❝ papercuts

@slayeoff / slayeoff.tumblr.com

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slayeoff

As it almost always happens, she finds herself alone. And, as per usual, she finds herself alone because of a mere habit, a whim. It is much too blatant that the confines of her cozy space is something she most definitely yearns for at any given time of the day, but so it happens that today she would've done anything to get home sooner.

By definition, a birthday is supposed to be a joyous moment in one's life. To her, though she had relished the company and the cacophony it brought for a short while, it equated trouble and fatigue. Thus, after having performed the expected role of the birthday girl, displaying many saccharine smiles and bowing down to her knees so often that her back hurt, the woman found the courage to bail, forsaking the scene of the crime.

Thus, she finds herself alone. But yearning a celebration that is hers and hers only. And for that, she has a cure.

Bottle of vodka and glass in one hand and the side of her lengthy dress in the other, Taeyeon stomps her feet almost spitefully against the stairs leading towards the rooftop. Carelessly, she flings the door open and inhales sharply once the chill hits her. It is supposed to be spring.

The dark coat on her shoulders flies with the breeze and tangles with the brightly colored fabric of her gown. Her hair splays on her face in complete disarray.

The black of her eyes follows a trail north and a sigh escapes her lips once they catch sight of the buzzing stars spilled all over the ink of the night. A genuine curl of her lips. Now that's a proper birthday

The stars are bright- seemingly, for her.

And in a matter of seconds, as she focuses her gaze back on the cold glass in her hands, she catches a glimpse of something that doesn't belong in her picture perfect jubilation. The stars fall off the edge of the world and so does the bottle in her hand. While rushing towards the crouched, shriveling figure, Taeyeon barely registers the fact that no breaking sound comes from the glass hitting the concrete.

A huff.

Apparently, the day might end in a lucky undertone. Not taking into account the man in distress on her rooftop, at night.

Without any regard for her safety or social conduct, pushing past dismay and tremor, she closes the distance and cups the man's face into her cold hands.

"A-are you hurt?" Adrenaline speaks for her with an uneven tone.

It's dark outside, but the stars are bright.

It aids her understand. And understand she does, when she feels the dampness between her fingers.

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ofkngs

“Hyuna?”

Yukwon peers up at the woman whose hands feel comparatively much warmer than him. His head keeps slugging forward as if trying to hold off sleep while simultaneously attempting to recognize the face staring back at him. It wouldn’t take before he passed out for a few seconds and when he woke up it was with a heavy gasp. He’s hyperventilating with his eyes shaking and looking around at his surroundings. 

“Where am I?” was the first thing he said, his face still trapped between her palms. His eyes widen when he realizes that he doesn’t know the woman in front of him but she has her hands on his face. “N-no. No. No. No.” Every ‘no’ passes his lips like a panicked breath as he tries to pull away from her. His eyes well with tears that slip passed the round of his cheek to the straight edge of his jaw. “Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Please.” He’s crying now knowing fairly well that his blood was a blue shimmer on her hands and he’d pray to her beliefs that she didn’t have a cut on her fingers. That’s when he notices that unbroken bottle of alcohol further away and he forces himself up off the ground to reach for it. His legs were barely cooperating when he grabbed it and returned to her. He was quick with the way he opened the bottle and forced her palms open. He pours the liquid on her hands and watches as the blue drains from her hands. His head was starting to spin and his stomach was churning. He slumps to his knees with a place of the bottle down beside him before puking over the edge of the roof.

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ofkngs

Nightly Ritual

[ YUKWON ] : OUR PROTAGONIST FINDS HIMSELF BATTERED ON A ROOFTOP.

The stars are bright. 

There’s blood on his hands. The iridescent blue sheen drips off the tips of his fingers as he begins to think:

The stars are bright. 

A breeze blows through the dark waves of his hair to remind him to breathe. The crisp frozen air fills his lungs in a way that sends shivers over the graying overtones of his skin and he thinks:

The stars are bright. 

His eyes once so vibrant in pools of milk chocolate fight for a seat in his irises against the ink that spreads across the veins in his eyes. It threatens to seal away the humanity that clings to the water's surface - emotions welling. His tears mimic his blood and they drip off the edge of his jaw and onto the edge of concrete. Again, he thinks:

The stars are bright. 

