@bytalosthiscantbehappening / bytalosthiscantbehappening.tumblr.com
literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro
op managed to swing a bat at 2 hornets nests in one go
If you guys were on here at 11 years old what would you be posting about
Reblog to give prev a magical amulet that protects them from headache
👏🏾Education 👏🏾is 👏🏾a 👏🏾right,👏🏾 not👏🏾 a👏🏾 service 👏🏾
Pass along and use the shit out of them
ok!
JK Rowling has used her billionaire legal team to silence a Jewish woman for telling the truth about her contempt for trans victims of the Holocaust.
Scotland’s network of “freedom of speech” organisations, as per usual, have nothing to say about the use of wealth to gag critics of the wealthy.
However fast they race to condemn the LGBT+ community for saying the names of those who harm us. Statements at the ready to insist that transphobes no one wants to work with anymore must be given every possible opportunity to gain from their bigotry.
But it's not the billionaires who are being silenced, as our media breathlessly echo their every hateful proclamation.
It's journalists and activists forced to publicly humiliate themselves under the weight and the threat of billionaire legal teams or be driven into destitution.
We deserve better. Freedom of speech needs to mean something
The Streisand Effect strikes
This will swiftly become one of the primary things JK Rowling is remembered for. Trying to erase crimes of the Holocaust against trans people and then silencing Jewish journalists for calling her out.
With your help we can make sure JK Rowling is known as a Holocaust denier first, author of mediocre children's books second
disco elysium is kafkas metamorphosis for the modern age. no one is scared of becoming a bug anymore. the true nightmare? waking up one day and finding out your a cop
Bowser joins the team!
Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.
The galactic council watched on to see how humanity would handle the task, much as they had with several species before. What the test was supposed to show was whether or not a species of violent nature could ever be brought to work together. They finally picked something up, another ship already headed to Mars? Was it possible humans were that clever to have found the key, maybe it was more specialists and equipment to analyze the locked crate to ensure it was safe to open. A few minutes after landing, they got another broadcast from the red planet.
“This is the LockPickingLawyer and today I’ve got something quite special, this locked alien chest. First of all I have to thank everyone who recommended me for the job, I’m honored that you all thought of me. Now let’s get to work”
The council representatives were confused as they started analyzing the translation, before even getting through the name he spoke something haunting
“Normally I don’t say things like this but this lock is quite unique, however with no security pins it will still be quite quick.”
“There we go, a click on 3… “
All the species of the galactic council sat dumbfounded, they spent many galactic cycles refining and perfecting their study and in all their time not a singular race had tried this method. Click after click, even in such an intricate lock the human had only spent around five minutes tampering with it.
“There we go, now while I can’t open this as part of my video I can say that I at least have a clue what the key should look like in case it ever gets locked again. I admire the design choices and the fact that at least it was harder to get open than anything Master Lock has made”
we are the “oh, I know a guy” teamwork species
[Image description: a screenshot of tumblr tags reading
#tumblr fiction # THAT’S THE THING THO #humans are a team effort species #but we’re a team effort species THROUGH individual specialized roles! #you don’t all try to go hunt the elephant! #you have a handful of dudes who are experts in hunting elephant! #and they do it!]
We are the “oh I know a guy!” teamwork species!
That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out how to say about adulting. Adulting isn’t about knowing how to handle every situation. Adulting is about knowing who knows how to handle any given situation, and how to contact them. No one knows all the things; the adultiest of adults still has places where they don’t have a damn clue — they just call another person who’s adultier in that area than they are.
You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).
Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.
Gay people: I’m Gay
Society: ok
Epic Char burger car edit:
so many people do not understand that 1) animals are not people, and 2) they aren't teaching their animals what they THINK they are teaching them.
dog group on the book of faces, someone is asking for advice on how to get their dog to come to them after the dog is done relieving itself outside. The dog doesn't like coming to them an they spend ten or twenty minutes or more catching the dog each time to bring it in. Which reminded me of one of many attempts to talk a person through trying to fix exactly this same behavior in *many* other dogs over the years...
Me: So, a quick question for you... does the dog not coming to you and you having to chase them down frustrate you?
Them: Of course!
Me: So what do you do when you finally either catch the dog or get them to come to you?
Them: I give the dog a correction!
Me: So. You get hands on your dog and then you immediately punish them for allowing you to get hands on them. And you wonder why your dog has developed the habit of not coming to you?
Them: No, that's not... I'm punishing them for not coming when I call!
Me: Which was.... fifteen minutes ago, or so, you said?
Them: Yes, when I first called them!
