hiatus
this blog is currently inactive -- holding this url for a possible revival.
I’m going through some vicious cycle of not being able to have a physical presence with friends and family and feeling guilty for it, but then I’ll be forced to confess my anxiety, fears, and insecurities the minute they see me ... and I’m too prideful to show that side of me. I just want to breath easy.
Maybe it’s selfish, but I can’t deal with exposing myself so vulnerably. And in some twisted motivation, I keep telling myself I don’t deserve to do or see anything fun like hanging out with friends or taking part in celebrations until I fix myself—- but it’s been so long, and I’m still stuck.
Please don’t hate me, please. I’m already hating myself.
Please wait for me.
----
And right after I wrote that, my dad came home with the prettiest flowers and cake for my birthday.
That, and the happy birthday messages, I really don’t think I deserve all the love I receive.
I’m really sorry everybody. Please wait for me.
Anybody who knows me, knows that I do
Late nights on my balcony, thinking of you
Source: SoundCloud / Yade Lauren
I’ll always regret not creating stronger relationships with people I’ve had the potential of being great friends with.
Relationship building just doesn’t come easy for me. Getting along with everybody is easy. Becoming close to one person is hard.
Digging up old poems in drafts and reposting, so I can showcase my writing a bit. I hope the timelines of the publishing doesn’t give anybody ideas.
“I’d rather test fate and let life run its course, I’m hoping we run full circle after missing our points.”
— (via @rosetintedwarrior)
“Love of my life, welcome back into mine. I’m hoping I find you, in my future this time.”
— (via @rosetintedwarrior)
“I know we’re not together, and I know we may never be. But I have a special spot for the way you treat me, and what I wish love ought to be.”
— (via @rosetintedwarrior)
I love my name the most when it comes out of your mouth.
rosetintedwarrior reblogged
Soon you’ll realize that many people will love the idea of you but will lack the maturity to handle the reality of you.
Reyna Biddy (via thelovejournals)
Source: thelovejournals.com
You may not be mine but you’re still my baby.
“No, I don’t miss you anymore,
I’m just haunted by the memories of being happy.
They replay in my head, on loop,
A never-ending movie of our best moments.
But the end credits never seem to scroll,
There’s no happy ending this time.
All I’m left with is this post-love trauma,
Traumatized by how you almost loved me.”
— via @rosetintedwarrior
#excerpts#excerpts from a book ill never write#words ill never tell you#spilled ink#prose#poem#poetry#writing#young poets#young writers#writers#girls in love#love#broken heart#feelings#emotions#confessions#ramblings#text#text post#words#spilled words#spilled heart#spilled feelings#I miss you#young love#heart break#quote#relationships#relatable
“Loving you, being me,
I no longer see the difference.
Tell me, how do I separate the two, when with every breath I take,
I feel like I’m falling deeper in love with you?
You cross my mind as often as my heart beats,
I picture your face whenever my eyes blink.
I don’t know how to dream sweets dreams without you in them,
There is no good night unless you are the last one I spend my day with.
Being without you weighs me down, like stubborn pounds I can’t seem to lose.
And only when I’m with you,
Do I feel lighthearted, beautiful, in the mood.”
— via @rosetintedwarrior
#excerpts from a book ill never write#words ill never tell you#spilled ink#writing#prose#poem#rhyme#poetry#young writers#young poets#young love#confessions#feelings#emotions#ramblings#post#text post#excerpts#spilled poems#spilled truth#spilled feelings#spilled words#spilled thoughts#letters#love letters#I miss you#love#broken heart#ink#quotes
I’ve always, always loved how easy it is to talk to you. That means a lot, coming from somebody like me, who doesn’t reach out to people on their own.
When I sit down and think about all the men who've been in my life, no matter how long, the memories are honestly so wild
You know? I think it's time. Time to get moving. Time to change. I've had my rest, but now it's time to get what I want. I've always trying to prove a point to other people, but now I have to prove this for myself.