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@entropic-autonomy

“Nature is the art of God.” -Dante Aleghieri
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Anonymous asked:

Would your boyfriend rather fight the chicken or the orangutan in the previous ask?

"I'm fighting the chickens

Tons of chickens in the world

Plus unlimited meat

Nobody would like a guy that kills an orangutan with a sword once a year

Plus it's so crazy that it would eventually become known that I do

I can keep the chicken thing low-key

Not to mention I could open a restaurant

And I can pay world-class chefs to expertly prepare the chicken because of all the chicken carcasses I'm selling"

I reminded him that I'm sharing this with you, and he thus sent a laughing face before realizing, astonishingly, "SOMEONE WILL STEAL MY BUSINESS PLAN"

"my mind goes to interesting places when I’m sick :(((" he says.

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Little tidbit about the author.

I am oblivious to flirting.

I don't know what it looks like, or sounds like, or anything.

This one guy that I was close friends with was coming over to visit every now and then and he told me, "Every time I'm here, my heart starts racing."

And I said, "Oh? That's- um- not good. Maybe you should...like...go to a doctor or something?"

Which thus led to him reminding me that, "No. It's because I like you."

"Oh...haha...right."

And look where we’re at now @imherebecauseofdee​ 🥰🥰🥰

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War is Not the Answer

(NOT A PR0MPT)

******

“My allergies are horrible right now.” The hero sniffled for show, and when Villain turned around, he was surprised to see Hero’s face glistening with slow-moving tears.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying. My eyes are burning…because I have allergies.” Simple explanation, and the solution was just as simple. “I just took my allergy medicine- just waiting for it to kick in.”

“You’re still sniffling.”

“Because it hasn’t kicked in yet. It will,” she reassured, as if he were the one that even needed the reassuring.

Villain nodded and turned away, walking to a nearby shelf. For a moment, Hero didn’t think anything of it. There were snacks on those shelves, as well as some videogames. Nothing unordinary. “A warhead would clear your sinuses.”

No.”

A mischievous look was returned as a sour candy was plucked from a basket on the top shelf. “It would work.”

“It would kill me!”

Hero, in her weakened and dying state, had no defense as Villain approached, tearing the candy open and holding the green, apple-flavored drop of death between two pinched fingers.

“You’re going to kill me,” she screeched, and tried to sniffle, hoping her nose would have already cleared, hoping she could save herself from the sour punch her lover wanted to deliver. “Stop, no! I don’t want it, I don’t-”

But Villain was grabbing her chin with his free hand, squishing her lips until they fell open.

A moment of silence ensued and Villain smiled widely at his success. Hero was puckering, miserable, but her sniffle was gone. “It worked,” he said finally, and she could do nothing in revenge.

The war was lost, settled by a candy smaller than Hero’s thumb.

******

@imherebecauseofdee I will get my revenge.

And he put fishing line in my nostril :(

I can’t close my nostrils :(

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Test Me

NOT A PR0MPT

Hi! I was wondering if u could do a bit where the hero breaks into the villains mansion/layer to get some plans or something but the plans are in the villains ✨bedroom ✨and the villain is in the ✨shower ✨ and they catch the hero. A little ✨spicy ✨ u know? If u don’t want to do this I completely understand no pressure! Thxxxxxx😁

Mm. If you were honest about wanting the spice, I promise you are going to soak this up. Not explicit, but quite easily suggestive. Hide your phones. If you think you shouldn’t read it 🤷‍♀️ then don’t.

******

A lockpick, a desk, and a disk drive. Hero’s team had gathered the information on Villain’s base; now it was up to Hero to gather the plans hidden within. It was right in front of her- a sparkling silver lock just waiting to be sprung by deft hands- her hands.

“I wish you would have broken in sooner. I would have asked you to join me.”

“It’s what I was here for,” Hero blurted, and she hadn’t even bothered to look at him as she hid her hand behind her back. Looking away from the locked drawer, though, she found herself losing her breath. “I-I wanted to see you.” Not like this, she wanted to elaborate, but…hell, she couldn’t think.

Villain was in a towel- and only a towel.

Maybe if he thought she were interested in him, then she might make it out alive. Would he kill her? Hero wasn’t sure.

Regardless, this was much more of Villain than what she had wanted to see, and she didn’t know what to do.

“I have something to tell you,” she played on.

“You want me to believe you came here to confess feelings?” Villain laughed and smiled something toothy and arrogant. “I wish I could believe you, Hero, but here’s the truth: you wouldn’t know what to do if I returned your flirtations.”

