Imagine being an uber driver and while giving some teen and his uncle a ride you end up getting pulled into a hostage situation/anti government rebellion forces

Han Solo did not sign up for this

To be fair, in this metaphor, the uber driver is in trouble with the local mob boss because he was ferrying cocaine and dumped it out the window when it looked like he might get pulled over, so…

So the uber driver hooks up with the sister of the guy who first hires him, and it turns out that their dad is the Deputy Sheriff, and things go downhill even faster than previously imagined when they hit up a local truckstop for a bite to eat, fuel drop and impromptu family reunion.

Truckstop’s run by an old friend who he won his car off that one time, and the dude’s hitting on the chick he’s hooking up with and it’s like come on man, don’t do this to me but then the girl’s dad is there and he gets hit over the head and shoved into the trunk of the cop car and it’s like oh, shit. Fuck. Chewie man, don’t let them take my car!

And then the kid, who had never been off the farm before he hired you, comes back with Green Beret-level skills to bust you out of jail and his sister, who was honestly kinda preppy, straight up MURDERS the mob boss. And then you get the plans to the DOD’s biggest single piece of equipment so you go to the middle of nowhere where it’s being built and you have some trouble with the locals, but somehow the annoying nerd speaks their language and manages to impress them, so you work together to infiltrate the military base. Oh, and the kid lets himself get captured so he can talk to his dad, and after a knock-down drag-out fight, the dad realizes that he’s been played his entire adult life by the corrupt politician overseeing everything, so he chucks the politician down the maintenance shaft of said politician’s high-rise just before it gets destroyed by the rebels, led by your friend in your truck that he borrowed with the promise that he wouldn’t put a scratch on it, but he knocks off your side mirror getting out of there.

it just occurred to me that darth vader, master engineer, probably looked at the death star plans at some point and noticed the flaw, but didn’t bother to tell anyone about it because he despised everyone who was involved in the project

#krennic and tarkin: [die as a (indirect and direct, respectively) result of the death star’s flaw] #vader, who knew about that flaw and did nothing: unfortunate

“Unfortunate”

Meanwhile Vader, expert ace pilot, acts well below rank to supposedly fight off the attackers. Attackers who, as far as anyone else knows, can’t hope to do shit to the Death Star.

Convenient.

Convenient…

Unfortunately the Death Star blew up while Darth Vader was conveniently occupied off base.

Palpatine:

@threadsketchier

not to be super dramatic but I really need Luke Skywalker to be happy and safe and warm

I just died, this killed me

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this

My english teacher played the whole song in class once. I think he was trying to describe postmodernism. 

Just remember that Mark Hamil showed this to Carrie Fisher and they both couldn’t stop laughing. Its Luke and Leia Approved

List of things I want people to call Kylo Ren in Episode IX

“Brat” by Lando Calrissian

“Traitorous bastard” by Poe or Finn, probably Poe though since he’s been part of Resistance longer

“Amateur” by Anakin Skywalker’s Force Ghost

“This bitch” by Rey

“Murderer” by literally everyone else

Snow in Austria at the moment. Via u/Porodicnostablo

This broke my fucking heart

Ahmed Best

This is the post he was talking about in the video

Before the computing era, ILM was the master of oil matte painting, making audiences believe that some of the sets in the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones trilogy were real when they weren’t. They were the work of geniuses like Chris Evans, Michael Pangrazio, Frank Ordaz, Harrison Ellenshaw and Ralph McQuarrie ! Forever thank you, to their handmade art and the work of their colleagues, that made us dream of impossible worlds and fantastic places across Earth and the Universe.

There are more background paintings on this article, featuring comments by the masters/artists themselves ! 

Some of the following pieces were made by other artists 2:

exCUSE ME?!?!!??!??! TheYRE PAINTINGS?!??!!?!

SHUT UP I thought they were miniatures!!!!

It’s too beautiful. I could cry.

I love this because I’ll be watching a movie and think “how did they do that? Is that a building they built for this movie? Was it there beforehand? Is it cardboard or CGI? Is that actually some place on Earth that they’re filming?” And the answer to all of these now is “nope, that’s a painting”. I can’t believe some of the most iconic, familiar shots were paintings!

TLJ and Rian Johnson: This is Ky/o Ren. He had an idyllic childhood with two loving and involved parents. He was born healthy and able-bodied, into wealth and privilege, and was gifted with space magic. He then joined a fascist organisation for Reasons and committed a lot of war crimes. This is a very sympathetic character. You should sympathise him with because he makes sad faces and sometimes feels bad about his choices.

Me and every other audience member who had far worse childhoods but never joined any fascist organisations nor partook in war crimes: What now

this is luke skywalker

Her stupid winter coat has tiny pom-poms for her tiny head-horns I can’t even with this kid

comedic gold honestly

It seems in your anger, you  k i l l e d  her.

Reblog if you wish it could stay October year round.

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: the Entire Point ™ of the original star wars trilogy was that Luke Skywalker, the truest Jedi there ever was, did NOT follow the ways of the old Jedi and made his own way. Where his masters told him not to help his friends, not to be attached, not to try and save his father, he DID all of those things, all while staying true to himself and to the light side, using that attachment and love and care to do so. Pop culture and casual Star Wars fans all seem to ignore this fact and idealize the old Jedi ways, even while hating on the prequels, and in doing this they fail to understand the entire moral of the original trilogy. Luke Skywalker is one of the best characters in film history and him and his character arc and significance being so widely misunderstood is just an utter tragedy