Fear. Comfort. Illusion. He yearns for the twinkle of lights among the canvas of a black night. They remind him of her. That girl. Her name sat on the tip of his tongue the way he sat in her apartment so many years ago. Is that her? he wonders. Is that her? Because:

The stars are bright.

Blinding. A memory shifts to the forefront of his mind and he remembers the last time she stared at him. The last time she stood where he stood and he wonders if she thought the same thing. 

The stars are bright. 

It’s been so long. Would she remember him? 

The funny thing about death is that the world becomes brighter. 

The stars.

They’re so bright. 

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slayeoff

As it almost always happens, she finds herself alone. And, as per usual, she finds herself alone because of a mere habit, a whim. It is much too blatant that the confines of her cozy space is something she most definitely yearns for at any given time of the day, but so it happens that today she would've done anything to get home sooner.

By definition, a birthday is supposed to be a joyous moment in one's life. To her, though she had relished the company and the cacophony it brought for a short while, it equated trouble and fatigue. Thus, after having performed the expected role of the birthday girl, displaying many saccharine smiles and bowing down to her knees so often that her back hurt, the woman found the courage to bail, forsaking the scene of the crime.

Thus, she finds herself alone. But yearning a celebration that is hers and hers only. And for that, she has a cure.

Bottle of vodka and glass in one hand and the side of her lengthy dress in the other, Taeyeon stomps her feet almost spitefully against the stairs leading towards the rooftop. Carelessly, she flings the door open and inhales sharply once the chill hits her. It is supposed to be spring.

The dark coat on her shoulders flies with the breeze and tangles with the brightly colored fabric of her gown. Her hair splays on her face in complete disarray.

The black of her eyes follows a trail north and a sigh escapes her lips once they catch sight of the buzzing stars spilled all over the ink of the night. A genuine curl of her lips. Now that's a proper birthday

The stars are bright- seemingly, for her.

And in a matter of seconds, as she focuses her gaze back on the cold glass in her hands, she catches a glimpse of something that doesn't belong in her picture perfect jubilation. The stars fall off the edge of the world and so does the bottle in her hand. While rushing towards the crouched, shriveling figure, Taeyeon barely registers the fact that no breaking sound comes from the glass hitting the concrete.

A huff.

Apparently, the day might end in a lucky undertone. Not taking into account the man in distress on her rooftop, at night.

Without any regard for her safety or social conduct, pushing past dismay and tremor, she closes the distance and cups the man's face into her cold hands.

"A-are you hurt?" Adrenaline speaks for her with an uneven tone.

It's dark outside, but the stars are bright.

It aids her understand. And understand she does, when she feels the dampness between her fingers.

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OOC. I just came around to see who's still around as well, cause I miss writing. So... ?
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He couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. Of course he had caught her off guard , but half of him had been hoping for that reaction. ❛ I am .. ❜ Perhaps he had been hoping to feed from that surprise , but it didn’t seem to last long enough. For a moment he’s silent , wondering what it was about the being that had caught his attention at first.
❛ You seem to be lost in thought .. but you’re in a part of the city where that isn’t the best idea. ❜ He tipped his head slightly to glance behind him , frowning as a small group of teenagers passed. They looked at the pair curiously before disappearing around a corner. ❛ Are you lost by chance ? ❜

Years spent by doing nothing but being surrounded by waves and waves of different personalities and behaviors taught the idol the art of staying grounded and seemingly unbothered by the new. And though she wasn’t at all that social a person, she had a few aces in her sleeve. She definitely knew how to handle less pleasant situations. “I am not...” she began, but her focus suddenly moved towards the possible intruders. A frown downed on her features.

 Taeyeon tended to use the more secluded alleyways whenever she had to go somewhere by foot, due to blatant reasons, but never before did she fear the possible outcomes. Not that she’d show the stranger any remorse, giving him the satisfaction of being right. “I am fine, really. Don’t worry. I can handle this.” came her mellow answer. In all honesty, the woman felt slightly irritated by the man’s patronizing remark and tone of voice, but she wasn’t going to let that slide. Instead, she put on a grateful smile and waved her hands in front of her torso, trying to provide some sort of support for her speech. Naturally, she attempted her best to divert the attention gathered around her as much as possible. And if she could leave the place sooner, all the better.

