••••••
By most standards the mission was a complete success; everyone made it out alive, and you completed your objective.
You considered the mission a success, Ghost, however, did not.
This was extremely evident to everyone who was sitting in the plane on the flight back to base. Ghost barely said a word to anyone as the medic worked to patch you and Soap up, Soap taking priority due to the gunshot wound in his stomach.
You knew Ghost blamed himself for the two of you getting hurt, it was on his watch that it happened after all.
You could see the way he watched his friend as the medics did what they could to stabilize him, the large blood stain on the floor seeming to hold most of his attention from where he sat along the wall.
He made the call for you and Soap to go in even though the building hadn't been cleared, he blamed himself for Soap getting shot and being so close to death that you swore you could see the reaper looming over him. He blamed himself for you getting into a close-quarters fight with a man twice your size while trying to protect the young sergeant, the fight leaving you unconscious on the floor with a large gash on your head.
Gaz and Ghost made it inside the building and found you pressing your hands to Soap’s bleeding gut, you were still in a daze from having blacked out and blood was dripping down your face as you began to panic. The man on the ground bleeding too much for you to stop with your bare hands.
Ghost went into soldier mode and focused solely on getting his injured teammates out safely.
It wasn't until you all loaded up in the evac plane that he shut down and blocked everyone out.
The second the plane landed you and Soap were rushed to the infirmary, he was taken back to surgery while you were sent to get your head stitched up.
You spent a couple of hours in the medical wing while they ran several different tests on you, all of which confirmed you were severely concussed.
Ghost hadn't been seen by anyone since the plane landed, it was Price who came and told you that Soap was gonna be alright and it was Gaz who came to keep you company while the doctors finished up their tests and eventually walked you back to your room.
You were exhausted when you finally crawled into bed.
The pounding in your head wasn't the only thing keeping you awake though, you were worried about Soap and you were worried about Ghost.
You had seen him shut down like this on a few different occasions, in the days following he would disappear from the base, no one knew where he went except Price but he would never tell anyone.
You expected not to see your fellow lieutenant for the next few days, it was normal.
What you didn't expect was to get a knock at your door at nearly three in the morning only to find him standing on the other side.
“Ghost?” You furrowed your brows and looked up at the masked man while leaning heavily on the doorframe, your body feeling like it was rocking back and forth as you stood.
His eyes were on the wall next to your open door, the dark paint still caked into the creases around them as he looked anywhere but at you.
Cautiously, you moved a hand toward him, your movements slow like you were reaching for a wild animal and you were afraid it would bolt the second you touched it.
“Simon?”
The sound of his name falling from your lips was what made him meet your eyes, the tired almost broken look behind them making your heart sink to your stomach.
Your hand connected with his bare arm, the inked skin burning against your palm, “Come on.” You tugged him into your room while using the contact to steady yourself.
Silently, the large soldier followed you into your room, the dark area welcoming him with open arms as you pushed the door shut behind you.
“What's wrong?” You asked quietly while moving to stand in front of him.
As expected, he said nothing and instead lifted his hand to your face. His fingers lightly grazed along your skin near the stitchess on your forehead, the touch feeling like a static shock through your body.
There was no label on whatever the relationship between you and Simon was, neither of you really knew what it was.
You would both seek each other out after rough missions, you would seek out the presence of one another whether it was sitting silently outside the hanger looking at the stars or laying next to each other under the blankets.
Whatever you were it wasn't “just friends” and it certainly wasn't “just coworkers”
“Are you okay?” His voice was soft, gentle, just like his fingers as he pushed your hair back behind your ear.
You nodded and pressed your hand over his on your face, your eyes closing at the contact.
“I'm alright.”
His eyes searched your own, looking for any sign that you weren't telling the truth.
“I'm sorry.”
You loosed a breath and pulled his hand off of your face down to your chest so you could press it against your heart, “Feel that?”
He nodded slowly.
“You know what that is right?”
His eyes were on your connected hands, “Your heart.”
“And you feel it beating?”
He nodded again.
“That means I'm okay.” You explained to him.
He spread his hand across your sternum, his fingers stretching up to the bare skin of your neck as he savored the dull feeling of your heart beating against his palm.
Your hands found their way to his face and moved down so they were resting on either side of his chin, your fingers playing with the bottom of his mask, “Can I take this off?”
A low hum rumbled in his chest as his way of giving you permission to remove it, permission to see him.
You slid the rough fabric up over his jaw, then his chin, then his eyes, until he was no longer looking at you past the dark cloth and you could see his entire face.
“There you are.” You smiled up at him and cupped his chin with your hands, the stubble along his jaw poking your palm, “It's not your fault.”
He tensed up. His entire body went back to its usual rigid state and he stepped away from you, your hands still burning from his touch even after it was gone.
“You two went in there on my order.” His mouth was turned down in a frown, one you knew was a permanent fixture on his face, “I sent you in there.”
You sat down on the bed behind you, “You had no way of knowing there was a whole squad in that building.”