“I’m sure I would,” Hero insisted. “Test me.”

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Prompt #209

“I’m tired of pretending my intentions are good!” Villain tossed their hands in the air. “I want you, Hero. I want you in every way I can have you.”

Usually, they would have corrected themselves. ‘If you’ll have me,’ they’d say. A suggestion more than a demand. Not anymore. They wanted Hero. There was no other way to say it.

“I want you,” they said again, “and I will tear this world apart to make you mine.”

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Prompt #213

“If you knew even one thing about me, you’d know that I only blush when-”

Stop. Talking.”

Hero was baffled. “What?”

“I told you,” Villain reiterated, “to stop talking. You’re annoying me and I don’t take lightly to annoyances.”

“Yeah? And what would you do if I decided to keep annoying you?” Hero challenged.

Villain replied, “Things.” After a long pause, Villain glanced at Hero’s red cheeks. “I know what you blush at. Don’t underestimate me.”

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Prompt #220

"Favorite feature on yourself. Answer, now."

Hero pondered the question for just a moment. "My eyes."

Villain hummed, as if to say, 'Interesting choice, but…’ "I don’t think so."

"Well, it's a good thing you asked for my opinion, not the other way around," Hero said. “That means I don’t have to listen to what you think.”

"Do you know what my favorite feature of yours is?" Villain asked anyway. Then, answering their very own question, muttered, "Your parted lips."

Hero’s attention was drawn towards the bluntness of the statement, towards the absurdity of the conversation altogether. "Parted?" What did parted have to do with- oh.

Now smiling, Villain’s teeth shone like a dagger’s glinting edge. “What do you say we put them to good use?”

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Gasps of Air

NOT A PR0MPT

Tw: spicy themes

******

“You’re not getting through,” Hero declared. She stood in front of the door, arms spread like wooden, plank barriers.

Villain could only raise a brow and stalk closer. One step, then another. “Move.”

Hero’s chin jutted up in response. “No. You’re going to have to-”

In a moment, Hero felt herself gasp as Villain’s hand found her throat. Then following, her back met the same door she guarded. Without thought, her own hands shot up, as if she could help herself, as if she could pry the already placed hands away when they were so adamant on keeping her still against this surface.

“Let go,” she seethed through a stretched neck and gritted teeth. Hero made every attempt to meet anything but Villain’s eyes. She repeated, “Let go of me.”

“Funny,” Villain remarked, “how just a few months ago, these pretty eyes were pleading for more.” His fingers flexed against her soft skin ever so slightly. “Now, I can see they beg for mercy, not pleasure. Experiencing some spotty vision, Hero?”

She tried to respond. So desperately, Hero attempted to act as though she was unaffected- both physically and mentally. Truth be told, she was gasping for air, watching blobs of pastel colours float by her vision as she, for once, tried to focus on Villain’s face- only because it was the nearest thing to focus on.

“I remember how these eyes used to roll back.” Villain’s fingers loosened around Hero’s neck and he hummed at the way she gasped heavily for air, whilst clutching his wrists, almost like a ‘Thank you,’ when he was only giving her a right to the air which everyone breathed for free. “It was…endearing,” he said, and though he was unsure of his word choice, he continued, “to watch you believe you were relinquishing control to me, only to realise you never had it to begin with.” His fingers were tightening again, and he smiled as the hero’s breaths became more rapid- frantic, even.

Villain smiled now, and his tongue just barely peeked out to wet his lips. If Hero weren’t so occupied, she might have noticed and thought he was going to kiss her against this door.

“What’s really so cute is that you could get out of this so easily.” He looked down and took note of her knee, took note of where his own weak spot was. The two lined up almost perfectly. “You don’t,” Villain murmured, “because you still have feelings. You’re enjoying this.”

I’m not enjoying anything, Hero would have defended, but the moment she opened her mouth to speak, she was cut off by another squeeze.

“Are you going to step aside?”

Now wheezing, Hero shook her head. Her eyes rolled back as she felt the desire for oxygen in her body to swell. She needed it. She needed air. Something so simple, so necessary, but so simple to take away. Right now, Hero resented Villain for what he was- someone so suave and calculating, so poise and utterly evil, but someone she ultimately couldn’t help but continue to love.

“You try to act so valiant,” Villain remarked, “but you’re the one who’s shaking beneath my hand.” He shrugged, then acted without notice, side-stepping, then bending his elbow, and sending Hero forward, away from the door.

