Pax Soprana

laughing my ass off at how much this sucks

->

And Giancarlo Esposito as "corrupt Mayor Franklyn Cicero." Sadly no Cato the Younger equivalent I can find, but look at these character names:

Aubrey Plaza as Wow Platinum Shia LaBeouf as Clodio Pulcher Jon Voight as Hamilton Crassus III

I'm so used to Roman naming conventions that when I saw this I wondered what the heck had happened between Caesar and Cicero in this timeline.

MARY BEARD CONSULTANT????

CATILINA REHABILITATION???!!!

girl who wont shut up about how she "loves a man in uniform" but as she keeps talking it becomes clear she's talking about butches in customer service jobs

Transcript:

I’m about to expose the men. Whenever you ask a man’s height, he’ll add an inch. So if he’s 6 foot, he’ll say he’s 6’1 and if he’s 6’2, he’ll say he’s 6’3.

Not me though. I subtract 4. I say I’m 5’9. Especially when there’s other men in the room. And then I just watch them panic. Not only have you exposed his lie, but now he thinks he’s 5’3.

What I do is not a crime, but it should be.

Tumblr in a nutshell

Oh god, this is worth the watch.

a man in a suit on his knees looking up does something to me.I mean how is your night going

now imagine he also has much more money than me

before you respond to anon hate resend it to yourself with a carefully placed typo that you can then mock at their expense

#holy shit court eunuch level hater strat

never 5get

obsessed with john waters parents, they were funnier than him!

lmao

mrs waters you will always be famous (to me)

My cat and a potato sack

how fortunate you are to have a cat with so many fine potatoes

Happy Birthday David Byrne (May 14, 1952)

rhythmic gymnasts making hearts with the ribbon...