"Cant sleep?" (Brandon at Mike please~)
Sometimes, life was a little weird. And not just because he was a guardian angel in a relationship with an overworking demigod and had a list of ever-growing predetermined friendships he was entirely responsible for. Which, would be a lot of weirdness, to be fair. But, that wasn’t what bothered him.
Mike knew that an angel’s age was a complicated subject, and, it was one he tried not to think about too much. The age from when he was born til now, the age from when he was REborn til now, and then the one most angels went by. Because an angel could only age physically, when they aged mentally. The phrase “you’re only as old as you feel” was a lot more literal for them. Except… Was it?
Some things about his life here, he loved. The people in his life and his relationships with them, getting to help his charges.. having a job at all was pretty cool. And he loved the cool night air on this balcony, and the warmth of the mug he wrapped his hands around to keep his fingers warm. But… Maybe some things… Were just a little.. off.
His thoughts were interrupted by the soft sound of the glass door sliding open, and he offered Brandon a little smile as he stepped out. Suddenly he wished he’d had another mug of cocoa here to offer him.. “want some?” He asked quietly, sliding the drink in his direction a little, but drawing it back when Brandon declined.
“Can’t sleep?”
He half smiled and looked out at the world around them, a kind of sadness creeping in. “I had a lot to think about.” He settled for.
Brandon’s eyes showed a glint of concern. “Like what?”
For a moment, Mike stayed quiet, now looking down into the chocolatey drink in his hands. “Brandon? …. Do you think I’m immature?” He glanced back up at him now, no smile left on his face. “It’s okay if you do, I won’t be up- well. I won’t be offended at least. It’s just… I know some people- other guides- don’t like the way that I do things. And I know I’m still new compared to them and maybe it’s just an experience thing but.. They don’t take me seriously either. Even my family don’t really. And you know how much I love them, I would never say anything bad about it but- … They are always calling me the baby, you know? Baby brother, baby of the family… And I get that, but, still.”
He left a long pause hanging for a moment, eyes moving around but not really settling anywhere for long.
“When I died.. I wasn’t actually… Old enough to be harvested. They made an exception for me, I mean, it’s not something they haven’t done before, but, you know, people remember that kind of thing. And they.. well, it’s complicated, but, when they have to make you a new body to be in..” He laughed and leant one arm up on the railing, to rest his head in that hand. “This must all sound so weird to you, but, they make you a body and then, you spend a while learning stuff and growing your wings and whatever else. And, with me, they made me older than I was. So I could blend in or something I guess. And they said that, when I actually got older in my head, my body would follow.” Now his eyebrows pulled together, and he looked back down into his mug again. “But I don’t look any different.” He watched the steam flow lazily upward for a moment. “I mean… I feel different, I think. I’m responsible, o do my job, I live on my own- mostly~ I’m not a kid anymore. But how could anyone else know that? They can’t look at me and see that I’m older, and it seems like any angel I meet, it’s just a matter of time before they realise who I am. I… I don’t wanna talk badly about them but, I’m a little sick of people treating me like a kid. Yesterday, some guide in another region called me a pumped up twerp! What’s what about??” Now he looked at Brandon briefly, holding that look he had when he got worked up by something. Thankfully, it quickly faded.
“I wanna believe they’re wrong, I want to tell them that, right to their entitled, smug, turned out little faces. But then, I go home and the people I love act like I’m a kid too. And, I kinda like it, when it isn’t dad thinking he’s the boss of me. I’m no good at landings, my wings are smaller than everyone I know and I know they’ll get bigger but that’s not the point. I get scared at night if there’s a noise in the house, and then… All I want is mom to come fix things. And she’s really gentle with me, like, more than the others. Like I’m too little to treat the same way. And then at the end of it all, what do I do? What do I when I’m troubled by the whole thing? I make hot cocoa and eat marshmallows. Or- I do what I did tonight and realise I already ate all the marshmallows last night and didn’t buy more, so that kinda sucks.” He tilted his head towards Brandon, hoping to lighten the mood a little.
