The fucking link to the Wikipedia for "cylinder". Brutal.

Really confused as to how my logo changed to kermit the frog. Unless im starting to have hallucinations from lack of sleep. Still. mindfucked. 

I found someone’s tumblr logged in on this computer and all I did was change the icon

Ok wait let her speak

Please give evidence beyond “I hate them” or “I like sleeping in” or “I have to get up early”, none of which is actual evidence

Signed

an actual morning person

Night person who needs to see a doctor/get your car worked on/go to the bank/buy groceries, etc? You're gonna have to sacrifice sleep for it. Because for some reason it was decided that most places of business should open in the morning and close in the evening. Fewer and fewer places are 24/7. Wanna go for a nice stroll in the park? Tough shit, they close at sundown. Hell, want to just go for a walk in general? Fair chance of being harassed by the cops because being out and about in the dark is "suspicious" behavior. Want something that's not fast food and don't want to/can't cook for yourself? Best we can do is a diner like Denny's or IHOP. Got a loved one in the hospital you want to visit between work and sleep? Either gotta get up early or stay up late to meet visiting hours.

And let's not forget, no matter how little you actually sleep and how much you actually get done, if you're not awake during certain hours it means you're a lazy good-for-nothing. Express a desire for more places open 24/7? Selfish and entitled. Complain about how noisy your neighbors are during your sleep hours? Well you can't expect the world to tiptoe around you. But also you'd better keep it down at night because other people are sleeping!

But don't worry! There are plenty of guides on how to "fix" your sleep schedule out there! You just have to follow a strict, often disruptive routine that you can never stray from even a little or else you'll fall back to your natural sleep schedule lazy, undisciplined ways.

And at that, good luck finding a job that doesn't expect you to be in by 9 AM at the latest. Which means getting up at 7:30 AM at the latest, earlier if you have a commute. Which means getting to bed at 11:30 PM at the latest.

Which means night owls have a straight choice between self-employment/freelance work, with all its insecurities, or constant self-torture. (Oh yeah, sleep deprivation does count as torture, per the UN.)

i can’t believe i fell for it

This was actually pretty clever

This is some next generation bullshit fuck me

I want you all to know that i hate everyone

I love it

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

#yeah that's not how you're supposed to hike. slowest hiker takes the lead#the group's gotta match their pace anyways you need to make sure you don't lose them#especially since if they're breathing hard they may not be able to call out to warn the others they're falling behind#also. that way they can call breaks when they need by just coming to a halt

#if the rest of the group gives them shit for it that's the groups failing#you gotta set the bar at the lowest level of the group. if that's too low for some people you've got too wide a range of abilities#note that sometimes shit will happen and thats okay

#i once had a lowkey asthma episode 15km deep into a mountain trail with no phone service. during a heatwave. on an uphill section#the trail was fucking covered in mosquitos and blackflies. my sibling did NOT appreciate how often i had to stop to gasp for air

#and when it was all over and i apologized for the bug bites guess what! they admitted they'd overreacted and apologized for being an asshol#because rushing your hiking partners just makes their situation even worse

Hiking isn't for going as fast as you possibly can, it's for enjoying the natural world...

Yes to every addition here but wrt to the “is there a name for this phenomenon” hi I’ve organized and led a number of hikes for adults and children alike and there’s definitely names for these but the ones that stuck with me are “the caterpillar effect” and “asshole lead”

The ol' human cuntipede.

"My childhood was so awesome. Kids today don't even know!"

Isn't a flex.

It's a lament.

More people should understand that.

Cereal boxes had toys inside.

Yes, it was a crass marketing for a sugar cereal made of chintzy plastic

Today you're just expected to eat Capn Crunch because that's what you do as a child, that's what breakfast looks like. Which is... fine, I guess. Sugar still tastes good. That's still a pleasure you're otherwise asked to disavow by the protein shake nutribottles advertised on podcasts.

But it also means the idle minor joy of getting a random toy present, as a reward for nothing, just because you exist, is stripped. That random spark of joy is gone, replaced with nothing.

Where did the public pool go? the neighborhood park? the atrium food court public place to gather?

Same thing. All of them were just replaced with nothing.

Kids today have many good things. But it shouldn't be a trade off. They should get to have instant messages with friends and go skating at the park. They should get to play amazing modern video games at home and go trick or treating for halloween. They should be able to have stickers and markers and macaroni art as well as youtube and streaming libraries and fortnite dances.

Fun should be allowed at every level.

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

Thank you for your patience, tumblr. I have been at work all day but now I am home and ready to build this horse you asked for.

First, let's pull up the poll results alongside an average looking horse. I have calculated the size of each part of our horse in relation to Average Size.

Next we will adjust our horse's components according to the specifications.

Finally, let us properly assemble these parts and see how it looks.

And there you have it. Great work team. No notes.

wait this is such a perfect use of my pony model

-> ponyy model with armature

-> edit and add hair

and the beautiful reveal

Ideal work schedule:

Yeah this can't be left in the notes

"in hindsight, picking brain of another scientist might've been a mistake."

is this a good time to tell everyone about the time my parent joined a polycule with people a decade younger than him and the worst part of it was that he became a swiftie for a year

okay so. set the stage. 2023. my parent is 40 years old. he enters a serious relationship with two other men, becoming a parent to their toddler. they talk about moving in and having children together, i refer to these men as my stepdads and their kid as my sibling. they're late 20s and early 30s respectively. the age gap between me and the 30 year old is the same as the age gap between the 30 year old and my parent; this is odd, but they're both very nice. they help me set up the insurance for my first car and attend my graduation. i care for them both deeply.

another fun fact: they're both die-hard swifties. taylor swift tattoos, taylor swift bumper stickers, parties are taylor swift themed. not only are they swifties, they're gaylors, on par with the satire video of the "straight sex at the gay pride parade". it's a bit odd to me, but they're good people otherwise, and i don't have any particularly strong feelings about her (she's a good businesswoman and a good song artist, i think she's had a big advantage over others with her parent's money and support and i don't like the constant jet flights but other than that she's. fine)

until one day, i bring up how funny it is that some people think she's gay to my parent, who has historically been ambivalent to her. he is no longer ambivalent to her. he begins unloading every reason why taylor is Definitely a gay woman who was in a deep sexual and romantic relationship with her close friend. this is deeply out of character for him. i disentangle myself from the conversation once i realize that he has honeymoon phase blinders on for both his new boyfriends and for, inexplicably, taylor allison swift.

the most hilarious part, however-- they broke up a few months ago (and it should be noted that despite the age difference, he was in no way at fault and stayed very mature through the whole thing, it simply wasnt meant to be) and he has begun. i'm struggling to find the words-- deprogramming? from taylor swift? he's deeply disappointed with her newest album and has begun saying that he thinks that she's been doing something similar to queerbaiting (???) and that it's cruel of her to lead on her queer fans and let them think that she's a lesbian.

anyway. all of this is a very interesting look into the complex webs we weave, and i think the takeaway should be that you should never date people ten years younger than you who are deeply and parasocially attached to taylor swift, since it's probably a symptom of larger issues at play which will lead to a messy threeway breakup in which you have to inform your brother that you don't, in fact, want him to be a sperm donor for your "queer commune" anymore.

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

me seeing a mutual's happy post: "hell yeah buddy :)" *hits like*

me seeing a mutual's sad/vent post: "aww no buddy :(" *hits like*

the smallest artist i listen to? probably the bird outside my window

im not familiar with that movie but ive heard of its homosexuality