Me

when i get added to a group chat

The only FB post I’m willing to share

:))

retail story time: ive probably told you this before but like a year ago at work i was closing and we are like five minutes from closing the doors and leaving. it’s late. we close at 10pm during the holiday season and it was like 9:56 when this woman walks in with a shopping cart. 

now, if you work in retail, you know this sort of customer. those assholes who walk in right before you close and take their time shopping and act like they dont notice the announcements that “the store is now closed. please bring your final selection up to the front for checkout.” or that every employee is so fucking done for the night and want to get home. or that they are the only customer in the store. and when they have a shopping cart, you know they’re gonna be a while.

so a solid half hour after we are officially closed this woman comes to my register, because i am the only one open. because it’s ten fucking thirty pm and everyone else is ready to leave and ive been stuck here for eleven hours because someone called out and i was already there and a fucking idiot. 

and this woman, she’s a Suburban Mom ™ type and, like all the fucking moms who come into this store, she doesnt have a coupon because she expects us to just give it to her. and we will, if they ask. except i, after a solid hour of no customers and foolishly thinking nobody would come, had gotten rid of my coupons a few minutes before she walked in. so when she asks if i had a coupon i say no, i’m sorry, i don’t have one at the register. 

and this woman, she leans in and tells me “you know, i’m a professional psychic.” and i think “oh christ here we go”

and long island medium here, immune to the glares of the other employees who want her to just fucking pay and leave, goes on and on about this boy who loves me. we are soul mates, she says. destined to be. but there is a power keeping us apart. she mentions this “power” keeping me from mr. right several times. 

i, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to go home, reply “is it the power of me being a lesbian?”

she pays and leaves without another word.

Iron Bull pls focus

Lovely.

What a punch

This is assault and illegal. He may spew nothing but bile but his right to free speech must be protected

Ain’t nobody throwing him in prison, so his freedom of speech isn’t being violated.

Also, learn what speech is exempt from it, like, for instance, fighting words. Words that by their very utterance inflict injury, and speech that incites an immediate breach of the peace, kind of like, yknow, saying you want to exterminate all of their kind of people. Basically, talk shit get hit is 100% protected.

I swear people that yell about Freeze Peach have no idea what it means. If you provoke someone and then they act on that provication, then it’s on you, not them.

ALWAYS REBLOG NAZIS GETTING PUNCHED OUT

Law does not equal morality. Laws are literally made up. It was illegal to protect Jews in Germany during ww2. Thankfully, people think outside of the law sometimes.

If you’re willing to deal with the consequences Anything is Possible even punching a Nazi

reblog for 50 years of good luck

Also he is technically asaulting every non-Nazi he comes across (not battery) sense they would have a reasonable fear for bodily damage or death.

Of which him proudly displaying he is a Nazi would very much entail

Restroom signs got me like

This is GOLD

literally what the fuck

Plus his name was Henry and he called himself Indiana after their dog that he loved, so could even be Henrietta Jones and still call herself Indiana and NOTHING NEED CHANGE AT ALL. 

I’m a woman and my last name is Jones?? What the literal fuck

Your name is Jonesette now I’m sorry.

I get why people are Big Mad at Spielberg but did you miss where he said there’d be no problem making Indiana Jones a woman? Like sure he’s a little confused but at least he got the spirit

This is what smart home assistants are for

things from sappho to call your girlfriend