New Crow Time 🐦‍⬛🦊🌟

If this post gets 5k notes by February 1st, I’ll do something cool

Like a backflip

And I’ll film it

Edit: I’m changing it from 5k to 1k because 5k is just too unrealistic

If I do somehow get 5k though, I’ll do something even cooler

Like two backflips

Edit again: for everyone who saw the “100 billion notes for 3 backflips” thing, I’ll be extending the challenge date to my birthday(August 18). If this post doesn’t have 100,000,000,000 notes by then, the challenge will officially be over. Good luck everyone!

I have been fired from my job and I am unemployed. I put everything I had into working at this place, did everything they asked of me, and moved to a new city to work here. They terminated me with no severance pay. I'll post more positivity content once I mentally recover from all this, please do not worry about me, I'll always be alright, I just need some time to sort this out

Fish I'm so sorry

I have been fired from my job and I am unemployed. I put everything I had into working at this place, did everything they asked of me, and moved to a new city to work here. They terminated me with no severance pay. I'll post more positivity content once I mentally recover from all this, please do not worry about me, I'll always be alright, I just need some time to sort this out

The feature isn’t being removed for everyone at the same time. The contract Tumblr has with whoever the fuck it is ended on December 23 (I’m pretty sure at least) so it’ll be removed for everyone in the (hopefully) near future also happy new year

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

Reblogging for the last addition

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

it didn’t look enough like a Real Hospital so I fixed it :)

I’m at a loss for words

people say tumblr only has one joke but this post clearly shows that we have two

The thing I kept saying in therapy was: "This really sucks, but all it does is suck. This would have killed me five, even two years ago, but all it does now is suck. It's a weird sort of consolation, being the kind of person that I would have regarded as a Saint Of Having Their Shit Together not that long ago. If you were to put it in terms of "how do you feel out of 10?" Back then I was a negative four, and I've made so much progress. I just wish it felt better than zero."

happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)

Happy birthday, every horse in the northern hemisphere!

Mutuals get a lot of love on this site but I think we should also appreciate the random followers who you see in your notes regularly. The ones who you'll probably never end up following but they like and reblog almost every post you make. The ones who you see and go "hey I recognize that person!! they love my posts!" every time they show up in your notifications.

Let's hear it for Blorbo from my Notes.

i think a lot of you don't want to call schizophrenia or personality disorders or plurality disorders "neurodivergent" because you still demonize them in your heads

Not my white ass locked in the duke’s dungeon again because I fucked his favorite jester 😩

I didn’t know he was so territorial over the silly little guy 🙄

Pro Tip: Avoid this in the future by inviting the king to your chambers and presenting the situation as;

" Just warming him up for a surprise threesome. You looked so stressed, sire, so let us help you relax."

Ah, but I said the king, my good wizard!

If you get the king in on this, the duke can do nothing without risking insulting his monarch.

This could not possibly backfire!

In fact, I'll go perform this right now and report back my success shortly.

Dungeon

Welcome to the club

surely the duke can’t catch all of us????

Gonna try hitting up the jester when the duke goes out for another raid and report with results 👍

Dungeon.

Wow. I don't respect anyone in this thread.

feels like somebody’s mad they didn’t get the chance to fuck the duke’s favorite jester

Make a pass at the jester and there’s always a chance

That you’ll be be doing that old “chained in the dungeon” dance

I was inspired