Before walking out the door, Villain looked to Hero again. “You always were pretty looking up at me.” He almost felt tempted to walk over to her, to hold her chin the way he used to, and to pull her up with a fishhook finger. “I expect you to be here when I get back. On your knees.” Then he left Hero there, grasping her own throat where his hands used to be, where they had been many times before. They would be there again.

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Distracted

(NOT A PR0MPT) A story where hero and villain are training together, and she gets caught staring.

I only know who the ‘she’ is because I know the person who sent the request, and I’m displeased with you, but you already know this. Rat.

TW: suggestive 👀

******

Mountains and smooth-flowing rivers. Greek sculptures made lively, even with marble.

Villain was beautiful.

“You keep staring off into space and it’ll be easy for a threat to grab hold of you. Stay aware.”

It wasn’t space that Hero was staring at at all. It was the winding roads that made up Villain’s arms- the muscles which, no matter if he were using them or not, always seemed flexed as the two sparred.

“Hey. Listen up.”

Hero shook her head and found Villain’s eyes. “Sorry- uh. I was just thinking about dinner.” Dinner? Really? “I have chicken thawing at home, but I don’t know-” Stop talking. “It doesn’t matter, really.”

Villain angled his head and squinted his eyes, but he ultimately shrugged it off. Hero couldn’t help but to glance at his shoulders as he did so. Even with sleeves, he managed to show off.

“Keep your eye on your opponent’s chest. That’s where you’ll be able to predict their next move, alright?”

Of course, Hero nodded, but her mind was occupied wondering what muscles were beneath the front of his shirt. And the back, now that she thought of it. “You need to size down,” she blurted.

“Sorry?”

“You’re tall,” she reasoned, but it was a lie. Truthfully, she wanted him wearing a smaller shirt so she could see…“It’s an unfair advantage.”

“So what? You’re going to demand Supervillain crouches down while you think about how to cook your chicken?” Barely closing his eyes, Villain chuckled and hunched slightly in on himself.

Hero took his vulnerability as an opportunity to charge, to put what little focus she’d maintained on striking his arm. Or trying to strike his arm. Hero’s fist was caught in the same moment Villain’s chuckling ceased. She gasped at his hand, now holding her wrist, and at his forearm, larger now as he used it to immobilize her and stop her attack. Hero progressively trailed her eyes further up, catching sight of Villain’s bicep and shoulder, which weren’t flexed, but were still just as impressive as his grip and forearm.

“You’re distracted,” Villain finally said. When his eyes met Hero’s own, she quickly looked away before trying to take her wrist away from Villain’s grip. “Ah, ah.” He snatched her other wrist and held them both separately. “What’s got you so distracted, Hero? Surely, it’s not this.” Villain lifted her hands for emphasis. As she tried to tug down, he kept her in place- his bicep flaring as he did. “Stop.”

She did, but not before swallowing. “We’re training,” she retorted.

“I don’t think you were doing much of anything besides imagining. You like this, don’t you?”

“You don’t know anything.”

“I know you get defensive when you’re trying to hide something.” He smiled. “I’d have never guessed you were into this. You like being controlled.” This time, Villain tightened his grip- just enough to make her cheeks go flame-red.

“Stop looking at me like that.” But as she said it, her cheeks darkened, revealing how much she did like what Villain said and did.

Still holding her wrists, Villain hummed. “You’re only training two days a week?”

Hero nodded.

“Let’s make it five.” Without another word’s notice, Villain released Hero with a shove. “Go home, Hero. Try not to think about how easily I could pin your wrists above your head as you lay in bed.” He walked to the wall, where he previously tossed his bag, threw the bag over his shoulder, and walked towards the door. “Can I count on you to drive home undistracted?” he asked over a shoulder.

Unsurprisingly, Hero was shocked and speechless. She managed a nod.

“Drive safe, Hero.”

******

Spare a reblog?

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81 (I have sent too many of these 😂 I think this is the third one oops)

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Psh- do as many as you want.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

(Abstract poetry was like my thing years ago.)

They withhold the energy of a thousand stars, compressed into one glorious, summer night- one where the breeze tickles your nose and turns the leaves so slightly that they whistle.

They are what surrounds the campfire in the middle of the night, when the embers’ lights are dying out, but you can still feel their warmth when you wake up in the middle of the night.

They are the pit in your stomach when you feel you are about to fall into the deepest love possible- the one you become entranced in and can’t help but to walk into no matter how hard you try to turn away.

