Human … where is the milk?

GET IT LIFTED bewwewweew  bebewwewew  bbwbewbewebewbew HWOOA WHOOo WHOoo WHAOo firetruck

now this... this is the kind of content i want recommended to me

Ayeeee

Adorable, beautiful magic

Guys, I think I might be gay

the fuck are you looking at? what’s down there

Stop what you’re doing. Reblog if you should be sleeping or doing work.

Not Yelling At Children is Better Than Yelling At Children, More At 11

Anne Hathaway, Audra McDonald and Raul Esparza in “Twelfth Night”

#rbing this feels like rbing like. the mona lisa. like its just too iconic

“Hi Dril - can’t we be civil about this?” has about 40 times the emotional impact as cutting to black with a gunshot sound

Pan Cake

straight people ARE stinky

wig!

there were 8 years between 2010 and 2018 where we didn’t exist but were just powering up our heterophobia gages

fuck tumblr. meet me in the pillow room on animal jam

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

Can’t risk it

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

It’s back!  Help me duck of creativity!