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Just Will

@will-zeke-thomson / will-zeke-thomson.tumblr.com

Nothing special, just a modest guy with a lot of likes. Video games, detective shows, anime, comics, various shows, writing, cooking, working out, reading. Like I said nothing special, I'm Just Will and I'm just a guy that likes a lot and likes to comment on things. Glad to meet ya.
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nyodrite

Okay but like what if all the Weasley children went to school at the same time as Harry? Or what if Ron was the eldest Weasley child and one of the others were Harry’s age?

Ohhh you know what would have 100% changed everything?? If CHARLIE was in school with Harry.

Chamber of Secrets gets opened, and this mysterious fucking force is wandering around killing everything- and total magical creatures nerd Charlie Weasely pipes up “well it’s obviously a basilisk!” from day one.

And instead of Harry’s parseltongue talent being shunned, Charlie would have dragged Harry to some kind of lizard symposium to see how far his abilities reached. Geckos? Iguanas? Can you talk to Dragons Harry oh my god!?

good yes and just bitty!Charlie yelling at people shunning his friend because so what if You-Know-Who could do it also Harry can TALK TO ANIMALS IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE! HE CAN PROBABLY TALK TO SEA SERPANTS! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?

And then years down the road, and the whole Goblet of Fire incident happens…

And Harry finds out he has to fight a dragon and is like “okay I can do that hey Charlie how I get a dragon to chill out?” And immediately gets slammed with 30 different books about dragon behavior and an hour long lecture.

(It totally works tho- Harry walks out and has a legit chat with a massive fucking dragon in full view of everyone. “I can talk to snakes why wouldn’t I be able to talk to dragons they’re reptiles too.” And Charlie, eternally the dork, is wearing All The Griffindor Merch and cheering from the stands.)

Also, as Charlie is a total dork and Hermione is a total dork, I think Harry would end up being the Mom Friend who has to drag them away from 3 am study sessions why are you Griffindors you two are total dorks.

Okay but imagine Harry’s first “mom” moment being having to convince Charlie to write his older brothers for help with Nobert(a) because we can’t keep a dragon here Charlie - Hagrid lives in a WOODEN HOUSE!

(Also Ron and Bill frantically comming together trying to figure out wtf they’re supposed to do with a DRAGON when they have nothing to do with dragons, how does their little brother get into this kind of trouble and is this what they can expect for the rest of Charlie’s years at Hogwarts HOW ARE THE TWINS THE GOOD ONES COMPARED TO CHARLIE?!?)

Plus the Gringotts break-in/out with Charlie who’s filled with righteous fury over the dragon’s treatment

The Gringots plan that gets changed halfway through because goddamit if we’re going to break some laws we’re going to break all of the laws- and the HP gang stealing the Gringotts dragon to the utter bafflement of the entire wizarding world.

I feel like Charlie and Hermione would be awesome friends, both fighting for the rights of various magical creatures/beings while Harry is just so DONE and resigned to being an acomplice

By the time of the Gringotts break-in, Harry doesn’t even TRY to argue when Charlie turns to him and say, “Harry, we have to save that dragon. Harry we gotta

“But Harry we gotta!” Turning into a phrase that still sends shivers down the spine of Hogwarts graduates a full decade later, because they can recall the Incidents that always followed them. Including, but not limited to: That Time Hermione Granger Gave Every House Elf A Copy Of The Communist Manifesto That Time Charlie Sucker-punched Draco Malfoy In The Great Hall For Insulting BuckBeak (Which Started A School Wide Fistfight) That Time Charlie Refused To Write An Essay On How To Kill Werewolves And Spent A Week Protesting Outside Snape’s Office For Werewolf Rights That Time The Gang Tried To Steal All Of Umbridge’s Cat Plates Because She Does Not Deserve Cats (How they got the password to the headmaster’s office is still a mystery- McGonagall still adamantly denies her participation despite being the only other person who knew it) That Time Charlie Tried To Steal A Dragon From the TriWizard Tournament The Incident That Shall Not Be Spoken Of

That Time Charlie Decided The Giant Squid Was Lonely and Tried to Smuggle a Kracken

That Time Hermione Introduced Charlie to The Hobbit and He Tried Hunting Teaching the Dragons at the Triwizard Tournament to Talk

That Time Charlie Tried to get Harry to Interview Every Snake at Hogwarts

That Time Charlie Tried to Befriend the Centaurs.

