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Aro To The Knee

@aro-to-the-knee

Angry Aro
Fork | They/Them | Alloaro
Don’t call me aspec.
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prokopetz

So we were talking about Muppet adaptations of classic literary works; somebody jokingly suggested Neil Gaiman’s Sandman on the grounds that due to the World Fantasy Award fiasco it technically qualifies as literature, and I just can’t get the idea out of my head. If they follow the pattern of previous Muppet adaptations, they’d be obliged to put Kermit the Frog in some prominent role, and every conceivable option is objectively hilarious.

Stated in a reply but I wanted to elaborate here – I like the idea of Kermit as Morpheus. Think about it: He’s a busy showrunner who’s trying to put on a good performance for people, while the rest of his cast and crew are goofballs if not whole morons, and sometimes he’s just as silly as they are. Sandman’s realm is kind of like the Muppet Show except with less humor and more melancholy soul-searching. Kermit would be a great Morpheus. And Miss Piggy could play the role of jilted lover as she often does, because Morpheus always has one of those too. And you could have Statler and Waldorf as Cain and Abel.

Statler and Waldorf as Cain and Abel

That’s horrifying.

I think I love it.

I’ve been stuck with Kermit’s voice saying this in my head all day thanks to these posts.

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neil-gaiman

Perfect.

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asterosian

This is your reminder that ace rings are as old as 2005

2005

It’s almost 2020 as of writing this so do the math… that’s about 15 years old

AVEN was founded in 2001

The asexual flag was announced as the official asexual flag in 2010

The ace rings are older than the ace flag and only about four (4) years younger than AVEN

Keep this info laying around somewhere, you’ll need it whenever an acephobe on tumblr makes a claim about the asexual community

Tagging me in easy to read ace history posts? *chef kiss*

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ashekirk

Seriously, I joined AVEN in 2005, this is 100% true. Black rings were a thing. “Ace” was a thing. Aro was a thing. Demi was a thing. Cake was a thing.

You can still read the June 17, 2005 post that started it all, which says:

You know, a friend of mine wears a ring on her left middle finger. Her explanation being that: your right middle means “currently single”, the right ring means “currently taken” and since the left ring means “taken/married” in a permanent sense, then the next logical conclusion would be that left middle means “permanently single”.

Later the right hand became standard, but there you have it: one of our oldest, proudest symbols began as an expression of self-love (and subtle jab at heteronormative institutions of marriage ayy). The very next post articulates the community’s desire for a “secret asexual-dar, so we can spot each other out and about”, underscoring the ring’s strength as a symbol by us, for us.

AVENwiki adds that “Plain black rings also coincide with the symbol ⚪ which symbolized asexuality and genderless. This symbol is also often written in black, simple because it’s a common ink color.” In context, it’s a perfect visualization of asexuality in relation to similar sexuality symbols.

Like the circle, asexual history has no beginning or end. We’re eternally whole.

[ Image Description: Screenshot of a wikipedia entry titled Ace Ring with a photo of a black ring. Under the photo is text that reads: A black ring (also known as an ace ring) worn on the middle finger of one’s right hand is a way asexual people signify their asexuality. The ring is deliberately worn in a similar manner as one would a wedding ring to symbolize marriage. Use of the symbol began in 2005. Description Ends ]

When I first reblogged this, I forgot to include an image description, so I’ve edited it to include one. Also, here’s a link to the Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_symbols#Ace_ring

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Why can’t casual sex be more of a thing? Blow your mates dick! Sleep with your BFF. It’s so much safer than random hookups and without the hassle of a romantic relationship?

If you trust someone, and want to blow off steam, the idea that you can’t just fuck is bizarre? Why are casual relationships and flings such a filthy idea? There is a bond, a bed, and time.

Friendship sex 2k19

Okay everyone in the comments here’s a brief explanation of what I was on about

  • I’m aromantic, not ace.
  • I’m talking about social stigma of sexual relationships and safe sex with people you trust
  • I am NOT talking about breaching personal boundaries. If your friend isn’t interested then Don’t. If a friend is pressuring you into sex then they aren’t a good friend
  • I’m not telling ace people to have sex with friends
  • I’m genuinely only talking about casual, consensual, no strings attached, fun with friends.

I’ve reblogged an earlier version of this post, but I’m reblogging again because of the response the OP has gotten, including what even is this comments, the belief we should instead emphasise non-sexual intimacy between friends, someone talking about sexual assault, an asexual talking about how they just don’t get it and someone talking about exploring sexuality and asexuality.

It’s beyond frustrating that a non-asexual aro/allo-aro can’t make a post about casual friendship sex without … well, this. This post was not for or about asexuals, and yet this post wasn’t allowed to exist as one expression of allosexual aromanticism without some asexuals (and other folks) putting in their unwanted two cents about how this post doesn’t work for them or doesn’t cover what they need from relationships or should instead talk about something else!

If you’re asexual, allo-aro posts are not meant for you to come and talk about how you don’t understand or desire sexual relationships, sex or sexual attraction.

Not everything a-spec is for or about you.

Let us non-asexual a-specs have our own damn conversations for once, please.

OP, I’m really sorry that you had to endure this nonsense on your post. It’s not okay, especially when society takes such a dim view of what you’re describing to the extent that we only have the horrible term “friends with benefits” to name it. We need more conversations that validate allo-aros’ want to explore beyond Western society’s narrow conventions of how to go about relationships, sex and intimacy, and it’s disheartening to get this sort of response when these conversations are still few and far between.

“Im asexual and support this message”

Maybe read the post again for good measure.

