Imagine being the only person alive who can say this

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

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hey israelis and mizrahi diaspora friends

what are your favorite pesach traditions?

do you use horseradish for maror? do you eat the hillel sandwich?

tell us ashkis (i'm mixed but lbr if you're sephardic/ashkenazi mixed in diaspora, you kinda end up ashki) and diaspora jews what's upppp

<3

I’m ashki and we have a tradition that each year we have to take a larger scoop of the horseradish than we did the year before (to increase the suffering lmaooo)

the implications of this are both endearing and concerning

given that since we started till now I’m up to about a teaspoon…. The future does not look bright for me

TEASPOON THRHJE.

i will salute you with my horseradish covered matzah this year. we can suffer together 😭💙

Ashki but have been to a Sephardi Seder before. Gotta love the bopping of the head with the Seder plate. Also some Sephardim "whip" each other with leeks.

A tradition we do in my family is we like to make a game out of the plastic frogs/marshmallows and throw them into dishes and cups while egging the kids on into participating (the louder you sing Ma'anish Tana the more you'll get pelted with treats!!!)

in 2015 I needed a job really bad for reasons not worth getting into. i was living in ohio for like 6 months & i just applied at every place within a 30 minute drive from me and i got a call from the local Game Stop mere minutes after submitting the online app, which was obviously a red flag but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.

so they tell me when to show up for orientation & I get there the day-of but the store is closed & locked. i text the manager & he says back “oh yeah. i manage two Game Stops and open them alternate days.”

apparently the Game Stop I originally applied to is open Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and the other one is open Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays.

They’re 15 minutes apart. I don’t ask whether it would make sense to just have one store locally that is open daily, bc maybe the guy knows something I don’t.

So I get to the other Game Stop and walk in and it seems like there’s no one working there. There’s just a single woman in there wearing an ankle length leather trench coat. She didn’t greet me when I came in & she’s just browsing.

After ten minutes I ask her if she’s seen any employees and she’s like “oh I’m an employee.” She’s not wearing a name tag on the trench coat.

I tell her I’m here for training and she tells me the manager hasn’t come in yet. “he falls asleep playing xbox all the time but if he’s on live we can try pinging him to wake him up.”

I play Xbox and that absolutely doesn’t sound like a thing you can do in the way she’s describing it but once again maybe she knows something I don’t.

I ask if we have an Xbox that we can use to “ping” him and she says “yeah the one in the back we play on.”

She has an English accent by the way, a very specific & posh one which usually wouldn’t be relevant but we’ll get there.

So before she leads me to the Xbox-in-the-back she goes “oh damn. our internet has actually been down all morning, I forgot. We need to call the provider and have them come out and fix it. Can you do that?”

Can I call an unnamed internet provider and schedule them to come do service at a business where I don’t even technically work yet? Idk. She gives me their number and I call them and they put me on hold.

People are walking in and she’s not greeting them. She keeps browsing and people assume like I did that she’s another customer so they’re coming up to the counter where I’m on hold to ask me for help, and then I have to say I can’t help them and to ask the woman in the trenchcoat, and then she says “we can’t sell you anything. internet’s down.”

this goes on for 30 minutes and every time the store is empty she’s chatting at me and I’m on hold and then a man walks in the door and he says “sorry I fell asleep on live again haahaahaa” so this is the manager and the minute she starts speaking to him she no longer has an English accent which has me confused because it did not sound fake.

It was regionally specific and very natural.

the manager asks what I’m doing and I say I’m on hold with the internet provider and he gives me a thumbs up and walks to the back.

so I ask how long she’s lived in the U.S. and say I’m always interested in the way people can sometimes go in and out of accents and she says “oh I’m American. he asked me to stop doing the accent so I only do it when he’s not here.”

Suddenly I wonder what I’m doing here and I tell her I need to leave and I give no excuse but at this point I didn’t feel like I needed one? She said okay! See you later.

The manager didn’t contact me and that night I got offered some other retail job I jumped on.

Three months later the Game Stop manager texts me and asks if I can cover a shift in an hour and I say back “I don’t think I work there? I left an hour into my training. And we never spoke again.” And he texts back “hahahaha right on.”

