GODSPEED

revamping and actually bringing back this muse maybe! find me here: click (work in progress)

if anyone is still here and active, plz show urself or send me ur new blog so i can follow once i make my new muse!! 

( oh man...... i kinda wanna bring back this muse... maybe. maybe not. how many times have i said this already? )

funny, isn’t it? at first glance, the two of them could not be any more different. her, the classy yet cautious ballerina. the girl full of ambitions, and the talent to reach the stars. him, who is always looking for a thrill; chasing after death. reckless and without any kind of direction in his life. had fate not brought them together all those years ago, he was sure they would have never connected. and yet here they are (and at what cost). 

but as different as they are, they are also alike. two lost souls with their heads in the clouds and their minds full of problems. had they never met, casper is certain that her life would have been a lot easier. a lot more boring too, perhaps, but definitely a lot easier. to him, “boring” had always been one of the dirtiest words in the universe. no matter what the cost, the demigod would never settle for boring. but alas, this was not his life they were speaking of, and perhaps he should have known better but to ask her in the first place. 

but in spite of it all, he smiles. too tired to throw in yet another snarky remark. too tired to fool around. a glimpse of pain in his eyes; gone as soon as it had come. he deserved all of this and so much worse. it isn’t self-pity, it is the truth. the scariest part, however, is that it barely even gets to him. a dangerous combination for someone like him; one who is reckless should at least have some kind of fear to stop him from pushing too far (but not casper, not anymore). 

their hands touch, and the smile fades. it’s ironic how the simple gesture only has him feeling far, far more distant from her than before. these are feelings that he is not familiar with (if they can still be called that: feelings). truth is, he is more numb than anything. there is no use in answering her question. it won’t do anything for him. for her. at most, she could feel victorious. this was, after all, a battle that casper had lost.

but really; he couldn’t care less. 

and so he answers honestly. 

‘i never have any regrets. regrets are nothing but a waste of time. so no, i do not regret letting myself get close to you.’ if anything, haneul had been a gift. she had always given him second chances, even though he never took them on. always been by his side, even when he went off running again. always let him back in, even when he could barely stand on his feet and reeked of alcohol. she had been wonderful, and he had not deserved her. the least he could do is tell her that. tell her, and go. because that is the only thing left to do: to run. 

‘take care, haneul-ah.’ and with those words, he disappears.

here’s the thing about casper wang: nobody really understands the twisted ways in which his mind works. how he needs someone to stay by his side, but how he disappears just as easily. how he can leave without a trace, and come back without shame. without as much as a single explanation, or even the slightest bit of remorse. 

in his life, people come and go. he is very similar. care not about the world that doesn’t care about you, it’s really just that simple. his whole existence had been destined the moment hermes decided he couldn’t control his urges any longer. the deity had been gone before casper had been born into this world, and thus set the bar of his trust very, very low. 

and so, casper too, comes and goes as he pleases.

of course, this does not always go without consequences. good for the demigod, he has grown blind to the bigger part of those. as long as one keeps running, they will never really have to face it all--and that’s all he’s ever done. all he’s ever known. how to keep running. nobody ever told him he might come to regret it all. that there would be a day where his heart would feel so heavy, running would not be an option anymore. who could possible run with a burden as massive as the one he was carrying? it’s been slowing him down bit by bit. gradually, his feet started to stop moving as easily as they had always done, until he finally came to a halt. this is how an era ends. the era of casper wang, the invincible. 

it’s pathetic. irreversible. exactly what he deserved; what he had coming all along.

and yet he finds himself desperately staring at his screen, his heart skipping a beat when it finally lights up. his lips slowly curve into a smile. it’s about as honest a smile as his heart’s feelings are, but the messages are by far more than he had expected. a cruel message is still better than none, he tells himself, because he knows better than to wail in pity. because he knows son haneul, and he wouldn’t have deemed it beyond her to delete his messages without a second thought. it’s what she should have done. now she, too, has to deal with the consequences.

his feeble attempts at fooling around are not what they used to be, and perhaps that’s for the better. for once, all he wants is to talk to her. to listen to her words, her voice (but let’s be real, she’d never agree to meet up with him, would she?)

but alas, subtlety has never been his forte. it had been funny once; now, it probably was anything but. 

he falls silent then, slender digits clenching the phone until the color is drained from them. minutes pass. minutes that seem to last for hours and in which he carefully (not) considers the words he writes down next. 

