@whizz-in-my-ass / whizz-in-my-ass.tumblr.com
Alright was no one going to tell me that in the middle of the Nevada desert is an old cemetery that contains the bodies of a bunch of miners who died in a fire and next door is a haunted clown motel
Why are we still setting horror movies in generic Victorian houses in the woods when this is a real place in the world
I'd say this is an anomaly but seriously roos are sometimes nosy and just need to be in your business, OR they will fight you if you look at them funny. I love them, they're great, but they make little sense.
The fucking horror I felt in my soul of the 3 seconds it took to try to and work out what the fuck this animal was
what a way to end pride month
You can lead a horse to water, you can leave a horse behind, because the horse don't dance and if it don't dance it's no horse of mine
Cat Terrorizing a Doll House
if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue
how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it
Not sure what to do with this information… but gay rights!
damn dracula fucked him up worse than i realized
I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.
Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."
I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job
gshsjb
horse leaving the ballpit bcos someone peed in it :/
When I was
A young horse
My father
Took me into the plinko
To fall to superhell
Hand in unloveable hand.,…
[Image ID: a plinko horse GIF where the horse reverses, bouncing up and down. Below the horse is a clip art trampoline. end ID.]
dont worry guys he is having fun and enjoying himself :-)
