@flute-jesus / flute-jesus.tumblr.com
Hey yall it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on this blog, mainly because I haven’t done band in college (shame on me lol) but anyways I’m considering auditioning for this coming year (the chancellor thinks we’ll be back on campus this fall). Thoughts? Advice?
piano forte ... the original dynamic duo
Thanks for the early morning chuckle but also I hate piano fortes with a passion
As a flute player your header image made me want to cry
Why..... That is how one does the flute
Hello! I was wondering if you could help me with the third register? I feel like I'm blowing too aggressively for a sound to come out correctly, but I reach that point going up the scales to it
You definitely shouldn’t be blowing aggressively ever on the flute, but most band directors don’t know enough about flute to teach that. Work on building a secure and stable embouchure in the lower registers by bending the pitches up and down, slurring scales, and long tones. Only move up to the third register for short periods of time, and keep that embouchure you’ve built up. Work on opening your throat by raising your soft palate like you’re yawning. Make sure there is plenty of room inside your mouth and throat and you don’t want your lips or mouth dry because it will make the airflow choppy and gross. Also practice your long tones looking in a mirror and shoot for creating a pizza slice shaped condensation mark on the lip plate. That’s where your embouchure should be.
"Why did the conductor give such an important part to the flutes" once said our band teacher as we five flutes wept behind the twelve saxes
Fuckin mood ngl
daily
Bold of you to assume we can count past four
noob-o Nuvo TooT ($24.99)
Perhaps this better suits your ability level.
*includes a Firstnote™ lip plate, which will help you blow into the flute successfully
Practice Book for the Flute Omnibus by Trevor Wye ($28.00)
Even your abysmal technique can improve quickly with daily practice (this means practicing every day) of these helpful exercises. Some of them are a bit challenging at first, so don’t be scared to play them as slow as you require. Eventually, you should be able to play them in every key, which can be a bit daunting at first (sharps are scary), but I’m sure you’ll get there.
MetroTuner ($28.40)
Don’t worry, when I was five, I too had trouble staying in tune and in time. This handy little gadget will help you do the things that are sort of the minimum required of any musician.
Flute flag ($33.50)
Given your muffled tone and sloppy runs, it is possible that your saliva has leaked into the pads and mechanism of your flute. Don’t worry, this is easily fixable, just remember to actually clean out your flute after practice. Yes, it only takes a few minutes to swab out your flute and be like the big, grown-up flutists you look up to. This flute flag will especially help you to clean out the filthy unreachable areas in your headjoint!
Brannen Kingma System Flute ($22,780.00)
You’re itching to play some more experimental music, right? After all, why else would all your notes be out of tune to the point that they sound like quarter-tones?
I could have bought a car with this amount of money, but instead I’m investing it all in you. Consider it a blessing, because a starving musician like yourself would likely be in debt for the rest of your life if you bought an instrument of this caliber. You’ll need some small amount of money to survive, some small amount of money to pay for an education at a conservatoire full of much more skilled people than you, transport to auditions which you always fail, and dry-cleaning for suits that you wear at gigs to create a façade of professionalism. At some point you may give up and just start teaching, passing down your crappy technique onto the next generation. At least then you’ll be able to hold this masterpiece of an instrument in your hands and remember me, the person who had enough money to blow on all these passive aggressive gifts, but not enough decency to give you useful, constructive criticism.
Update on seducing flute guy: I asked him on a date, we went and had a good time, and he agreed to a second date. We also played Megolovania together so I would say it's going well. :)
Hell yea get some!
Tips for doing the embrochure? I can't seem to do it :(
So interesting fact about me: I couldn’t make a sound come out of my flute for the first like six months of me having it. So basically when I did start making sound my embouchure had developed incorrectly. Instead of one happy little pie shaped condensation thing I had two, which basically means I was blowing two streams of air. I took a couple flute lessons and my teacher helped me fix it, and now my embouchure is perfectly normal. Basically what she had me do was play long tones with different air stream “sizes,” like she’d have me visualize playing through a coffee stirrer and then a McDonald’s straw and then have me switch between them with increasing speed. She also had me do a lot of slurred octave jumps to solidify my embouchure. And really the main thing is practice. Your face isn’t used to using those muscles and it takes time and patience to strengthen them.
Hey how do you seduce a flute guy (this French horn gal needs a guide) (ps I'm gonna start taking flute lessons from him so that's a start right)
First off congrats on finding a flute guy they are exceedingly rare (my band has 18 flutes and only one guy). Flute lessons are an excellent start. Some flute guys are petty and some are super chill, if petty, proceed with pettiness, if chill then humor is always my go-to (I’m a lil ugly tho so I gotta rely on humor for everything).
Is there a east coast flute deity? You seem to be midwest flute deity; @flutejesus is north pacific flute deity. Do y'all have conferences or something?
That’s a good question… @ the flute deities do we have anyone at the North Pacific???
@flutejesus @flute-jesus @flutegod @flute-saraswati @piccolojesus and whoever I missed
I'm in NC
Reblog to have a productive 2019
Long time no post but last night was my last winter concert of high school, I had four solos, and it was also my birthday. Someone (in my section no less smh) told the band director that they should sing happy birthday to me and my brother but luckily bd knows me well enough and said that he won’t because I’d never talk to him again lmao. Anyhow we have pictures today and I make $15 off of everyone who hasn’t gotten their uniform dry cleaned per the bd because of my uniform committee sufferings.
I HAVE TO VENT BECAUSE YESTERDAY WAS MT HIGH SCHOOL HOLIDAY CONCERT AND I HAD MY FLUTE ON ITS STAND WHILE I WAS PLAYING PICC AND A SAX K N O C K E D I T O V E R. my flute is fine BUT IM PISSED
Saxes think they're sexy combos of woodwind and brass but really they're just beings of pure chaos.
Hello again! Its the anon who's band is at the (very cold) play offs! Half the band is wearing pajamas under their bibbers! Our bodies are over heating while our hands are ice! Our school is playing just the opening part of crazy train on repeat bc they're crazy! This'll be fun!!! (Jk this is actual hell reincarnate)
Rip tbh it’s just the Band Experience lmao