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wanting and not wanting at the same time

a comic for asexual awareness week

bringing this back today for the start of pride month. still overwhelmed by how well this comic went down and with how many people relate. it’s easy to think aro-ace people are all totally accepting of their identities and really proud of who they are. i guess on websites like this you see a lot of people proudly putting their identity in their bio, a flag in their profile picture.

in fact i think a lot of aro-ace people really hate that part of themselves, hide it, and struggle for a long time to ‘accept’ who they are and feel any sense of ‘pride’. that’s the feeling i wanted to capture here. the disappointment, the loneliness, upon realising that you can’t feel what is such a wonderful thing. the embarrassment of not being ‘normal’, of being some random sexuality that nobody irl has heard of, and letting down those around you because you can’t be who they want you to be. how desperately you want to change, how desperately you want to feel. but you just can’t.

i know not all aro-ace people feel like this. i know lots of aro and/or ace people feel able to be in relationships, to feel closeness and have partners in other ways. but i think it’s important to be aware that some aro-ace people do feel like this.

the comments on this comic have mostly been great but a few have been very frustrating. a comment it got a lot was along the lines of ‘aw!! you don’t need to have sex to be in a relationship!’. you completely missed the point, hah. this is not a comic about sex. it’s about a lack of feeling, the lack of something beautiful other people seem to have. another comment that popped up a few times was ‘maybe she’s a lesbian’. well maybe lesbians and aro/ace girls have more in common than people think - maybe they both often struggle to accept that they feel no attraction to men, even though society has conditioned them to do so, sometimes spending years trying to force themselves to like men in that way, when they just can’t.

this comic is called ‘wanting and not wanting at the same time’ because she wants to love. but when it comes down to the reality, she can’t fulfil the requirements of that. she wants to love someone forever, to get married and have children and grow old with her soulmate, but she doesn’t want it with this person. or that person. or anyone she meets or will ever meet. a sort of catch 22, i guess.

hope that makes sense. thanks for listening, and have a lovely pride month ❤️

Coucou c’est moi

“she wants to love someone forever, to get married and have children and grow old with her soulmate, but she doesn’t want it with this person. or that person. or anyone she meets or will ever meet”

Well shit I didn’t need to be called out like that

I feel this so hard and often it makes me doubt my identity as ace so this is really validating. I straight up feel like I don’t know what I want. I know I want a soulmate but I am still figuring out what that would look like for me.

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Anonymous asked:

Take care of yourself, my dude. It's been real 🤙👊

X

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The February 2019 Aro Person of the Month is Bell!

Quick Stats:

Pronouns: they/them Age: 18 Romantic Identity: aromantic Sexual Identity: lesbian Tumblr URL: @aro-to-the-knee Other Social Media: @oor-bellspace (tumblr) and @bbell0193 (Bell) (Pinterest) Bell also says to interact all you want! 

Interests:

Dnd, drama podcasts, scrolling through tumblr

A Little Bit About Bell:

Tired Physics student and waiter. I like to volunteer at local kids organisation like a grumpy grandad.

Bell’s Experiences With Being Aro:

I went on a dating binge from age 9+, realising I was gay after dating a guy for 3 years and then dated every woman who showed intrest. By time I was mid 16’s the longest I had been single was a week. I just felt like I was looking for something I couldn’t find. It felt awkward and forced and every romantic gesture was uncomfortable. I kept looking at how I felt surrounded by my friends and thought I needed that but with a wedding ring. Then on Pinterest I found a post about aros was so confused cause it sounded like an ace thing but I started looking it up and I realised the reason I kept dating people was I thought that was what I needed. I’ve been single for over a year now and I love it so much. I can just do what I want and there’s no weight holding me down or feeling like I’m lost.

~~~

Congrats again Bell!!! Thank you also to everyone who applied - you may see yourself featured next month in March! If you would like to become the next Aro (or Ace!) Person of the Month fill out this google form here!

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Things I need the adult aromantic community to talk about more*

*specifically those who intend to be single for life.

1) how to get a good mortgage and buy your first home as a single person.

2) how, exactly, do estate taxes work you intend to leave everything to siblings/cousins and are cousins considered distant relatives?

3) how to deal with the increased cost of health insurance when you are not/don’t plan on marrying.

3a) how much extra will I have to spend on all insurances in general by being single?

4) banking in general while single: how to get benefits from banks similar to those that married couples receive.

5) does family leave at work include siblings/parents or is it limited to spouses/children?

6) how to ensure the right people are making medical decisions for you in the case of an emergency.

7) single parent adoption?

8) single parent IVF (and how to deal with insurances denying you for being single).

9) raising a child as single parent.

There are a lot more but…you know. These are all things I really wish I knew right now.

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saltyaro

I’m not able to answer all of this, but I do have some answers. I’ve seen an american answer in the notes, so I’ll try with a European one (I’m French but it’s going to work for most european countries). 

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Anonymous asked:

r u ok?

Oh yeah- the blog just isn’t for me. It was really nice for a while- I got lots of momentum and was interacting with blogs and creating good content but now I just seem angry all the time and the whole blog seems to just revolve around how it sucks to be aro or the same 3 positivity posts. I just don’t feel the same drive?

Tbh I’ve never been shamed or faced any issues for being aro outside of tumblr- my friends are super understanding (To clarify I know others face issues such as being taken of meds and abuse I’ve just been lucky). But my friend recently discovered tumblr brand Pan discourse which made me think about the content I’m making and whether it really means anything.

Starting to feel gross just being on tumblr not gonna lie.

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reblogged

Stuck in a constant loop of ‘it’s nice that content warnings are being normalised so that people don’t accidently subject themselves to things’ and ‘Why do I have to give content warnings for my existence?’

To specify I’m talking about tagging things like sex for the sex repulsed and the policing of alloaro folks self expression.

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