Ocelot scritches.

that kitten sounds like a birb

Seriously just a bit of pollen could make your cat sick within a matter of minutes. Stay far away from Easter lilies if you have kitties!

Lilies, including the pollen, are FATAL to cats!

It’s nearing that time again. Remember, if you have a cat, don’t bring Easter lillies, or any in the same family, into your home!

Bong Joon-ho on the specificity and universality of Parasite (2019)

Damen:

Also Damen:

In conclusion:

Who was the man who first salted the slug

What was he thinking to try

Roaming the lands pouring salt on god’s creatures

Hoping for one which would die

Billy Joel - Piano Man

I hate this site

I hate when people I know in real life are like “haha I’m so nerdy, I’m the nerdiest person ever” in a way that implies that I, the person they are talking to, am not a nerd, when the truth is I just love things Far Too Passionately to share them willy nilly with every random human wearing an Iron Man tee shirt. You think you’re king geek? Because you like Pokemon a lot? We all like Pokemon, Dave. “ooh I’m such a dweeb, I go to conventions and like comic books” shut the hell your mouth I’ve written Les Mis erotica and I’ll do it again. Nerds trying to flex on me like I don’t understand them when the truth is I tower so high above them, looming forth on 600k words of published fanfiction. 

One time a man tried to explain the Hobbit movies to me, to me, he tried to explain those movies to me, and he seemed to think he had more opinions about them than I did. Matt, wherever you are: I shielded you from my passion. You were not prepared. And the truth is, I didn’t want to talk to you about my passions. Why should I rip open my chest so that strangers may judge my heart? And Matt, my heart says that they’re all fucking. Every single character in this movie was fucking another character, and I can tell you how and when and why and the emotional resonance of each act. AND I have opinions about the pacing. I have both, Matt. The pacing’s bad, Matt. And Thorin and Bilbo were deeply in love, you coward, you absolute fool. 

what was my point

oh right, that I’m a deep embarrassment and sometimes people in real life seem to think that I’m not because I don’t talk about fandom stuff to people outside fandom when the truth is that the most important fact about Castlevania is that Trevor is a pillow princess wait no that wasn’t the point either

oh right, it’s that I hate performative nerdiness because I get stage fright, but like that’s not inherently a bad thing 

The obvious conclusion we can take from this is that every person I’ve ever been in a creative writing class with who boldly announced as their introduction to the group that they wrote fanfic was stronger and braver than I’ll ever be, but in the way someone rushing into a burning building is. Like I admire it but you couldn’t fucking pay me.

Don’t take the bait

Also remember that the Russian Crime Empire has literally thousands of paid employees whose job it is to keep progressive voters from forming any kind of cohesive unit against their puppet President and GOP lackeys. And so far, it's been working. Smarten up, 'Merika, we only have a little time left to get this right.

It is reasonable to prefer Sanders to Warren, or vice versa. It is NOT reasonable to assume the other would be a terrible president, would ruin America, is out to push their evil agenda, or whatever other hate-based propaganda you’re going to see floating around.

They are both far-left progressives. They both want a thriving, healthy, diverse America. They both have solid plans for that to happen.

Their plans are different. They disagree on the best way to dismantle the fascist apparatus that have been slowly accumulating for decades and have snapped into power in the last few years. But they don’t disagree on whether it needs to be done.

GET THE FASCISTS OUT OF OFFICE IS TOP PRIORITY. Vote for whoever you prefer in the primary, and then vote for whoever has a chance of overturning the bigot in the White House.

a person who sorts fics by ‘completed works only’ is a person who’s been hurt one too many times

what suicidal maniac doesn’t

uh yeah mama didnt raise no fool

watch until the very end

i know this is literally just an ad for fuckin cornetto ice creams but this is precious.

hope you didn’t string that girl along too much tho, boyo :P

Vanessa Stockard – Kevin series.

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

santa’s creed

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

It’s winter, Santa is the master of parka-our.

true romance

Just so y'all know, there’s more lol