Just Mikie

casting these before getting out of bed like buff spells before a raid boss

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

Acab because the people that made this meme thinks the cops should just kill someone like this

Cops having a chuckle because they’re too cowardly to take a beating in order to save a life. All cops are cowards.

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

If a flaming old queen in a cape wants to kill off racists in power I say have at it

That wasn’t even his plan!! His plan was to make the senator a mutant, so he’d have to advocate for mutants or be destroyed by his own policy, and tbh. It’s the best villain plan I’ve ever seen. The goo was the plan unexpectedly failing. 9/10 only bc he was going to kill Rogue. Next time use someone willing to sacrifice herself for the cause, pls. No further notes

I like how his plan in like real world terms, was to turn desantis gay but instead he exploded

like to charge reblog to cast tbh

having my evening cucumber

I offered a portion to this large and mannerly horse

noble steed uses her hands to manipulate

imagine sitting around outside doing nothing and suddenly a giant beast delicately places a cookie into your mouth

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

Tell your children about your medical history.

My ancestors died because they were born a long time ago

please? please? please?

can they like release new vegetables 

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

I'd leave. This is a sign that my opponent has the most fucked up unethical spells imaginable, and I am not about to be subject to Malchezar's Piercing Prostate Bomb or something