His chest rose slowly as he breathed in a deep breath, “I should have sent more men with you to clear that building.”
“And Johnny and I should have been able to handle it, sometimes things go wrong Simon.” You tapped your thumbs on your knees, the thick fabric of your sweatpants catching on the dry skin of your fingers.
The dark circles under Simon’s eyes weren't just from the grease paint he wore religiously, you knew that.
“I made a call, and that call almost got you both killed.” His brows lowered as his frown deepened
You stood from the mattress and breathed in slowly, the room spun for a moment before you were able to regain your bearings, “You listen to me, Simon.”
He watched you and moved to grab your arm and steady you.
“Nothing that happened out there was your fault, you hear me?”
He squeezed your arm, “I'm a lieutenant, I'm supposed to keep my team safe.”
“So am I, you think I haven't been beating myself up for letting Soap get shot on my watch?” You grabbed his arm and slid your hand down to meet his.
His shoulders slumped and his dark eyes scanned your face, “I can't lose you.” his voice cracked slightly.
His words were a confession, one he had yet to even admit to himself and was now saying aloud for you both to hear.
“Simon.”
He tugged on your arm and pulled you closer to him while his other hand moved up to rest behind your ear, his fingers pressing to the pulse point and tangling in your hair.
“I can't.” He repeated while staring down at you.
You leaned forward and rested your head on his chest, “You didn't lose me.”
Your body pressed against his was what made the dam break, it was all he needed to drop his shoulders and wrap his arms around your back to hold you closer to him.
He inhaled a shaky breath as you slid your arms under his and held onto him.
“When was the last time you got a full night's sleep, Simon?” You whispered against his chest as his head rested on top of yours.
He shrugged.
“Stay in here tonight, ‘kay?”
His nonverbal answer was to slide his arms down from your back to your thighs, his hands grabbing them tight and lifting you up to carry you back a few steps to the bed.
Your back hit the mattress and your head fell back onto your pillow moments before Simon pulled away from you. You were about to protest at the loss of contact until he climbed up onto the bed and dropped his body on top of yours and his head onto your stomach.
His back rose and fell as he exhaled, “Is this okay?” He muttered as he tilted his head to the side.
“It's perfect.” You pulled your arms free and rested them on either side of his face, “Want me to scratch your back?”
This was something you had learned that he loved, you learned it on accident one night when he was in your room after having a nightmare. He was sitting beside you on the edge of the bed explaining what he had dreamed about, it took some convincing for you to even get him to do that. You reached over and ran your fingers down his back, at first he froze and tensed up, but it didn't take long for him to melt into your touch.
Your offer hung in the air for a few seconds before he nodded slowly and you began raking your fingers along his t-shirt.
The sigh that fell from his lips was one of pure bliss.
You both stayed like this for what felt like forever, you ran your fingers up and down his back and into his messy hair while he lay on top of you.
After a while you were convinced he had fallen asleep, his breathing was slow and even like he had finally given into the exhaustion that was clear on his face.
You stopped your motion across his spine and ran a finger along the stitches by your hairline, the raised skin making you cringe as Simon lifted his head and looked up at you.
“I thought you were asleep.” You furrowed your brows.
He shook his head and rolled off of you so he was laying beside you, “I was listenin’ to you breathe.” He stared over at you, “You tired?” His eyes dropped down to your lips for a split second before moving back up to your eyes.
You nodded and used your legs to pull the blanket up within your reach, “You staying?”
“Mmhm,” He hummed and grabbed your waist to pull you over to him, your back pressed against his chest as he slid an arm under your neck for you to lay on.
“What if I wanted to be the big spoon?” You glanced back at him with a raised brow.
He squeezed your hip and pulled you tighter against him, “Too bad then.” He pressed his face to the back of your neck and breathed out against it, the feeling of his breath against your skin sending chills down your spine.
“This is nice.” You muttered while closing your eyes and savoring the feeling of his hand moving along your hip.
“I sleep better when I'm with you,” He whispered.
You hummed quietly, “Then you should sleep with me more often.”
“If you'll have me I will.” He pulled the blanket up over top of you both.
“You're welcome any time, you know that.”
He slid his hand forward to rest on your stomach, “I just need to know you're safe.”
“You can hold me as long as you need to know that I am.”
You knew he would need to hold you forever to know that you were safe. One thing he did know though was that you were safest when you were in his arms.
Taglist ~ @churchofrain @nightingale-ghost-writer @fict1onallyobsessed @ghostisdaddy @simonea27 @dyzlks @iccedays @chaoskrakenuwu @untoldshortsofthefandoms @exhaustedpotat0 @mysticcandydeer @u-wakatoshii @mikasakuchiki @reiya-djarin @cavern-creature @cabreezer0117 @kalamataolivesssss @blueoorchid
My God this was so cuteeee, for heaven's sake, someone give my big baby the happiness he deserves. I love Simon Riley so much🤧❤️