I made this for my valentine

the bar is very low happy little onion, so please work your magic

I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such

pronouns: hee/hee

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

His ghost is setting those cars on fire actually

I hadn’t really considered “the agnostic demigod of electromagnetism is the reason Musk’s companies fail” before, but I like the concept. 

Let’s help him out. Likes charge, reblogs cast

Moses Supposes

Running into this on my dash was like running into an old friend

Thats just what theater kids are like

What I’ve always loved about this bit is

a. this musical number comes completely out of nowhere, with no greater context than what this video captures; and

b. the language instructor clearly can’t hear the music. He’s not from Musical Theatre Land. From his perspective, a couple of twinkle-toed weirdos just randomly decided to physically abuse him for three solid minutes. This isn’t reading anything that’s not intended into the scene – it’s literally the central gag.

@thebibliosphere in case you need some ridiculous Singin’ in the Rain on your dash.

(P.S. I imagined you making the faces at the instructor and it was hilarious)

I can but aspire to the level of expressiveness Cosmo Brown has with his face.

If you have ADHD and a manic episode this is what your brain does

can’t

“Excuse me,” I say. “I have a class in quantum mechanics in half an hour. How do I get to the physics building?”

“Oh,” the registrar says, “that’s easy. You just need to take a right here, and then to get into the building you jump fifty feet into the air.”

“…I can’t do that.”

“Are you sure? Have you tried?”

“I’ve tried jumping before, yes–”

“And you jumped higher when you tried harder, right?”

“Well, yes–”

“So are you really sure you don’t just need to try even harder?”

“Look, I don’t know exactly how high is the most I can jump, but I promise you, no matter how hard I try, I am not going to jump fifty feet in the air. I literally can’t.”

“Excuse me,” I say. “How do I get to the physics building?”

“Oh, that’s easy. You just need to levitate to reach the door.”

“…I can’t do that.”

“Have you tried?”

“That is not a capability I have. There is no action I can take which would even constitute trying. I literally cannot levitate.”

“Excuse me. How do I get to the physics building?”

“It’s right down this path. But the mad science building does give off some fumes, so you will need to hold your breath for ten minutes on the way there.”

“…I can’t do that.”

“Have you tried?”

“Sure. I can only hold my breath for, like, two minutes maximum before I have to start breathing again.”

“You know, you say you have to, but it seems more like you just get uncomfortable and choose to start breathing again. I think you just need to learn to put up with a little discomfort.”

“…that’s not really–”

“Are you saying that you can’t grit your teeth and put up with the discomfort and keep holding your breath when you want to stop?”

“–I mean, yes, I can do that, but–”

“So what’s the problem? Sometimes people have to do things they don’t like. That’s not the same as not being able to do them.”

“I literally cannot hold my breath for ten minutes!”

“Excuse me. How do I get to the physics building?”

“It’s right across that tightrope.”

“…I can’t walk a tightrope.”

“You’re being ridiculous. Look at that girl walking it right now. Which of the things that she’s doing are you unable to do?”

“…walk … a …. tightrope?”

“Are you saying that you can’t put one foot in front of another?”

“Walking a tightrope involves balancing!”

“Oh, so you’re saying you can’t shift your weight from one side to the other?”

“I’m saying I literally cannot walk a tightrope!”

“Excuse me. How do I get to the physics building?”

“It’s just through that pit of ravenous crocodiles.”

“…I can’t get through a pit of ravenous crocodiles.”

“I saw you do it just the other day!”

“Right, yes, when I tripped and fell into the pit of ravenous crocodiles, I did manage to sprint across to the ladder and climb out without getting eaten–”

“So you admit you can do it.”

“I did it once.”

“Is there some reason that you won’t be able to do it next time?”

“I might be able to do it next time! I don’t know for sure! But my physics class meets three times a week, I’m going to get eaten by the end of adds-drops! I cannot cross a pit of ravenous crocodiles!”

“Excuse me. How do I get to the physics building?”

“Through the field of eternal fire.”

“…I can’t cross the field of eternal fire.”

“Really? Are you sure you don’t just need to try harder?”

“I am pretty sure I can’t cross the field of eternal fire, yes.”

“I bet if you really wanted to you could. What if the world depended on you crossing it?”

“…if the world depended on me crossing it, I would try, but I would end up covered in third-degree burns and with my feet burned off and on fire and dying.”

“So you admit you can cross it.”

“No! I cannot cross the field of eternal fire!”

“Excuse me. How do I get to the physics building?”

“It’s right across the street.”

“The gate’s locked.”

“Yeah, you just need to unlock it.”

“…I can’t.”

“All you need to do is push buttons. You’re perfectly capable of pushing buttons.”

“I don’t know the combination! I cannot unlock the gate!”