And you may think wow, what a strange experience that all was but recently I have spoken to friends who did work at Game Stop and when I tell them this story they don’t even blink. Nothing I say surprises them. I was at the average Game Stop

wholesome interactions i saw in the metro :’(

another wholesome interaction i saw recently

Not me just now realizing that the middle description "Sometimes bringing someone back wrong is the better option" actually fits. two. of my WIPs. that are. drastically different. and better is for different reasons.

Whoops.

Wdym there's another wip that fits the bill????

If you are a Christian that wants to host a Passover seder this year:

1) Don’t. It’s appropriative and gross.

2) Still don’t.

3) Jesus never participated in the type of seder that Jews have today. He lived (if he existed as described in your Christian holy books) during the Second Temple Era of Judaism, when worship was Temple-focused and ritual sacrifice was a key facet of the holiday. The modern seder takes most of its traditions from rabbinic Judaism, which was not the Judaism of Jesus.

4) Don’t do it. Don’t. No, there is no good reason for you to do it.

5) Given the Christian antisemitic violence traditionally inflicted on the Jews during this time of year (the lead up to Easter), it is EXTRA awful for Christians to try and appropriate our traditions related to Passover.

6) Don’t. Pesach is our holiday, and our religion is a semi-closed practice. Don’t appropriate our stuff. Don’t make our stuff about Jesus.

7) There are no exceptions to the rule that Christians should not host Passover seders.

Hope this helps.

It’s that time again! Don’t do it, guys.

DONT FREAKING DO IT

This little ✨Sir✨ is everything good in the world and must be protected at all costs

It's a rabbi-t!

the only kosher l'pesach bun! lol

Wanda dressing Senor Scratchy up (Agatha is just bemused)

No see results, we die like artisans

Okay so all of y'all fighting the question because this is such a difficult choice? 😈

As for those of you lamenting that I didn't put writing prose on here or adding it in the notes are just reaffirming my decision not to include writing prose on the Depressed Writers Guild Website.

Those of you who are saying "oh I'd rather just do this the HARD way, that makes the art Real Art, man 😇✌️" ok you do you, but this poll is for those of us who don't have 12,000 leisure hours per week to become master artisans in whatever craft we are pining over today.

As for you all:

Yes, good, you understood the assignment

if I can draw anything the way it appears in my mind, that means I can create absolutely perfect mockups for the garments that I want to create, so I can not only draw the art I want to make for the sake of drawing and create the fabric patterns, but I can create perfect mockups so that I can work with manufacturers and therefore can get the garments that I want to design produced properly. 2 for 1.

My cheat answer is the power of manifestation of imagination. If I can imagine it, I can manifest it. This time the art bugaloo version I guess though.

as an autistic jew, passover is objectively the best holiday because it’s a dinner party with a script that everyone has to follow

as another autistic jew, passover is objectively the worst holiday because i can’t eat any of my normal foods and that’s horrible

As a 3rd autistic jew, I agree with both, but *Also* passover is the best holiday because as long as I can reapply a special interest to the pesach story I can talk about it whenever

But its the Worst holiday because there is mandatory cleaning with a deadline before

As a 4th autistic jew I think there are merits to many of these points but wanted to bring up that the food is basically the same every year, which is really nice and predictable

But passover also sucks because you’re expected to read with people watching you

4 Jews, 6 opinions. You did it, y’all! You brought that old Jewish joke to life! <3

5th autistic jew and I think a lot of the negatives are also rooted in a cycle of generational trauma from how our parents handled pesach prep who learned how to handle pesach prep from their parents who learned how to handle pesach prep from their parents etc etc

that being said pesach is both the best and worst holiday and it should become the fifth question (why is this night better than all other nights? because we can finally relax and feast like kings.)

Headcanoning Eve as Jewish I am not sorry

I was so big brained for this btw

I see she did not escape the over plucking of the eyebrow trend and my genuine reaction was "oh honey"

(but also she's fucking adorable and an actual witch she has like, aged maybe only fifteen years max in thirty)

life advice: if ur cishet male friends dont let u call them babygirl theyre not worth it. but also this is dangerous bc then u’ll buy them a coffee at starbucks and they’ll say thank u daddy and u will automatically respond ur welcome babygirl and then the entire starbucks will be staring at u bc it is 2:45pm on a wednesday. this may happen multiple times. do with this what u will