learned today (after googling it upon seeing the "Sadomasochism Brothers" post) that masochism was named by a psychiatrist who had read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic writing and was like "I feel safe in concluding that this man had Fucked-Up Freak Sex Disorder, which now until forever will bear his name", while von Sacher-Masoch was still alive. there are accounts of von Sacher-Masoch being like "bro what the fuck" about this
making a pbta game is hard af smh
I have but I did forget so THANK YOU! I was actually already grabbing a bunch from Pasion de las Pasiones (my favorite version of pbta at this time) so basically I was already copying his homework lol
Imagine you’re friends with someone who hosts a really popular internet game show, and he invites you on a couple of times and you gain a reputation for winning that gameshow. Then, he sets up a show where the whole point of it is that you cannot win the game, just to break your streak of the whole thing. Your trust breaks just a little bit.
Next time, he asks you to put on a mic pack for another episode of the game show, turns out it’s a heart rate monitor for another episode where you have to sit there and be almost tortured as you attempt to keep yourself calm. Your trust is devolving.
Next time, you come on the show, he tells you to go and wait in the green room and locks you in there, he’s a recording on the screen because he’s locked in the bathroom, he’s been there the whole time, you’re forced to do an escape room to go to work. You don’t know if you can trust him anymore.
Next time, you go on the show, you play bingo, you don’t trust him, something’s wrong, he’s been manipulating players to manipulate players into manipulating players. There was no way for you to win this one, not really.
You are a mouse trapped in a maze
You are a performing monkey at the circus
You are the most popular person on TikTok despite not having a tiktok
You are Brennan Lee Mulligan and this is your life. Sam is your boss, your chief scientist and ringmaster. You will never escape.
I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.
Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”
“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”
In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.
Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”
Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.
Why would you hide this in the tags
directors using colorful or "impossible" lighting to convey mood and meaning and beauty my beloved. directors making night scenes impossible to see for the sake of realism my beloathed.
can't have shit in Baltimore
somehow this guy was the most considerate carjacker in all of Baltimore. did he pull a gun on me? yeah. but he let me keep my phone and my wallet, and when he was driving away he rolled down the window and yelled at me "REPORT YOUR CAR STOLEN!" (the cops were confused and laughed when I told them this)
I told my husband @beemovieerotica that's what great about Baltimore, the crime is streamlined here.
the youth today, they have no class. these zoomers don't understand social cues and good manners. it takes a real upstanding citizen to rob your car at gunpoint and then immediately yell at you how to resolve your current dilemma. that's called community building
the downside of having comprehensive insurance
Affection
"But why do you follow all these people if they keep posting fetish art you're not into" do you have any idea how boring my dashboard would be if I only followed people who aren't into weird shit?
It's an unavoidable truth that interesting people are, more often than not, into weird shit.
Sometimes the weird shit is a fun bonus.
Sometimes the weird shit is the price you pay.
No "maybe" option. This is a yes or no thing. We're settling this once and for all
Slutty cow print clothes being sold only in sizes that wouldn't fit on a fat bitch is some kinda twisted structurally enforced stolen valor type shit.
happy 40th anniversary everyone 🥳🥳
🌅peach-bi-street
who’s that watchman who’s kinda skrunkly
🐀↺riverrat Follow
helen.
HELEN. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOBBY NOBBS.
🌅↺peach-bi-street
oh yeah
#are you gonna look at me and tell me that im WRONG?
24 notes
🪙official-c.m.o.t.☑️☑️Sponsored with Blaze
C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s Escape The Room!!!!!
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Show this ad at the front desk for a special deal of only one dollar per person, and that’s cuttin’ me own throat!!!
