Avatar

Reaching for the stars

@darkonesdagger7437 / darkonesdagger7437.tumblr.com

I'm Hemera I post about all my hyperfixations and usually tend to spam. I also occasionally write, so please check out my AO3!
Welcome to my blog!
Avatar
Anonymous asked:

tell me about the real historical figure Marco polo

Marco Polo is famous for finding his way around the world by shouting out his own name and following when distant people from unfamiliar lands called it back to him. He did so even from across land masses as he rode on horseback, hitting a ball with a hammer, and over bodies of water like oceans and pools, hence his nickname, "Water Polo." He also invented a new type shirt that could establish at a quick glance that its wearer was a rich pretentious jerk.

Avatar
Avatar

I had accidentally kept my Stardew Valley game open when I went to sleep and when I checked it in the morning, my character suddenly had a ton of kids and it was 2 in-game years later.

Avatar
Avatar
prokopetz

I keep trying to come up with a metroidvania upgrade gimmick that's even dumber than stuff like Hollow Knight requiring you to spend a charm slot to see your location on the map, or Rebel: Trasmute making it possible to unequip your own HUD (i.e., thereby removing your health bar from the screen), but always come back to the fact that in the original PC version of Bunny Must Die! Chelsea and the 7 Devils, the opening room has to be completed while exclusively walking to the left because you need a specific upgrade to be able to walk to the right. This is a game from 2006, and the bit had already reached its ultimate form – I genuinely can't think of anywhere to go from there.

Avatar

i think i could design a better death arena for children than those hunger games amateurs.

the whole premise of the games is all pageantry. every year you get a crop of 24 candidates around whom the entire state media apparatus dedicates an entire year to building celebrity narratives. this candidate is the younger sibling of last year's winner - these candidates are young lovers forced to compete - he's smart - she's fast - root for them, care about them, watch them, form opinions on them, bet on them. and then they stick them all in an arena to kill each other, which is a great entertainment premise, except that they make the arenas themselves really boring and generic. ooo, they're in...a forest.

it's not even an interestingly designed forest. imagine if the game designers treated their arena like an actual video game designer treats level design. discrete zones with multiple paths between each room, creative use of lighting to guide players to points of interest, points of interest scattered across the map, discoverable resources hidden to encourage exploration. instead they just have a generic outdoors location and if you get too close to the edge they throw a random fireball at you.

the 75th games are especially bad about this. the arena is laid out radially into 12 wedges, and each hour one wedge becomes especially dangerous in a 12-hour loop. as a mechanic, this is genius. it forces everyone to keep moving, making "survival by hiding" an engaging and tense viewing experience instead of someone sitting in a tree for three days. plus, it encourages players to return to the center of the arena, where travel time between wedges is short, which creates a high-value zone for players to regularly return to and conflict over. in other words, it's a mechanic which incentives players to adopt dramatic, dynamic, exciting behaviors which are entertaining to watch (not to mention it communicates geography to the audience well). but it only incentives those behaviors if the players understand what's happening, and they go out of their way not to tell the players anything! when they figure out what's going on, the showrunners spin the arena to disorient the players, like they're intentionally trying to get them to just. randomly wander the jungle instead.

this isn't even to mention how often they create undramatic, boring deaths. they plant poison berries around the arena. they supply no fresh water and no way to get it. they roll poison clouds over sleeping victims. these happen to work out in the books themselves but you have to imagine that extremely often these just result in players dying unexciting deaths.

the cardinal sin though, of course, is that nothing is done to personalize the arena for the crop of contestants that year. if i'm designing the 75th hunger games and two of my most beloved contestants famously had to cancel their wedding because of a return to the games, i would OBVIOUSLY give them a trail of, i don't know, wild game which conveniently leads directly past a well defended wedding chapel. will they hole up there for a while? hold a mock ceremony for themselves? do or receive ironic violence here? stare wistfully and move on? any of it is better television than getting attacked by generic attack monkeys. you should have a dozen of these things on the map for every single candidate. but the game makers are more interested in doing the same thing every other game has done than in telling a compelling story.

it makes me second guess enjoying the children's murder arenas at all.

Avatar
Avatar
vilea777

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

Avatar
6qubed

I mean if you wanna just loom in the corner like some kinda creature that's cool, we just don't want you getting left out

Avatar

Just found out my facebook birding group is public because my cousin (a lawyer who is not into birds) casually said to me “saw you couldn’t identify a willet the other day… pretty embarrassing”

Avatar
Avatar
charlottan

ultimately the cheesecake factory menu fails to tell a queer narrative

Check for understanding:

  1. What claim does OP make about the menu of the Cheesecake Factory?
  2. Is it reasonable to expect the Cheesecake Factory menu to meet this expectation? Why or why not?
  3. How is this post phrased? What does this phrasing suggest about the hypothetical context behind it?
  4. Why did OP make this post?

What claim does OP make

about the menu of the

Cheesecake Factory?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.