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(sns.) Mm.. I understand that totally, Unnie. We’re more alike than I really want us to be because you should be happy all the time, really. I guess that will make our meeting more sweet because we’ll miss each other, right?
(sns.) Ah yes. The dreaded quarantine!
(sns.) ㅋㅋㅋ Ah Unnie only says that because we haven’t had a sleepover yet~ I am very very clingy
(sns.) If you ever want to talk.. I’m here, you know? I want to help and you shouldn’t feel like you have to be alone with your up or downs ♥  

(sns.) You are being unreasonable with yourself, bey. We should be happy together, all right? Or at least try. I rely on you to bring me above the floating line,  ㅋㅋ

(sns.) It’s not as dreaded as I expected, to be honest. And it is not as different from my usual life either. It’s just... I don’t work that much anymore, at least not outside my place. And I need to keep myself busy with trivial stuff. 

(sns.)Then we need to make sure to have that as soon as possible, I am just as clingy. Beware!

(sns.) I know I can count on you, but honestly, I have been feeling better and better, in spite of the latest happenings. I guess all I needed was my mother to embrace me and tell me everything will be alright in the end. But thank you a lot, really. You are amazing! And I hope you know I will be here for you no matter what.

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SEASONAL  AESTHETICS !

WINTER.      a chill right down to the bones.    tobogganing.   teeth chattering.    sleeping all day.  sitting by the fireplace.    spending time with family.   layered clothing.    seeing another’s breath.   loving the cold.   a state of inactivity.    cold hands.   blistering winds shaking the closed windows.    a bookcase full of brand new books and all of the time in the world to read them.    cable knit socks.   a bitter remark.    a log cabin in the middle of nowhere.  hating the cold.    full length windows to peer out of.   pale skin.   deep conversations.   watching the snow fall.   sharp  edges.  hot cocoa.   smelling every candle in the store.   a wild snow storm.   melancholy.   lighting candles around the bathtub.   snow globes.   expressing yourself but never finding quite the right words.    the softest of blankets.   liking, but not loving something or someone.

SPRING.     the smell after it rains.  being in control of yourself.  a soft breeze blowing your hair.    lightning when it strikes.    cherry blossoms.   bright mornings.   the first sign of hope.   the relief of finding something you lost.   paris in the spring.    birds chirping.    the art of growing.    a kiss on the cheek.    the clap of thunder.    a tornado in the valley.    smiling at a stranger.    planning.    saccharine pinks.    making promises.    trying something new.    hugs when you need them most.    a bee sting.    sitting on the steps of the met.   coming inside drenched from the thunderstorm.    picnics on a red checkered blanket in the new sun.   that feeling you get when you put on a good dress.    a long hike.    rushing when you can take your time.    going to the gym/training at ungodly hours.    excitement for what’s coming.   becoming yourself.   rain boots.

SUMMER.     lanterns lit around a campfire.   seeing the sunrise like it’s the first time again and again.   melting ice cream.   the warmth of sun rays upon skin.   fireworks.   the feeling of never wanting something to end.    beach days.   the lone blow up floaty left in the pool.     drifting with the warm nights breeze and nothing else.    music blasting at 3am, loud and proud.    palms trees on sunset boulevard.   longer days and shorter nights.    wanderlust.  nights spent staring at the stars.   sand castles.   road trips.    blood orange sunsets.    leaving the laundry to hang outside.    flowers in bloom.    sneaking out of your room late at night.    pure contentment.   barefoot in the sand.  the street lights coming on.    the sound of the ocean in a seashell.   freshly squeezed lemonade.    loose clothing.   a cannonball into the pool.    sunflowers.    the hazy pink before dusk.    relaxation.