I thought at first that this was about classism (just tell the poor to make more money! problem solved!). Then I thought it was about fatphobia (just tell fat people to lose weight! problem solved!). Then I realized it was about accessibility (just tell the disabled to do the thing they literally can’t do! problem solved!).

The fact that this represents so many different problems in our society Means Something.

"Why are there so many female archers in fiction?"

Please forgive the clickbait-y title! This is a super complex and interesting topic that I barely scratch the surface of here, but I hopefully will be able to do more justice to things like this in the future!

Also, it's not the point of the video, but I had fun with the outfits in this- do you have any faves?

As always, please consider supporting me on Patreon if you can, or watching on youtube if not!

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

What appeals to me about whump: an incomplete list

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

@delphinidin4​

This man took so much longer to crack than I would have what a PROFESSIONAL

Plotting, scheming, etc.

This was filmed at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which rescues, rehabilitates, and releases orphaned elephants in Kenya (among other conservation efforts). Charity Navigator has given it a 4/4 star rating, and you can make donations here or “adopt” a baby elephant here.

THANK YOU FOR THIS IMPORTANT ADDITION.

I have enjoyed this video so much and am very happy to share ways to help the babies!!

That man held it in until he knew for a fact that they’d need another take anyway, and not a moment less.

okay but I like to imagine the elephant (which is highly emotionally sensitive) realizing the seriousness of the conversation and the emotional toil and deciding “nah, this ain’t it.”

I love how once he cracks and turns to look, the elephant casually messes with the plant as if to say, “What? I wasn’t doing anything…”

Okay. I’ve been trying for two days to figure out how to write this post, and I think I’m just going to write it.

You know that tiktok about the girl who felt a draft coming from behind her bathroom mirror and discovered there was an entire empty apartment back there? Well, something like that happened to me on Tuesday night, and it’s even weirder.

I was cleaning out my closet, because the place looks like a bomb went off and there’s no room to stuff anything else into it. So I was pulling things out, absolutely surrounded by boxes of clothes that don’t fit me anymore but might fit me sometime and hats that I bought and never wear and a million finished and half-finished crochet projects… and I realized that there is a piece of plywood on the side wall of my closet that I’ve never really noticed before. At my parents’ house there was a similar piece of plywood in the coat closet, because it’s the entrance to the stairs to the attic, which doesn’t have a floor, just bare joists. This one seemed to be barred in place with a piece of two-by-four on a nail, just like at my parents’ house, so I turned it, and sure enough, I could pull off the board.

Folks. FOLKS. There’s a stairway. A stairway that goes down and then begins to curve and disappears into the darkness. And here’s the part where it gets REALLY weird. Because I know for a fact that that side of my closet is an outside wall. If you go outside and look up, you can see that just a foot or two past my bedroom window is the end of the apartment building. There is no space for this stairway to BE.

I really don’t know what to do. Even with the board back in place, it’s creeping me out having that door inside my closet: every time I go to bed at night I imagine someone creeping up that stairway from god-knows-where and–I don’t know, stabbing me in my sleep?? What do you think I should do?

My ask box is open, and you can leave comments in the notes. I don’t have any followers on this blog yet, so I’m hoping somebody will see this post who will have good suggestions for me?

My roommates just got back from a con in Philadelphia! Callie has always adored The Little Mermaid, and she got the chance to meet Jodi Benson, voice of the animated Ariel! @spark-of-jenius made her an entire costume. She got the sewing pattern, started putting it together, and realized that the pattern was sized wrong and the waist size was TWENTY INCHES off what it was supposed to be! But she’s such a good costumer that she managed to remake the pattern to make it all work and look amazing.

1. Callie with Jodi Benson and our friend ( @spark-of-jenius​ also modified the Elsa costume and made the magic effect she’s holding! More Elsa photos at the bottom of the post.) 2-3. Callie with other Ariels! 4. Wheelchair decor! Also by @spark-of-jenius​ 5. The full dress. Please note the slash-and-puff sleeves! 6. The underskirt. Iridescent fish scales, and a layer of gauzy iridescent bubbles overtop! 7. Lining of the sleeves. She just had to. lol 8. Embellishment 9. Painted and embellished shoes 10. Bejeweled dinglehopper!

More Elsa photos!

it so beautiful….. ꒰ •̩̩̩́ ᴗ •̩̩̩̀ ꒱ from the sparkling scales to the tiny seashells

Surprised she didn’t sneak in a bit of mermaid-tail peeking from under her skirt =p (the chair customization is delightful!)

Oh, I thought about it. But she was determined to stand in the photo with Jodi Benson, and a tail would have added a layer of difficulty to navigate, so we opted not to do it, and I spent some time camoflaging the crutches instead.  I’m so glad everyone likes the cosplay, though. It was a labor of love. And how I’ll top it next time I do not know, lol.

Brennan Lee Mulligan my beloved

My tiny mind blown