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Rascal, I watched as you took your last breath today. It happened so fast, you were fine last night, and now you are gone. I wish I could hold you one last time, have you sit in my lap, beg for treats. I wish I would see your face as you greet me when I come home. But now you are gone. Ill never get to hold you again, Ill never get to play with you. I wish you would give me one last annoyed growl. I just wish I could hold you one last time. You were the best dog I could have asked for. I still remember the day you were brought home. You were so tiny, you were the size of my hand and you loved to cuddle. Im always going to miss you. Your sister is going to miss you. I love you so much rascal. I love you so much.

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arohk

I’m sorry for your loss and I love you. Rascal is with Loki playing across the Rainbow Bridge now. They are both happy and okay and with everyone we love. You’ll be together again someday.

Rest in peace, baby.

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nowhere in the 12 steps does it say to not drink, that’s not actually one of the steps. loophole.
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arohk

Okay but the whole Sarah Lynn thing tore me a new hole in my heart. I just had to say that somewhere other than my personal blog.

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claudiagray

In journalism school, you’re taught to look at a whole layout, to see how everything does or does not work together. Here are some reasons why they teach you that.

Okay, but ar least that last one is 1000% intentional.

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arohk

This stuff always keeps me laughing.

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neromyhero

A playful boy in the grass.

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arohk

Brought home my puppy a little while ago and this is another awesome picture! Just thought I would give an update since I am busy pretty much every second of the day now, haha. He’s adorable and so well behaved and I love him. Come check out the new pictures if that’s your thing!

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debrides

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

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mirab3lle

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

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agrestenoir

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

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artwlw

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

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youlovelucie

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

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spacecores

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

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pazeley

I have the bags

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jxhn-mulaney

working at Starbucks, we’re trained to say thank you to customers when we hand out drinks. I was in DC once and I gave a dollar to a homeless man and when he said thank you I said thank you back to him

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calciseptine

i worked at a bank several years ago and was trained to use power words such as absolutely, definitely, and certainly. i cannot tell you how often a friend asks a favor of me and i say, in my customer service voice, “i can absolutely do that for you!” i just accept it at this point.

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arohk

I live for posts like these.

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reblogged

the au you all asked for

omg thank you all for the positive feedback!! Some of you wanted a little more shoujo action so here you go:

He maybe doesnt have a nose, ears and fingers and easily gets a sunburn but all what matters is his warm heart! Why dont you see that he is perfect for you, Spongebob? God I hate shoujo heroines!

Dont get me wrong, I love Sponjibobu wa maid-sama but Squidward is an asshole. He is only nice when Mr. Krabs is looking!

Do you remember when Squidwards heart got possessed by a demon but then Spongebob appeared and saved him? As you know I dont ship them but wow THAT was a good episode.

“I believe in you, Tentaculu-kun.”

Im so glad Plankton didnt reveal Pantsu-chans identity. He might be a villain but at least he has some integrity.

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arohk

It’s okay, I didn’t need to live anyway.

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