The Great Mandrake Debate

That Time They Learned That Hagrid Does Not Count As Suitable Adult Supervision

The Time Charlie Wasted An Entire Period And Lost Gryffindore 50 Points Because He Started A Fight With Snape About The Ethics of Certain Potion Ingredients.

The Owlrey Incident

THAT TIME CHARLIE BEAT QUERRILMORT OFF WITH A STICK BECAUSE HE WAS ATTACKING UNICORNS HOW DARE HE

That Time Charlie Accidentally Bonded With Filch

That Day Charlie Went Around With Mrs. Norris Riding On His Shoulder

That Time Charlie Defeated Fluffy With Bellyrubs

…i would be defeated in such a way

Same

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sumigakure

Okay, I swore I would never bait you guys, but dammit. This. I. What? Please.

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arrowsbane

Okay, oops. Wrong blog.

I'm always up for new twists and takes on the HP series. More often than not they do it better than the original source material.

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This was supposed to just be a quick a sketch but that is not what ended up happening…

It’s a scene from For Rust and Gold by @blackkatmagic because it’s fantastic and I couldn’t resist drawing bb Gaara meeting BB Team 7 and it kinda ended up getting away from me…

Unfinished and discontinued it was still an interesting concept and really looking at everything Kiba was one of the most emotionally normal of them all.

No big family drama like Hinata and Neji

No pressure from being the next head of a clan like Choji, Shilamaru, or Ino because he had an older sibling

No crush or unhealthy love towards an emotionally unstable individual like Sakura

Not an orphan like Lee, Tenten (maybe?), and Naruto

And actually expresses his emotions unlike Shino

Sad it never got finished but still an excellent idea and great artwork here.

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Male Protagonists to Avoid in your Writing:  An Illustrated Guide.

1.  The Edward Cullen (i.e. the glorified stalker)

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How to spot him:

He’s gorgeous.  Brooding.  Bejeweled with countless sequins.  He stresses over and over again that he and the female protagonist have a “connection,” are “soulmates,” or something else that you’d generally expect to hear from that one creepy kid who used to stare at you in class.  Similarly, in true creep fashion, he uses their supposed connection as an excuse to blatantly stalk her, and is narratively treated as nothing short of a romantic in spite of it because he’s attractive (and sparkly) enough to pull it off.

Examples:      

In the Twilight Saga, Edward is canonically over one hundred years old, making it extra creepy that he’s A) hanging around a high school for no particular reason, and B) dating a seventeen-year-old girl.  He uses derogatory terms about past lovers, attempts suicide when Bella tries to break up with him, and shows up at her home uninvited to watch her sleep.  Moreover, his systematic isolation of Bella from her friends and family is all-too reminiscent of real life abusive dynamics.  

How to avoid him: 

  • Read up on signs of abuse in a relationship.  This is a good thing to do anyway as a means of self-education, but it’s also important for writers who plan to include romantic subplots.  A good one to start with can be found here, at least in terms of emotional abuse: https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/10/13/21-warning-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/.
  • Try to avoid a blatant power imbalance.  Edward is stressed to be older, stronger, more experienced, and more intelligent than Bella.  Sometimes power imbalances are unavoidable due to species differences, but this can be countermanded by giving the human love interest qualities that make them valuable in other ways.
  • Overall, if you’re attempting to portray a healthy relationship, try to base it on an equal exchange of power and mutual respect.

2.  The Christian Grey (i.e. the glorified rapist)

How to spot him:

When I first found out that the 50 Shades of Grey franchise was originally Twilight fanfiction, I initially (incorrectly) presumed it to be a joke.  After I’d come to terms with the fact that it was not, my next thought was that it made perfect sense, because Christian is literally Edward Junior on steroids:  the same abusive brand of stalker who gets off on a blatant power imbalance, with the added unpleasantries of excessive wealth and bad BDSM etiquette.  Oh, yeah.  And he’s a rapist.    