“I just… Wonder sometimes if they’re right, you know? I look, I mean what, 19, 20 maybe? Older? But, I can’t know for sure that’s what I am. I do childish things and I get all excited at the holidays.. But it’s not like I don’t do grown up stuff too, I mean, I’m a mental health worker, a social worker, support worker, recon.. guy, all in one! I take my job seriously and I work hard at it, find out what people need and try to make it happen. It’s just not great when this thing follows me around. As soon as someone thinks I’m challenging them or questioning them it’s all “kid” this and “butt out” that and “go play with your little friends”. How about Lay off, Sarah?! How bout that?“
He sighed a little and drew up his knees tighter. "I just don’t know if I’ll ever get them to take me seriously.”
Every bit of physical contact was somehow like a little boost of energy, and a comfort at the same time. With anyone else- at least the way his head was right now- he’d have thought this was another point against him, more evidence that he was like a child needing to be held. Except… it was always like this with Brandon. From that first contact on their blind date, when he suddenly felt that they’d make it out okay, and was ready to face it head on, to their firat kiss, where, thankfully they’d been inside, or who knows how many people would have seen his wings just, manifest themselves in an instant. All these years, and he’d never had them come out on their own like that.
But then, he’d never known anyone like Brandon before.
With a quiet glance, between other thoughts, he felt Brandon’s hand at his back and wondered. Was this a part of him being a demigod? Somethng to do with the light, like a metaphor maybe? Did everyone feel this.. energy from him? Though if they did, he couldn’t imagine how anyone could act normally around him, or especially how his co-workers could take advantage of him the way they did. How could anyone not treasure a man who had this effect on others? Someone so full of, light, energy, an aura, hope, whatever it was… Mike still found himself amazed by him all the time. More than Brandon likely knew. There was no way to really put it into the right words- or if there was, Mike hadn’t found it even now.
As Brandon hooked an arm around him, once again setting off sparks, Mike leaned in toward him and scoffed. It was obvious flattery, the assumption that any angel would be jealous or insecure towards him like that. An angel who for all Brandon knew could be the best guide Heaven ever saw. …She wasn’t, but still. All the same, it had made him laugh, so he wouldn’t argue it.
Things getting more serious again, Mike looked up at him now, watching and listening to what were already some damn good points. Maybe it was a little silly for him to have been so worked up about it, when she clearly had been a hypocrite at least. But, at least now he got to admire his boyfriend sounding so wise. Of course, wisdom was a mature trait, so.. maybe everyone was supposed to know this stuff already? Geez, now he’d gotten tangled in his thoughts again. Still looking flat and unable to hide the emotions on his face (not that he was trying to. He never had to hide with Brandon.) he looked back down at his cocoa, a very subtle and dismissive smile and head tilt at the compliments that followed. Of course Brandon would think that kind of thing about him. Although, the harvesting was a good point. And he knew it. He had for a long time. It was just.. hard to see why, when in his own eyes, he hadn’t really done anything that special. Just the same work as everyone else.
He glanced back to Brandon again, still focused on all of his words and views, but couldn’t keep his eyes there for long. It was a lot to process and think about. He’d sort of accepted the way they behaved for the most part. Of course they thought they knew better than he did, when some of them had been angels far longer than he’d even been alive for- both lifetimes combined. But… it made sense. After all, they were guides too. Even if he was wrong, shouldn’t they know how to explain it? Their whole job was to guide humans back onto a better track in life, gain their trust, teach them to make better choices… Damn. It was almost more upsetting to think about it like that. They had every tool they would need to teach him and help him improve, and yet, Brandon was right; If they didn’t even try to use those tools- which were apparently SO much better and more reliable than his- then, they were being anything but professional. But then… he’d never really realised it before. At first he felt like he was at school. Then in his placement years, it was like learning from a friend or an uncle or something. God, even when he was collecting ‘adult’ experiences, he wasn’t. His perception had been skewed right from the beginning. Which, wasn’t exactly a fault on his part, he was a kid, sort of. Of course he’d see it through different eyes. But it all meant that, he sort of forgot. It was a workplace up there. And whatever that was supposed to look like, it probably shouldn’t involve the word 'twerp’.
With a light sigh, he shook his head a little. When was he going to snap out of this? Either grow up or just, be okay with it, figure it out already. Thankfully, it seemed Brandon was full of ideas on that front too. And finally he was able to fix his eyes on him again as the conversation got a little lighter. A little smile even started creeping in as he listened. But when Brandon seemed embarressed, he sort of responded automatically, “You’ve been through a lot. It makes sense you’d want a little extra security. There’s no shame in that.” This may have been an example chosen to help him, but come on, he couldn’t say nothing. Still, hoping the comment would be enough to sink in, he left it there, not wanting to derail the man too much.