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#smallbusiness #ankhmorpork #ankhblr #deals
590 notes
🚹humantwitter Follow
4,981 notes
💌postal-service-top Follow
saw the postmaster today in his stupid gold suit. hes so hot
🌚↺lesbianbaker
i don’t get why people say this he’s the most average looking guy ever. his WIFE however
#you know that post that’s like ur at a lesbian bar and a hot older woman is smoking #and ur like. ‘can yuo put that out on me’ #yeah
120 notes
🥁evenmoremendeddrum Follow
do you guys think the patrician has a secret blog
🛤️↺makeyefret Follow
No, but I bet his secretary is on studyblr
🐶↺wufflesgirl Follow
are you kidding me the patrician is definitely on tumblr. brb committing treason so i can compliment his shoelaces
🥁↺evenmoremendeddrum Follow
peer-reviewed tags
🏚️↺ankhmorporkheritageposts Follow
Ankh-Morpork Heritage Post
1,074,228 notes
trainhoe-deactivated19890205
hot take but i kind of think the guild of assassins and thieves are problematic. like one of them you could ruin someone’s life and the other one you’re literally KILLING people. i know rich people are delusional but i can’t believe they literally think the best school for their kids is murder college.
🐲essential-dragons Follow
assassins got them
20,391 notes
Concept: one-shot oriented tabletop RPG which borrows Land of OG's gimmick whereby each player is only allowed to use a specific, randomly determined list of words when communicating with other players (i.e., all communication not involving these words must be carried out via grunts and gestures), except instead of dumb cave men fucking around it's about a group of dungeon-crawling adventurers ascending the Tower of Babel, or some other suitable framing device, and each player's list of permitted words is re-randomised each time the party ascends to a new floor. Certain types of "damage" might involve modifying the affected player's word list, and one of the game's principal advancement mechanisms would entail "locking in" specific words, rendering them immune to loss or randomisation.
Asdfghjkl it happened again
It has been 0 days
Not only has it been 0 days, it has been 3 days in a row
[image description: a screenshot of tags by tumblr user uwuplasmiusuwu that say the following: “#disabled humor #autistic culture #thank you whoever liked this so that I could find the post again #MY PHONE ETIQUETTE IS FLAWLESS #IM SO SMOOTH I DONT GOT FRICTION #WHY AM I FAILING THE TURRING TEST?!?!” /end ID]
Adding the tags from the last post in light of how many times I heard this on Friday, because I lost count
🎶There’s moooore🎶
So, as of last update, shenanigans have happened at least twice daily on average. I have decided that, if you’re gonna call my autistic ass out, you can listen to me wheeze while I crack up. That brings us to today’s overtime special:
After that, we both laughed so hard they hung up accidentally. 😂
This is wonderful. If more unknown people called me and I answered them I’d probably be trying to replicate this.
It. Keeps. Happening.
I have no choice but to break down in helpless laughter as I try to reassure people, “I’m not at all offended, this is just the [3rd to 14th] time today someone’s told me that.”
Someone give me the money to buy a decent mic and I’ll do the damn voice acting. 🤣
This used to happen to me all the time when my job involved phone work! I also once read the part of a voicemail machine in a script writing class, and everyone was very impressed how I got the timing right on the “you have one new message” bits.
Right? All it is is pattern recognition, and we already have to have scripts for everything anyway! 🤣
You know, I haven’t updated this post in ages, but I am still surprising folks all the time. Here are some recent highlights:
reading up on the marriage bar and found this absolute legend of a woman
Certified Library Post
The Small Print. :->
Vera did good
dude idk if you made up penniless friendless alone but i want that tattooed with the article on me that’s fucking hilarious
"Penniless, friendless, alone" owes its origins to a set of Mario Party house rules I played with in college. They are as follows:
why luigi
because he has been chosen to suffer
I'm taking The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas away from some of you people
look. not everyone chosen to suffer is like the forsaken child. the forsaken child has no agency, no recourse. the people of omelas are largely passive and complacent in their complicity.
this is not the case, here. luigi faces long odds, but it's possible for him to win by nothing more than his own striving. the other players are the active agents of his suffering. this isn't omelas. it's the book of job, and the other players are G-d and the adversary each. stop making inapt comparisons!
Which classic video game character is the foresaken child
waluigi
absolutely in love with the idea of a high fantasy setting where the monarchy and the witches respectively summon a hero and a demon king “from another realm” to destroy their enemies and it’s two pro-wrestlers isekai’d from our world who have career-long beef with each other