Examples:

Christian disregards Ana’s request for a condom, stating “her body belongs to him,” threatens punishment when she refutes his attempts to discretely grope her in public, and at one point, ignores her safe word.  Throughout the book, Ana is pressured into sex she feels uncomfortable with.    

How to avoid him: 

  • If you’re going to write about BDSM, actually study BDSM etiquette.
  • Healthy BDSM relationships are forged on mutual trust and a consensual, mutually beneficial exchange of power.  Even if you are writing about BDSM, if you intend to write about a healthy relationship, be sure to base it off of these values. 
  • Just because a character is dominant doesn’t mean they need to be emotionally callous;  Christian completely neglects Ana’s emotional needs, such as her aftercare (i.e. the period of tenderness recommended after BDSM sessions to compensate for the emotional and physically taxing task of surrendering one’s power.)
  • In short, don’t use kink as a means of excusing emotionally unhealthy and abusive dynamics.       

3.  The Ross Geller (i.e. the entitled “nice guy”)

How to spot him:

He thinks his hot female friends (and only the hot ones, mind you) are owed to him because he’s “nice,” romantic, and intelligent.  However, upon closer scrutiny he really isn’t a particularly nice guy (i.e. he bullied his sister Monica and benefits from enjoys her emotionally abusive parents’ favoritism), is self-centered, and consistently places his needs ahead of her own.

Examples:  

The minute Rachel begins to find self-fulfillment in her career, Ross becomes jealous and hounds her at work, accuses her of “not having enough time for (him),” and generally tries to make her feel guilty for being successful and having priorities other than him. 

How to avoid him: 

  • Again, I cannot stress this enough:  mutual respect.  This is literally the foundation of all successful relationships, fictitious or otherwise.
  • Have your male characters support their significant other’s decisions and allow them to be happy for their success.  
  • Your male character’s significant other is allowed to do things that don’t necessarily involve him.  Make sure he understands that.
  • Intelligence in and of itself does not make a character a better person than his fellows, and intelligence does not have to equate the superiority with which Ross appears to associate himself.   
  • Just look to the healthier couples Friends churned out in its time:  Monica and Chandler, for example, love and respect one another’s goals, and are no the less interesting and hilarious because of it.  

4.  The Sheldon Cooper (i.e. the annoying autism stereotype)

How to spot him: 

He’s a bloated paragon of autism stereotypes.  He’s got zero regard for the feelings of his friends, considers himself superior to everyone, and is incapable of talking about anything but his own interests.  As someone who’s on the spectrum myself, he’s basically my personal pet peeve.

Examples:   

“His spot” on the sofa, his need to knock three times before speaking to the person on the other side of the door, etc.  These are stereotypical and inaccurate portrayals of some autistic people’s comfort in routine.   

How to avoid him: 

  • Research symptoms of Asperger’s in adults (and for god’s sake, stay away from Autism Speaks.)  Similarly, try and learn from actually people with Asperger’s, as anti-autism, “cure”-based sentiment tends to run high in allistic academia.  
  • Study the mannerisms of famous people who may have been on the spectrum, such as Albert Einstein, Allan Turing, Leonardo da Vinci, and Sherlock Holmes’s inspiration, Joseph Bell.
  • If you’re not ready to depict an autistic character, I’m going to say wait.  It’s okay to admit to ignorance, and it’s okay to wait to do more research before depicting a certain subgroup.        
  • Try to avoid inserting autistic symptoms into characters to use as comedic fodder.  
  • Asperger’s coded (and confirmed, by creators and cast) characters like Temperance “Bones” Brennan (Bones) and Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) have their stereotypical moments, but they’re still successfully presented as lovable, intelligent, and productive characters;  look to them to see better representation of intelligent, autistic characters in mainstream television.  