1ST RULE: tag 9 muses you would like to know better. 2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

MUSE: Casper Wang FC: Nam Taehyun OCCUPATION: Mercenary (though seems to be rather jobless nowadays)  AGE: 25 SEXUALITY:  bisexual PRONOUNS: he / him

APPEARANCE:

PERSONALITY:

ABILITY:

HOBBIES:

EXPERIENCES:

RELATIONSHIPS:

MY LIFE:

RANDOM SHIT:

Tagged by: @etheneos Tagging: i don't know who's active anymore, but feel free to consider yourself tagged 

It's been a while since Casper had been able to stop running; from anything, really. From his enemies, from his problems, hell, even from himself. Yet there he was, calmer than anyone would be likely to remember. It is not often that the demigod does not seek for trouble or some other form of excitement. And yet, while his legs are dangling freely into the dangerous heights of the world, it almost seems as if he had never been a nuisance to begin with. It's exactly this behaviour that should be ringing all different kinds of alarm bells. A quiet Casper is either a dangerous Casper, or a broken one. At this point, who could tell? The guy is a ticking time bomb, waiting patiently for that one little thing that's going to push him over the edge--in whatever direction that might be. 

The most terrifying detail? He is sober. Why? Only the gods may know. The last year had passed in a whiff, and perhaps this was the only way to catch up with it. With all that had happened, and all that had been lost. Baekhyun makes it oh-so easy to throw in a witty comment or too; makes it so easy to fall back into his old patterns. But he doesn't. He's distracted; doesn't even know why he is still sitting with the elder. In a way, he guesses, it is soothing. Calming--but only this once. 

‘Who said anything about saving myself? Nothing could ever possibly harm me; yourself included.’ These words are as much like his old self as it will get. They still ring with that same old cockiness he would always bask around in, but his expression doesn't quite follow up. ‘Heroes are just as overrated as vampires, anyways.’ And there you have it. No matter how far gone, Casper wouldn't be Casper if he didn't at least throw out an insult or two. After all, these comments had always been part of his core. 

CHARACTER STATS.

(bold all that applies. italicize leaning. strike former)

WEALTH  —

$   financial.  //  wealthy  / moderate / poor /  in poverty ✚  medical.  //  fit  /  moderate  /  unfit  /  sickly /  disadvantaged  /  disabled  /  not applicable ✪  class.  //  upper  / middle-working /  poor  /  slave  /  unsure ✔  education.  //  qualified /  unqualified  / studying /  other  /  none ✖  criminal record.  //  yes, for major crimes  / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

FAMILY  —

◒  children.  // has one or more children / has no children / wants children ◑  relationship with family.  // close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no sibling(s) / siblings are deceased ◔  affiliation.  //   orphaned  /  adopted  / disowned (runaway) / raised by birth parent(s) /  not applicable

TRAITS  +  TENDENCIES  —

♦  extrovert //  introvert  // in between ♦  disorganized //  organized  // in between ♦  close-minded  //  open-minded //  in between ♦  calm // anxious // in between ♦ disagreeable //  agreeable  // in between ♦ cautious // reckless (!!!!!) // in between ♦  patient //  impatient  // in between ♦  outspoken //  reserved  //  in between ♦  leader //  follower  // in between ♦  empathetic  //  indifferent  // in between ♦  optimistic  //  pessimistic  // in between ♦  traditional  // modern  // in between ♦ hardworking  //  lazy  // in between ♦  cultured  //  uncultured  // in between ♦  loyal  //  disloyal  // in between ♦  faithful // unfaithful  // in between

BELIEFS  —

★  faith.  //  monotheist  / polytheist  / atheist  / agnostic / it’s complicated / N/A ☆  belief in ghosts or spirits.  // yes /  no / don’t know / don’t care ✮  belief in an afterlife.  //  yes  / no  / don’t know / don’t care / it’s complicated ✯  belief in reincarnation.  // yes  /  no /  don’t know  / don’t care / it’s complicated ❃  belief in aliens.  // yes  / no  /  don’t know / don’t care ❀  philosophical.  //  yes  / no  /  sometimes

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION  —

♦  sexuality.  /  heterosexual  /  homosexual  / bisexual /  asexual  / pansexual /  demisexual  / questioning ❥  sex.  //  sex repulsed  / sex neutral / sex favorable ♥  romance.  //  romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable ❣  sexually.  // adventurous  /  experienced /  naive  /  inexperienced  /  curious  /  inhibited ⚧  potential sexual partners.  // male / female  /  other  /  none  / all ⚧  potential romantic partners.  // male  /  female /  other  /  none  / all

ABILITIES  —

☠  combat skills.  //  excellent  / good  / moderate /  poor  / none ≡  literacy skills.  // excellent  /  good  /  moderate /  poor  /  none ✍  artistic skills.  //  excellent  /  good /  moderate  / poor /  none ✂  technical skills.  // excellent  / good  /  moderate  /  poor  /  none