FALL.     the leaves changing colors.    a heavy backpack.    the smell of old books.   eating until you’re stuffed.    deep, dark woods.    the silence in loudness.    abandoned houses.    ripped jeans.    crunching leaves beneath feet.    feeling like you’ve been somewhere before.    sitting at a bay window.    having endless amount of work.   charcoal drawings.   screaming into a pillow as loud as you can.    pumpkin patches.    creaky floorboards.    accepting that some things do have to change.    museums.     small talk.    being ignored.    procrastinating.    a door slamming shut.    going to bed early.    baking pies.    the fear of walking alone in the dark.    feeling  completely and terribly lost.    a twig snapping.   crisp, cool days.    belly laughter after crying.    converse.    foggy mornings at the shoreline.    writing a daily entry in a journal.   a lonely day.

tagged by: @sojidot , thanks you! :3

tagging: whoever wants to do this. 

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what is it about names that give people a sense of reality? of firmness in the earth, grounded to a sense of being, of personhood – a name. it’s all he gets. it’s all he wants. anything else would be too much for the solemn night, where he only seeks to redeem himself through the passages and narratives of strangers.
the webs that we weave always ends up with hearts tangled, in the end.
“taeyeon. that’s pretty.” he mumbles, half to himself and half to her. recognization fails to meet him at the halfway point, though he still struggles with the feeling of importance that emanates from her. but wrangles such thoughts back into the cupboard – after all, people are people. no one is ever more important than the other. he believes in this, with his whole heart and whole being.
“hmm…nothin’ too crazy. just some wholesome, drunk times.” sunny is, after all, a child at heart, if nothing else. a passing glance outside tells him it might be best to stay in, for the time-being. “as for a drink….how about a little competition? we can take shot for shot of whatever hard liquor you’d prefer. whoever wins is the – ahh – winner! and all we take home is our pride.”
he decides it’s best to leave it up to her. after all, she might have some sort of image to maintain, dignity in the harsh streets of korean spotlight. comfort is preferable over discomfort, after all, and sunny is no stranger to such a choice. he sends her an encouraging smile, one that lights up his face and his eyes, lips curled into something uniquely cat-like.
“whatever you’re comfortable with.”

It is a matter of habit; her eyes focus tunnel vision fashion, attempting to acquire every sole shift in his overall seemingly careless nature. And she holds her breath, metaphorically, at least, until she considers her identity is no longer in jeopardy. Then, she swallows as though she has previously had her concerns caged between the confines of her throat. Anxiety, there is not denial that it has a way of amplifying every trifle. 

“That? Not me?” she at least tries, wears herself on her sleeves and struggles to bring her own mood to peace. And allows her mouth to curve into a wry line. Lopsided grin, rather melancholic. And by the time the harsh tune of her own voice reaches her ears, she decides to lose the act, that being the understatement and the best option. 

But shot for shot? Turning drinking into a competition? Not that it will be her first time trying that and definitely not the last time losing such sort of game, but the repercussions will surely bring back a flood of flashbacks. And most likely her lunch too. 

For a moment, brushing the unease past, Taeyeon closes her eyes tightly then explodes into a lively grimace, a mix of surprise and disbelief. “I am not sure if I can handle that.” as a natural response, her lips purse over one another in something akin to embarrassment. “But you seem to be very confident in yourself. Is that what you...do? To have fun? Or to push the world behind?” she queries, waiting answers from herself, rather than from the man in front of her.

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(sns.) Tch. Me Sunshine? No, no that’s all you Unnie~ That’s why it’s such a bummer that we couldn’t talk for so long ㅜㅜ Will you put us out of our misery and let’s meet up to take pictures of the cherry blossoms~ I’ve been dying to see them and you being there would be twice the beauty ♥ ♥            
(sns.)But I’ve been alright~ I get to spend tons of time with my boyfriend inside though I have no idea if he’s so happy about that part ㅋㅋㅋ And you~? Are you surviving~?

(sns.) I am solely guilty for than and I am honestly sorry that I have been distancing myself from everyone. I just needed a while for myself... again. But that sounds tempting, I have to admit. Though I am not sure we will be safe doing that. It’s such a bummer indeed, this thing that happens around us, yet I think we deserve that.

(sns.) Nonsense! I bet he is very happy to have the chance to smother you with his love all day.  

(sns.) Surviving? Yeah, I think that is the correct word for what I am doing. I have my ups and downs, but I guess that’s who I am now. Disregarding the past happenings. 

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