• To really feel more confident and to get a clearer vision of how, establish what things in life your most confident version of yourself would have. What would they look like? How would they carry themselves or do things differently from you now? Create a vision board or write it down so you can understand what exactly you want and start working towards that right now.
• Confidence is more than appearance. Which means if you feel you’re not enough, can’t achieve a certain goal, or succeed in life then that’s what your subconscious (inner critic) is going to keep feeding you. You have to feel, believe and know you can do anything you put your mind to in which, you can. Don’t let bad thoughts keep you from what you’re already destined for. Reprogram your subconscious beliefs. Try to be more optimistic.
• Practice and preach self assured and positive affirmations everyday, multiples times a day. If you have to write them down on a sticky note and post them on a mirror or wall, do it. If you have to set some as your locksceen, do it. When saying affirmations, always say them in present tense. Examples; “I am successful in everything i do.” “There is power within me.” “I ask, I believe, I receive.” “My confidence knows no limit.” “I am beautifully made.” Being consistent in saying affirmations is steps of many to uplifting and boosting your confidence.
• Stop comparing yourself to others, grow compare yourself to the person you was yesterday and how you can be better today. Everyday is a new day, a new start, use that to its fullest. Instead, look up to people that inspire you to learn and make you want to be your best self.
• Have plenty of “me” time or moments where you spend time alone. Learning to be more comfortable in your own skin and get to know who you really are as a person is really important. It gives you time to learn how to be more in tune with yourself. Eat out alone, meditate, treat yourself to things that’ll make you feel better about you or at your best—skincare, makeup, clothes, plants, books. As well as taking needed breaks from social media. Which helps to clear your mind, give yourself a break and focus on tasks without distractions.
• Speak kindly of yourself (reframe from negative talk), smile more, be kind to others, be softer on yourself and not to hard by focusing on solutions to problems and not all the bad of it. Stay away from negative people and things that could lower you vibrations or bring you out of character.
• Don’t let outside validation value who you are nor seek it. Ignore outside opinions that don’t enhance your life.
• Take steps in working on your presence and mimick the “confident posture.” If you walk and act like you got it like that, that’s what others around you is going to see as well as how you would feel. Examples; walk with your head held high, eye contact, compliment people, be more assertive and speak up and speak clearly when you talk etc. The saying “fake it to you make it!” is to act like something you are not, yet but you can become it if you put in the work.
• Create personal boundaries, first step is to learn how to say no when you’re really saying yes. Challenge yourself everyday and push your self to grow. Set a small goal at first, achieve it and repeat. Getting out your comfort zone and facing your fears is the biggest goal of all and is very life changing. Accomplishing something you was scare to do and it turning out better than expected, is the most satisfying thing and raises your confidence times ten. Understand that once your mind is set on something, you can be successful at it everytime. Also understand that if you run into a setback, it’s only a matter of time before you bounce back.
• Confidence is not everyone liking you. It is feeling good about yourself, not needing approval & knowing you’re the “it girl” whether someone like you or not.
• Lastly, remember to always be your authentic self and to know no one is better or more deserving than you. You have your own uniqueness, energy, and personality. No one is you or can be you, embrace that!

“People will love you, people will hate you, and none of it will have anything to do with you.”

Happy 11th Anniversary Tangled!

AMRIT KAUR as BELA MALHOTRA in THE SEX LIVES OF COLLEGE GIRLS