HABITS  —

❣ drinking alcohol.  //  never  / sometimes / frequently /  to excess ✖ smoking.  //  never /  sometimes  /  frequently  / to excess ✿ other narcotics.  //  never  /  sometimes /  frequently  /  to excess ≡ medicinal drugs.  //  never  /  sometimes  /  frequently  / to excess ☻ indulgent in food.  // never /  sometimes /  frequently  / to excess $  splurge spending.  // never /  sometimes  /  frequently  /  to excess ♣  gambling.  // never  /  sometimes /  frequently  /  to excess

tagged by: @pullstrings​ ( thank uuuu ) tagging: anyone reading this. i been gone for so long i don’t even know who to tag anymore lmao.

baudellare:

It’s too much. Between his dedication to get Haneul to listen to him and the whirlwind of mindless thoughts clogging up his head, everything is happening far too fast for him to comprehend. Irony was once his friend, but it seems that these days it has brought him nothing but trouble—or perhaps that is karma, finally ready to kick his ass. Hard. For all the times he’s managed to run; for all the times he laughed in the face of danger and all the times in which he outsmarted all things dark and doom, karma has gotten to him, too. This battle is not one from which he can run, but one that he’ll have to chase, and he cannot do that when he cannot focus. 

Why is this nagging stranger trying so very hard to get on his last nerve?

He loses his grip for a split second, but it is enough for her to break free. Louder and louder the voices seem to grow inside of his head. They’ve got him caught up entirely, no matter how hard he tries to fight them ( he doesn’t stand a chance—not anymore ).

‘Haneul-ah.’

There is no saying how he could have possibly missed the ways in which his actions had hurt her, whether they be on purpose or not. He doesn’t even flinch when the watch breaks or when she turns her back to him once more. No. On the contrary; he remains frozen in place for about a second or three, and then finally,

finally,

he snaps.

It isn’t Haneul. It’s him. The stranger. The way in which he has the audacity to order him around and to paint him a monster. Who exactly does he think he is? ‘I’m taking her with me, can’t you see?’ Teeth clenched, he tries his best to look the man straight into his eyes, hands blindly reaching for the ballerina another time. ‘This is none of your business, so stay out of it.’

It doesn’t matter if he is her friend.

It doesn’t matter if she hates him.

It doesn’t matter if none of this makes sense to either of them, or if it makes sense to Casper.

He needs her. There is nothing or nobody he can think of that can replace the thought of her, and Casper always gets what he wants. What little sense of logic and empathy he had left, it all has evaporated into a black hole of desperation. Whoever this guy is, she shouldn’t be with him, too—and so he pulls. Again. Fixates his eyes on hers this time, his expression swinging between irritation, confusion and fear. 

‘Don’t go with him. I really need to talk to you. Don’t go. Come with me.’

LITERATURE QUIZZES: repost with your muse’s results for the following quizzes.

HOMERIC EPITHET :   You are bright-eyed Casper. Homer also used this epithet to describe Athena, the goddess of things like wisdom, diplomacy, war, and arts and crafts. Athena was the patron of Odysseus and helped him out of some tough spots, except for those times she just didn’t feel like it for some reason or another.

FATAL FLAW  :   Your brutal honesty. You’re blunt. You’re outspoken. Frankly, you’re kind of a jerk. But you get away with it because you’re usually right and also because you’re indispensable to the major plot. But honestly? It’s going to come back to haunt you. One of these days, you’re going to be TOO honest. You’re going to refuse to lie at a critical juncture, upholding your honorable caustic truthfulness, and you’re going to pay the ultimate price for it.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY DEATH  :   Killed by a wild boar that was sent by one of the gods. See, here’s the thing—someone sent that wild boar. It might have been Artemis, because she was jealous of your skill with a bow and arrow; it might have been Ares, who hated you; or it might have been Apollo, because your girlfriend blinded his son. There’s really no telling. You made enemies. This is just what happens when you’re too beautiful to even exist. Either way, you got mauled by a pig and are now dead, but you died in Aphrodite’s arms as she wept, so at least you've got that going for you.

LITERARY SETTING  :   You got Hogwarts! We all wish we were Hogwarts students, but you seriously belong there. You’re a quirky, creative, and magical person, and you were born to wander Hogwarts’ expansive grounds, use its secret passageways to sneak into Honeydukes, and take whimsical Hippogriff rides into the sunset. Just imagine walking past the Room of Requirement with Sunday brunch on your mind (brunch food + Hogwarts magic=RIDICULOUS foodstagrams). You'll need to look out for trolls, giant spiders, basilisks, cursed necklaces, evil students, booger-flavored beans, etc, but in the words of the late, great Sirius Black, what's life without a little risk? 

tagged by:  @riotingvines thank u (also i can’t believe we had no matching ones this time) tagging:   @baudellare @theaftrparties @21jumpshin @00ksy @dahliancgra @eterneli @iceur @vuotriste @resuescitate @consilian @numberxix