5.  The John Winchester (i.e. the abusive parent with a redemption arc)

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How to spot him:

The John Winchester is a textually abusive or otherwise toxic parent who damages his children’s lives for his own purposes, inflicts emotional or physical harm, and is shown or mentioned to be violent, controlling, and/or neglectful.  However, his redeeming/sympathetic qualities or otherwise heroic actions lead him to be narratively treated as a benevolent character and “good” parent. 

Examples:  

In Supernatural, John leaves his boys for weeks on end in motel rooms, sometimes over important holidays (and keep in mind that this was in the 80s and 90s, when child sexual abuse was at an all-time high.)  He often places his eldest son as the soul caregiver of his other child, despite the fact that he was a child too at the time, and left them both alone with loaded firearms. He also uses unfairly harsh punishments, such as leaving his young son alone at a boy’s home for an entire summer because he stole food for himself and his brother.  His son literally, unironically realized he was being possessed by a demonic entity when it said it was proud of him. 

How to avoid him:    

  • Educate yourself on the different definitions of abuse (emotional, verbal, physical, etc.) and what qualifies as each.  Psychology Today is a great resource for this (they have some rudimentary definitions here:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/child-abuse.)   
  • Feel free to endow abusive parents with sympathetic qualities (in fact, please do;  100% evil characters tend to be campy, boring, and/or unintentionally hilarious) but be aware that no sympathetic qualities negate or justify child abuse.
  • Please, for the love of God, don’t use the “he was doing his best” excuse as a resolution.  Many abusive parents legitimately are doing their best, and many abused children are acutely aware of this.  It really doesn’t provide much comfort.
  • Remember that abused children frequently refuse to turn on their parents, often defending them long into their adulthood.  The child’s forgiveness does not equate the parent’s redemption.  
  • Similarly, I’d personally recommend staying away from the “I can finally forgive him” trope as well;  it’s done to death, and often frustrating to real-life survivors. 

Before the Meninsits™ come for me about this, I am going to be writing a list of female character archetypes as well, and then make lists of positive attributes to include in male and female characters, respectively, to provide a counterpoint.  I might also make a part two of this post for all the other characters I hate, because I fear it would get too long. 

In the meantime, there will be essays like this published at least once every other week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future writing advice and observations!

8/7/17:  Updating with the link to the female counterpart post, because people keep asking me for it.  Read it here!  

Very good writing advice and please I hope people take it seriously because all these guys are just awful in all different ways that makes me want to gag.

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Signs as deep quotes

Aries: “Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.”

Taurus: “Show up in every moment like you’re meant to be there.”

Gemini: “You can’t do epic shit with basic people.”

Cancer: “Cry a river. Build a bridge. Get over it.”

Leo: “If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal.”

Virgo: “I like people who smile when it is raining.”

In case that link breaks again:

Aries: “Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.”

Taurus: “Show up in every moment like you’re meant to be there.”

Gemini: “You can’t do epic shit with basic people.”

Cancer: “Cry a river. Build a bridge. Get over it.”

Leo: “If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal.”

Virgo: “I like people who smile when it is raining.”

Libra: “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”

Scorpio: “I am learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me.”

Sagittarius: “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

Capricorn: “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”

Aquarius: “There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.”

Pisces: “Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.”

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Hey, Just_Will from AO3.

First: wanted to say I hope you're doing good for the reasons you told me about, and second I hoped to cheer you up with this idea I had about your Whispers AU with Danny and that when it comes to giving Jason gifts he can't be beat.

I imagine the kids are all competitive about getting each other the best gift for everything because they're just like that and when Danny learns of this and because he and Jason have "a connection" he goes Extra(tm) for him. Jason's first birthday with the family? Danny uses the Infini-map, some help from Clockwork, and a lot of help from Alfred to take Jason and the family to merry old England for a ready of Pride and Prejudice... by Jane Austin herself. He fan boys and makes noises that a grown man shouldn't be able to make and he just has a great time with it. Simple but he just loves it. Danny wins the gift giving for that year and when they're leaving Dick mentions that it will be hard to top next year. Danny smirks though and next year? Jane Austin's ghost has written a personalized novel specifically for Jason whom just about dies all the way. Needless to say Danny is his favorite now and no one can ever top his crazy gifts not that the rest of the kids don't try their damndest to do so.

