right off. Send a well-aimed hex her way. But she'd hit a nerve with that one, and he felt his stomach turn to lead at the thought of James with someone else.

"Evans is with MacDonald, and you're a bitch," Barty declared, pushing in front of Regulus to wave his middle finger in front of the girl's nose. "And James Potter looks at Reg like he's a fucking angel. It's disgusting."

The girl opened her mouth to retort, but Barty pulled him away, both of them chuckling quietly.

"Does he really look at me like that?" Regulus asked softly as they sat at a far-away table.

"Yes. Now don't make me think about it or I'll gag," Barty replied.

The first time it happened James felt weak on his knees. Glassy grey eyes, pouty cherry lips trembling violenty. Deep frown sitting on that pretty, pretty face.

It was all wrong. James wanted to vanish it.

"Please, James," Regulus whispered softly. His eyes were swimming with tears.

"Love," James sighed, "We already have four cats."

"But, look at her," Reg begged, "She's lovely. And lonely. Poor little thing. I even named her. Rosie."

"Love--" James opened his mouth but shut it pretty quickly. Because tears were running down on Reg's cheeks now. Fuck, it was painful to look. James' heart shattered.

"Okay. Alright," James said too quickly. "Anything. We are keeping her. Please don't cry love."

Regulus blinked slowly clutching the tiny black kitten into his chest tightly. Rosie just sat there without a worry of the world. Quite cozy in his dad's hands. Seemed like she already loved Regulus. God, she even has grey eyes..

"Can we really keep her?"

"Yes, we can love."

Regulus smiled triumphly. With a cheeky grin he wipped away his tears and smirked lightly.

"Love!" James stepped forward, mouth wide open. "Oh my god, you can't do that."

"I didn't do anything." Regulus answered kissing the little cat.

"You fake cried." James complained with a pout.

Regulus laughed. It was like music for James' ears. God, his husband's beautiful. He might need to marry him again.

"Not my fault you fall for it every time."

And that's how the Black-Potter household end up with tiny kittens every time.

midnight, remus silently leaves sirius' room and is eye to eye with regulus who is leaving james' room

remus:

regulus

remus: silence agreement?

regulus: oui