He smiled a little again at what followed. When Brandon 'jumped around’ on things, it meant he was saying what came to mind, not stopping to organise it or trying to come across a certain way. It was pure, unfiltered Brandon Thoughts. Plus, he’d never really found it hard to follow. And the thoughts he was sharing now? They pulled Mike’s eyes to his. And he couldn’t help but stare. This was how Brandon saw him… and he wasn’t wrong. It just… Hearing it the way Brandon said it. It was.. kind of amazing. He blushed a little at that last part though, and gave a nudge of his own. The flatterer returns it seems. But, he wouldn’t argue. As Brandon got a little more serious again, Mike settled in and rested his head on his shoulder.
Stuck. That was probably a good word for it. But of course, Brandon’s inspirational message was there too. More content than solemn now, Mike looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes, took a second, and in a gentle voice he said
“You sound like a poster.”
After another second he sniggered. It wasn’t a lie after all, it would work great on a poster. But after that little display of amusement, it was time to be meaningful again. “Thanks. I don’t know how much I believe in fate or meanings like that… but, at least it feels right being here with you tonight.” He stretched up to plant a quick kiss on Brandon’s cheek, and settled back into a more comfortable position against him. “Maybe I’ll tell 'em next time. I could be mature for one little conflict~ Pull the 'you suck’ card on- .. okay maybe not the 'you suck’ card, that’s childish again and I’m being just as bad as them, but I’ll hold them to the standard. They’re.. colleagues, right? Not bullies in the school yard. Maybe.. if I remind them of that, they might…” might.. think he was crying for mama. Think that only a kid would come up with that comparison. Tell him to grow up, again. He tried to refocus on the positive. Maybe they would understand it and apologise or something. But it just felt so unlikely, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He sort of groaned instead and plopped his head back onto Brandon. “Can I just call in sick forever? Say I’m allergic to jerks and walk away?”
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a-simple-rper
The corner of Brandon’s lip twitched a bit, unable to help the slight head nod to the side as Mike was sure to reassure him about his fear of the dark. It wasn’t that he was surprised that the angel would. Of course Mike would be so considerate, noticing the topic being a bit embarrassing even if he said it willingly. If anything, Mike saying it like that felt as though he was giving Brandon an out. That it’s not some silly irrational fear over nothing but low lighting, but more around the trauma of being in it. Or what could be in it.
When really all children of Apollo have this fear. It seemed to be built into them, this fear once the sun goes down. The moon’s light is a faint comfort, technically being their ‘aunt’ Artemis. He can still function just fine at night. It’s just, once the sun is gone…it’s just different.
This conversion wasn’t about Greek lore, however. He’ll be happy to fill Mike in about all that mess another time. But right now, Brandon wanted to be here for the reasons and thoughts that kept Mike up like this.
The soft smile he gave his angel, seeing the one he returned, it set a flutter in his chest. As did the surprise laugh Mike got out of him when he called him a poster! He should’ve known Mike wouldn’t miss an opportunity for a little cheekiness. He was glad. While one hand caught some fading chuckles the other hand gave Mike a light nudge. Only to feel completely relaxed again, the same arm holding Mike just a little closer as he kissed his cheek. “There’s no where else I’d rather be.” Than with him right now.
Ah yes, the classic ‘you suck’ mature card. Brandon smirked at Mike, his fingers drawing light circles around his shoulder, as he didn’t need to tell him why that probably wouldn’t work. Though it would be funny if only to see their reactions. …Another time, hopefully. As Mike called them his colleagues Brandon nodded. “Exactly. Again, I don’t know how the structure works there. But if they want to claim their professionals who also take their job seriously, then they need to act like it. With everyone. It shouldn’t matter if there’s a difference, or even what kind of difference. You’re doing the same work everyone else is and they need to respect that. And if they can’t,” Brandon paused, brows furrowing as he thought for a second. “Ah, do you all have a, um, HR?”
The groan and plop combination gave the blonde a quite chuckle, again giving the angel a gentle squeeze from the arm still around him. “You’ll have to wait until I have my PhD. Then I can write you a doctors note. Until then,” Brandon rested his head on top of his. “You’re going to have to be the professional I know you already are.”