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A Phone Call and Music

Protagonist sat on her bed, legs crossed as she leaned over what she called her ‘dinotop.’ It was a laptop that her mom gave to her after many years of little use. She wrote books. Usually, she did so in journals, but having the desire to publish, she needed her books digitalized. So, she sat now, on her bed, dinotop in front of her.

It was hard telling how long she sat there or what time of day it was. All she knew was that her phone started ringing. A part of her expected it to be her grandfather, who often called at random to check in on her. Who called her instead surprised her. Hero.

The last Hero had called her, it’d been in hopes of assistance. He’d been buying pants for his girlfriend and couldn’t figure out what the sizes meant. It was a short conversation, but no less one Protagonist remembered.

Did she say hello first or did Hero? Oh, she didn’t know anymore. It’d been too long. What Protagonist did remember, though, was that Hero needed to talk. He told her that he considered her a close friend and that he needed a distraction. A distraction because he’d just broken up with his girlfriend.

The two were always friends, and there was always a closeness that neither expanded on while in school, especially seeing as they were both in…occupying relationships. There was hardly time for a deeper friendship- not one that was scandalous, but a simple friendship, a platonic one. Either way, they were close and it became even more evident when Hero called.

Chance must have laughed at the both of them, for Hero didn’t know Protagonist had broken up with her boyfriend not too long before Hero had with his own partner. Of course, this meant nothing once the two established the fact. It only meant they had better opportunity to be friends, to hang out and be the friends they didn’t get to be before while in relationships. Neither had any great expectation beyond being friends.

Hero visited Protagonist’s house. They went to her backyard and she brought her guitar out so he could teach her to play it- she didn’t have time to teach herself. He attempted to show her how to play Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart. Her fingers were too soft for the thin strings; she didn’t do well, but she reminded him that she could play piano. They should play together sometime.

He came to her house a few more times, when the temperature was below freezing and both were shivering or curling into themselves on separate seats outside. The two wore masks, stayed distanced from one other. They used hand warmers to rid the chills. It was still freezing, but it was worth it to spend time together, laughing at jokes, and talking about, well, just about anything.

Maybe they should have known, then- while they were willingly freezing with chittering teeth and pink hands and cheeks- that they were falling for each other. For crying out loud, the two began making a movie list as if they would never end up on the same couch cushion sharing snacks.

They went for a hike, when the season was dying and warmth was returning to their region once again. It was still chilly, still icy, and Protagonist even berated Hero for not dressing warm enough. She kidded that he could wear her hoodie- she was significantly smaller than him. (If she didn’t think he’d get stuck now, she’d still like to have him try one of her shirts.)

After a beautiful hike- one with hundreds of fossils, wet shoes, moments of silent awe, and marbles of ice- the two went out to eat. (To this day they still joke about a pocket dimension- where a truck stop was in the middle of the road and they went to the strangest Wendy’s they’d ever seen.) They debated on the proper pronunciation of the show ‘Naruto’- Protagonist was proven correctly, although Hero still won’t admit it.

On the way home, they talked about their feelings, and you know what they did? They agreed not to date. Can you believe it? They agreed that, since they were going into such different occupations, ones in different parts of the country- and world- that they should save themselves the heartbreak. They should remain friends as to not fall too deeply for one another and have their feelings broken when life forced them to split.

But what changed that?

Well, they continued on as friends. Hero continued to come over. They texted nearly nonstop. He even dated another girl, trying to move on.

“There’s no music when I’m around her,” he told Protagonist about the girl. “With you, I can hear music.”

Some time after this, Protagonist went to play tennis with a friend she hadn’t seen a little while. Friend asked about Hero, since they’d spoken about him before. “So, are you two dating?” Friend had asked.

“Um. I- I don’t know actually.”

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?!”

Well, it was a legitimate answer in Protagonist’s book. She truly didn’t know- because she and Hero had spoken before and they’d agreed they shouldn’t date. And yet…and yet they still hung out every chance they got. They texted nonstop. Mighties, they had admitted to liking each other- whether they agreed to date or not, they had feelings for one another. So were they dating? They might as well have been, right?

So, she brought it to Hero days later. There were many uh’s and um’s, an obvious sign of nervousness, even through text. Could she have erased the uh’s and um’s to prevent sounding nervous over text? Of course. But was that an authentic representation of her feelings as she was texting him? No. So, she left the uh’s and um’s.

Truthfully, Hero hadn’t known whether they were dating or not either. Laughing emojis were exchanged.

By some miracle, the two agreed that all the memories they could make would be worth the heartbreak, and now they could hardly see a reason they couldn’t be together for a very long time.

:))

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