It was all just a fun idea I had and I hope you liked it. I may have to try to actually write this one day when I get the time but for now I just hope life is going well for you and this made you smile at least.

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Thanks for checking on me. Things still aren't great on that front - have received less than 1/3 of what work owes me regarding my missed wages. Boss' response was "Give it time. We're working on it." The reason they gave me regarding what was going on was supposedly resolved on Wednesday which is when I got the partial payment... so they don't have an excuse anymore. I'm hoping to speak with a lawyer this week about my options.

That did really make me smile. Jason would be dumbstruck that someone spent so much time and effort on something for him. He'd so try to arrange a trip to the Watchtower for Danny as a thank you because the men in the Wayne family can't figure out how to communicate. Seeing if Superman would give Danny a tour of the Fortress of Solitude would be a tempting alternative too since he basically has a zoo of alien creatures.

If you do end up writing that, I'd love to read it.

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Ok so I have been having WAY too many thoughts about this and the whole idea that this family is so super competitive with everything makes the idea of them having this unofficial "who gives the best gift" way too much fun. Combine that with Danny having access to time and space shenanigans and an ego to prove himself and you get a lot of crazy stuff and a lot of the family get him some crazy and great stuff too.

For example:

Frome Danny he tends to either give gifts to special places through space and time (Clockwork doesn't mind so long as they abide by the rules of time) or bring things that wouldn't be missed and affect the timeline or just things that were lost to the ages/Zone.

In order of age we have

Alfred: takes him back to be a star performer in a Shakespeare play, the man is impressed saying Alfred does it so well its like he'd been doing it for years! (Bonus points if the play was a very recent publish)

Bruce: he goes back in time and on a date night close to the deaths of his parents (to avoid messing things up) he has a booth set up offering "new found technology that will change the world!" And its just a disguised camera that records "a message for their future son" and they find the idea charming and do it and so record a message saying "we hope Bruce grows up strong, handsome, has kids who love him, honors the family legacy, helps Gotham, and makes the world better". Danny records it and says he will send them the film when it's done (it's digital of course but they die in a few days as is their fate). He gifts the recording to Bruce and the man just tries to remain stoic but just bawls and sobs at it in joy and just hugs Danny before everyone else hugs him too. Danny doesn't ever try to top that gift for him and later gifts are much less emotional.

Barbara: this one is hard. I don't know much about her but working with Tucker, his parents' stuff, and a lot of fiddling he creates a super wheelchair for her that runs on ectoplasm, can generate weapons from seemingly nowhere, can become a minor mech suit, and if she is ever knocked out of it it can put up an electrified barrier of 10 million volts to any who touch it (looking at the clown there) until someone verbally speaks a password so if she does get knocked unconscious someone can still get to her. The thing is top tier Fenton Tech and he also gifts her the blueprints and coding for anything she might want to tinker with. If there's something else better I'm not sure, I don't know her too well sadly.

Dick: he takes him back to his parents' first performance together as a newlyweds. He also cries and Danny is sure to take video and pictures for him.

Jason I already did so I'll go for Tim: now he is hard because I'm not too sure about him but I think a "photo safari" through various worlds would be hard to top and a good one.

Cass: similar to Alfred he takes her to a very special ballet. I unfortunately know nothing about that so someone will have to fill in the blanks there for her.

Steph and Duke I really don't know enough about sadly so I can't offer them anything. If someone can give me a few of their hobbies, dreams, likes though I'm sure I could come up with something.

Now Damian? He's a fun one. I imagine the Zone being infinite there is a place where a zoo exists similar to the one in Superman's fortress. It houses the last few species of every creature that has gone extinct. They are all alive though and preserved by Clockwork's time powers and so live the rest of infinity in this zoo run by Zookeeper (because everyone has a lame name and I'm too deep here already to think up something better). Besides taking him there Danny also offers a "special ticket" that allows Damian to come and visit any time he likes as he's shown to be very fond and good with all the animals and Zookeeper adores him.

