shitty egg boyfriend. If you pick Cullen you get a wedding AND A DOG 

Solas during the entire romance.

I saw this on Facebook and just.. it’s so accurate for Solavellan.

GUYS I REPOSTED THIS ON INSTAGRAM AND A FEW MINUTES LATER PATRICK STUMP REPLIED TO MY TWEET WHEN I ASKED ABOUT HIM PERFORMING AT THE 1989 TOUR

WASN’T GONNA REBLOG THIS BUT THEN I READ WHAT costumeswift SAID WHICH MADE IT NECESSARY TO REBLOG

EVERY TIME I NEED TO I JUST CANT PASS 

Something magical i hope

I CANT PASS THIS

i just heard my mom calling me down for dinner.

god is real.

please.

Yeah yeah

My mom just gave me 40 dollars biih

there’s no harm in trying??

Ah pls work

when the timer rings at the end of the last exam:

Life would be 100x easier if I didn’t like people twice my age

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

I WISHED FOR SNK MERCH THE FIRST TIME. I GOT A JACKET.

I WISHED FOR MY GIRLFRIEND THE SECOND TIME. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

YOU GUYS WTF MY WISH HAPPENED 

If my wish happens, I will literally die of happiness.

Omg please work

sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested

Part I

When you find the writer who wrote a rude article on @taylorswift

Part II

American Dad Reenacted The Infamous Stone Cold Steve Austin/Vince McMahon Bedpan Scene

American Dad ended with a reenactment of Stone Cold Steve Austin hitting Vince McMahon over the head with a bedpan from a 1998 RAW episode.

View on Uproxx

Tips for living alone

Buy a bat (I have my old color guard rifle) or similar. Keep it in your room/near your bed.

Get a lock for your bedroom door.

If you’re moving into a new place, change the locks. Who knows who had a key to your place before you.

Keep your phone/a phone in your room.

Get a weather alert system set up. App, weather call, little weather radio that tells you about major weather events.

Adopt a pet

Wave at your neighbors. Take note of the ones that make you uneasy. Watch out for kids always.

Be nice to your mail person. No matter what.

If you choose to drink/etc alone, unplug your wifi router. You’ll thank me.

Have extra seating. People sit when they visit. Your one comfy chair is great for you. Not so great for you + grandma + ur five cousins, your aunt, and a couple others.

Learn the self-Heimlich

When you take a shower, bring your phone to the bathroom in case you fall your phone is no longer halfway across the house, it’s just on your counter

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Idk what else

If you live in an one-room apartment, put a screen around your bed. It’ll feel less like you visit people, esp. strangers, into your bedroom. Also you’ll feel much safer sleeping in the enclosure. Cook enough for a few meals each time you cook, and freeze the extra food. That way you’ll prevent things from expiring and it’s great when you don’t feel like cooking or have no time or energy for it.

Give a key to someone near you trust, or hid it somewhere few people will look, like up in a tree. Shutting yourself out isn’t nice, esp. not at night. Put something translucent like curtains or stickers for windows where people can walk past or look in. You’ll feel less watched that way.

Put some contant money somewhere in your room. Good to have in case your bag gets lost or stolen. 

Feeling lonely? Remember, online contacts are not less valuable.

I would say maybe set reminders for everything too. Taking meds/vitamins, working out, going to sleep, waking up.

Buy a small fan for white noise at night if you’re the kind (like me) that gets anxious at all the little ambient noises that ANY building can supply in the dark. Don’t watch scary movies in the dark by yourself, with no visitors. NETFLIX, if you can afford it. It’s also useful because you can watch movies / shows with your online buddies at the same time, miles and states and (sometimes even) countries apart.

get an app like safetrek. never walk into allies or empty streets if there is a more populated/well-lit route to your destination. keep emergency contacts in your wallet and a red cross card with your blood type on it in case anything happens. carry a list of medications you’re allergic to, if any. 

walking around with a headset or headphones discourages people from yelling at you on the street, and it’s easier to escape from hasslers. however, it’s pretty advisable to not have anything actually playing so you can be aware of your surroundings. if anything, have it at low volume.

if you get grabbed on the street (this used to happen to me a lot), immediately scream, and the person will usually get startled, giving you time to get away. 

if you feel like you’re in a really bad place, call someone, or even pretend like you’re calling someone. say where you are. act like you’re planning on meeting up with them. be loud about it. make it seem like someone will notice if you go missing, even for a little bit.

also u should look up manufacturer’s coupons like damn i feel like a successful suburban mom every time i walk into cvs and save 2 dollars on my toothbrushes

PSA PSA EVERYBODY NEEDS