𝕤𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕕

i wish superpowers were real because then you'd get people making posts like "some people need to get real hobbies and stop making identical illusionary clones of themselves that your fist passes through like smoke when you go to punch them :/" and know exactly who the OP was talking about

i also don't wish superpowers were real because i would be so pissed if i replied "mad because you fell for the illusion aren't you" and some guy with teleportation powers grabbed me and teleported me to the middle of the desert for ratioing him on twitter

some fucking space aliem: please i need help our peiple are being attackd and killed and injured and hurt so we need helppppp

captian picarid:

Sucks that "sleeping together" refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.

Reblog if you wanna snooze with a pal

psychoanalyzing the gender/identity dichotomy between ice skating and ice hockey and coming to the more objectively correct conclusion that ice hockey is rooted in motherly feminine behavior of protecting the nest and that ice skating is about masculine peacocking of one's own physical prowess in seeking a mate

goodbye 2023👋hello 𓏏𓉔𓇋𓋴 𓇌𓅂𓄿𓂋 𓇋 𓅃𓇋𓃭𓃭 𓎼𓅂𓏏 𓄿 𓅓𓅲𓅓𓅓𓇌 𓃀𓅱𓇌𓆑𓂋𓇋𓅂𓈖𓂧 𓅓𓄿𓇌𓃀𓅂 𓉔𓅲𓋴𓃀𓄿𓈖𓂧 𓇋𓆑 𓉔𓅂𓂕𓋴 𓎢𓅱𓅱𓃭 𓅃𓇋𓏏𓉔 𓏏𓉔𓄿𓏏

my egyptologist friend says this is a (very poorly) phonetically transcribed english phrase "this year i will get a mommy boyfriend"

okay you werent supposed to know that

take your time

"aw i love your earrings, they're so cute!" i say, making the barista's day. i sit down with my coffee and send a respected mutual an anon ask reading "you look like you've got that homestuck kinnie pussy." thus i have maintained the balance of suffering in the world for another day. as i wander down the beach of life, my footsteps do not even disturb its grains

baja blast sheep have you any wool

Yes sir, yes sir, gamer fuel

*BLEEP*

YA novel covers

for new years day, i decided to start posting more art

here’s my original character, Horny Walter the Nautical Sex Rodent, he drives his nasty boat around the world’s oceans in pursuit of hole, leaving a trail of ecological destruction in his wake

i will be developing a line of merchandise for this new character, talks are already ongoing for the Horny Walter PEZ Dispenser/butt plug

sitting on cardboard in the dark

phoenix, 2024 post-s2. the Bentley has been left untouched for so long that a nightingale family has made a nest under her grille. nothing will ever be as it was, but something new will be reborn.