Now after it is shown no one can really top Danny in gift giving (Damian also once got a 13th century sword for crying out loud!) Everyone tries to get him the best gifts each time there's a round of it.

For them the best gifts he got are:

Alfred: a free meal and dessert of his choice whenever he wants, only stipulation is a 12 hour period before so he can get it all together.

Bruce: access to a tailor for his needs all on his money. Listen: I truly believe Danny will grow up to be a giant of a man even taller than Bruce and maybe even close to 7 feet tall (you will have to pry #Tall_Danny out of my cold lifeless hands) and thats not going to be an easy thing to shop for so having clothes made to fit his frame is going to be a blessing.

Barbara: "oh you know that highly anticipated video game you are looking forward to next year?" Hand delivers it, all the DLC with it, fixed numerous bugs they missed, added a few things as Easter eggs, and made a custom skin that looks like him.

Dick: best gift Danny gets from him is his own motorcycle when he turns 20. Sure he can fly but there's nothing like the feel of an engine under you sometimes. That or he helps him get and pays for his pilot license so he can legally fly a plane, jet, helicopter, or whatever I don't know how it works so this is hand wavy here.

Jason: now his gifts are amazing because they're adventures and experiences and not always for a special occasion but are "just because" type things. He takes Danny on a mission to help him get experience in the hero world. Learning drug busts, taking down human traffickers, and he even calls in favors to take Danny on some Green Lantern missions to other worlds. Sometimes it's just camping or having a bonding day at a space museum or observatory and pretending to be normal. The point is these two have good times together when Jason gives his gift. Now do they sometimes end up with torn clothes, fire, swollen eyes, blood, and on one occasion a monkey picking fruit out of Jason's hair while Danny's was still smoking from being on fire? Yes, but it's still a good time.

Now Tim he gets him tickets to shows, premiers, and even got him access to a NASA rocket launch and to meet the astronauts and everything. He won that round.

Cass is an interesting one to think of because she is so aware of people that I think her gifts would be all about things Danny needs at the time. Needs help with homework? "Kidnaps" someone she knows is good in that area and drops them off on his doorstep. Is being a bit overrun with ghosts? She's there. Point is I think she wouldn't really give gifts at a given time but give IOUs that are cashed in when she sees you need them. Otherwise she gives things like neat trinkets and things she sees while she's out doing stuff around the world. One such occasion was a hat made from alpaca fur that is the warmest thing he has ever owned.

Now gifts from Steph are all funny and tailored to Danny's sense of humor. Mugs, shirts, socks, ironic posters, I'll let imaginations run wild on this one but every time he gets a gift from her he laughs. There's also a coupon for "one free prank on a jerk of your choice" in each which is why Vlad once woke up to the horrible smell of rotting cheese in his house he could never locate and how the football team found themselves in wedding dresses in the middle of the national square dancing competition in Texas (they were being real jerks that week).

Duke: ok as self appointed "sane one" he gets Danny simple stuff. A neat lava lamp, geek merch, hero merch, and one time got him a picture frame that had stars and space themes on it with a picture of the two of them and a second one inside of them suited up and using their powers with a note on it saying "Powered Bats gotta stick together". I honestly would like these two to have a good relationship being the only ones with powers but that's something for another post.

Damian being the edgelord that he is offers lessons as his gifts and each time with a different weapon. Danny has no idea why he gave him a bow one time when they seem to dislike the Arrow fam but he said it was practical to know how to do anyway and Danny wasn't one to refuse. One year he got his own escrima sticks and the only one more proud of Danny when he beat Dick in a spar (he was going easier on him than he normally would because he was still learning but he was still taken down and impressed) than Damian was Jason, followed close by Bruce and then Dick.

These are typical and top level gifts for birthdays and holidays from the family and Danny honestly loves every single thing he gets because these people don't really owe him anything but they still care. And regardless or not if he is ever officially made into the Batfam he is a brother to the kids and a nephew/son to Bruce and Alfred.

There's just seriously a whole bunch of ideas from this one concept alone and I just love it so much.

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