Me: Dogs brains literally cannot link an abstract thought like that. A thought and a consequence MUST happen within 2.4 seconds of one another, or the consequence becomes linked to the most recent behavior, thought, or activity. So, tell me... how is your dog supposed to understand that you punishing them is for the event fifteen minutes ago when you have made such a concerted, if unintentional, effort to teach them that them getting close enough for you to lay hands on them in the yard means an immediate punishment?
Them: But that's not what I *meant*!
Me: Doesn't matter what YOU meant... what THEY learned is that they come to you, and they get punished. Stop punishing your dog for the behavior that you want to see more of.
Stop anthropomorphizing your animals, folks. They don't think like us. Stop setting them - and yourself - up for failure.
I was thinking "nah, why would they? not the right vibe" and was going to just assume the answer was no, but...
...I was very surprised to learn that in fact, they did. (close by, that is)
All this about not getting to see John Lennon on twitter but I think the real tragedy is that Freddie Mercury never had an instagram
IMPORTANT REMINDER TO MY EUROPEAN FOLLOWERS AND OTHER TUMBLR DENIZENS FROM AN AMERICAN DESERT-DWELLER:
Climate change is a bitch and summer is coming. If you don’t already have an air conditioner and/or fans, NOW is the time to get them.
THINGS YOU SHOULD BE SHOPPING FOR NOW:
—clothes made of cotton or linen
—air conditioner
—fans
—frozen meals that can be cooked in the microwave
—potable bottled water; you want five days’ worth per person and pet in your household
—bottled fruit juices; it does not matter if these are sugar-added because you’ll want the electrolytes
—electrolyte drinks
—electrolyte pills (you can get these online, I get mine from Amazon)
—popsicle molds to use with fruit and juice
—ice cube trays
—nonperishable salty snacks like peanuts
—one charger brick per adult in case of rolling blackouts or power outages; charge these at the beginning of May, and drain them via use once a month if they’re not needed
YOUR TO-DO LIST:
—check your home’s HVAC system if you didn’t do it at the beginning of winter. Make sure all the filters are clean and replace them if needed
—check the seals on your sinks and bathtub in case you have to run water to handle shortages
—make and freeze meals you can cook in the microwave or simply defrost. Remember to select light summer fare, not hearty winter soups and gravies
—purchase and freeze lunch meats and cheeses you can defrost and use this summer for sandwiches when it’s hot
—assemble your check-in list: elderly, pregnant, disabled, and immunocompromised friends and relatives who may struggle to get things they need when the heat wave hits. Have this list posted and ready to go through daily once the heat gets high. DON’T JUST ASSUME YOU WILL REMEMBER. WRITE IT ALL DOWN.
—create a list of emergency contacts in case of fire, heat stroke, and other heat-related emergencies. This should include your local version of 911 (I think in most of Europe it’s 112, but don’t rely on me as an American, LOOK IT UP NOW before you need it), your doctor’s phone number, and two emergency contacts. Keep it in a place where it can be easily found if someone needs to make these calls on your behalf.
—ask your doctor for an additional prescription for any medications you take, and fill it now. Extreme heat can cause disruptions in the supply chain. Make sure you cycle these meds; that’s to say, always use your oldest bottle first so you don’t end up with expired meds in an emergency.
—stock your first-aid kit. If you don’t have one, now is a good time to make one.
—if you own a car, get your yearly maintenance done now. You don’t want to be dealing with an inoperable vehicle if you need to evacuate.
Staying safe this summer starts now. Get your prep done.
Someone in the notes tagged this as yet another sign of Tumblr’s aging user base, and while this is kind of true (I’m 35), if you are a European minor I ENCOURAGE YOU STRONGLY TO SHARE THIS POST WITH YOUR ADULTS. If these are not things you can do yourself—I don’t expect a 15-year-old to know how to check the HVAC filters, for example, although if you’re old enough to be on Tumblr you’re definitely old enough to learn how to do it—enlist those around you who can.
This isn’t just a post for the adults. It’s for teenagers to use to educate their families and those around them, as well. I want ALL of you safe in July. (And yes, as we get a bit closer to the summer months I’ll make another post detailing how to utilize the items I’ve told you to purchase now.)
Re: the "stock up on medicines" part - MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A COOL PLACE TO STORE YOUR MEDICATION. This is important year round but ESPECIALLY during a heat wave. Most pills aren't meant to be stored above 25 degrees Celsius; prolonged exposure to temperatures above that means they can start to break down, and become less effective or even toxic!
Find a space in your apartment that doesn't get above that temperature even during hot days. Alternatively, check with your pharmacist if your particular medicine is safe to store in the fridge, or with a freeze pack - it's not a *great* idea because of the damp, but it could work for pills in foil packets, for a limited amount of time. As an absolute minimum don't put your meds anywhere where they can be exposed to direct sunlight.
