best part of today's dracula daily is jonathan describing with pinpoint accuracy how it feels to pull an all-nighter. 'i'm not sleepy! anyway this is how dying people feel when they let go of their grip on life and shuffle off this mortal coil i think'

His strength is that he is biscuits

For my fellow massholes

Dracula tricking Johnathan into staying up all night and sleeping all day to hide the fact he’s a vampire while simultaneously running around the castle like a headless chicken whenever Johnathans not looking to pretend that he has servants is the funniest fucking thing ever. Second funniest thing is that Johnathan is not even remotely suspicious about any of this

APAWTHECARIA by Stout Stoat Press

some of the illustrations I contributed to my friends’ solo-journaling game, Apawthecaria. you can pre-order the Ist printing now for fullfillment in June!

rupaul trying to redeem himself anonymously on tumblr

“it’s all for the mission”… no, loid, you’re a girldad now | SPY X FAMILY

from january

How do you bitches keep getting trapped in time loops. It's not even hard to get out

How do you bitches keep getting trapped in time loops. It's not even hard to get out

How do you bitches keep getting trapped in time loops. It's not even hard to get out

Killer Whale

not sure which is funnier: dracula just straight up throwing a mirror from the window because jonathan saw he doesn't have a reflection, or jonathan, who has just witnessed that his host has no reflection, only reacting to this by saying "but how am i supposed to shave now??? :("

Dracula: you can go everywhere except through the doors which are locked :3

Jonathan: okay!!

Jonathan the next day, realising the count has locked him in the castle:

This innocuous post was in the dracula daily tag, untagged, no mention of draculas or days, so I think its safe to assume Tumblr's search function has determined that "emails" are a thing you get from your friend Jonathan and Jonathan alone.

is he... you know... [mimes committing murder against other knights for fun] an orkney?

who gave this child a gun spear 

my pitch for the next best king arthur adaptation

Redraw of this in honor of a very old book trending

Very delighted to see more people treating Dracula as a comedy