Geezlaweasel

Enjoy this corny ass joke 😭🥹

Timmy your boyfriend has a soft serve chocolate ice cream cone for hair and you're going to judge Dexters bf??

Remember to recycle your waste, kids!♻️

Mandark why are you lying? We know you love Dexter’s….

Modified hydrogen peroxide : )

Idk what you're talking about, that word is clearly GUM.

Mandark would take gum right out of Dexter's mouth you can’t convince me otherwise.

Gum ;)

***

It all started with the wrench.

"I want my wrench back, Mandark." Dexter says over their ComsLink. He's in the lab, and Mandark's out on patrol, helping to deal with another wave of fusion monsters.

"What's that - kkcch - can't hear you - kcchh - signal - breaking - sksks - up!" 

"Mandark, I can see you on the security cam." Dexter says, turning to the computer monitor in front of him. "You're literally rubbing tinfoil on your microphone."

As soon as he says that, he can see Mandark drop the tinfoil into the ground in a puddle of fusion matter. 

"And now you're littering!" Dexter points at the screen, then realizes that he's not actually there to see him point, and puts it down with a slight blush.

"Littering is only a problem if everyone does it." 

"Where's my wrench, Mandark?"

"Uhhh,” Mandark looks up at the security camera nervously. “I'll give it back later."

"When's later?"

"Sometime between now and forever."

"That's not helpful."

This time his reply is actually cut short by a roar. He sees monitor-Mandark swivel his head to look at something off screen.

"Shoot, okay they actually need me now. Later!!" 

Then he's off in a flash of red light.  

Sighing, Dexter switches off the feed and starts looking.

He knows he shouldn't, but he searches through "Mandark's" desk. (In truth, it's still dexlabs property, but Mandark took it over and it wasn’t worth the trouble). 

He finds the following: 

The rest of the drawer is a mess of electronic gizmos and gadgets, spare screws and the like. There’s also a bright yellow packet of Juicy Fruit gum nestled in the corner. 

Even though his wrench is still nowhere to be found, he tidies the rest of the desk in a neat, orderly fashion- stacking the post it notes, hooking the paperclips into a chain, and lining up the pens by color (after taking his pens back of course!) But because he’s still feeling salty, he takes the last stick of gum and leaves a doodle of Mandark with a turd for good measure. 

Later that night, when Mandark returns, Dexter asks him again for his wrench. 

“I’m still using it.” Mandark says, as he plops down at his desk and boots up his laptop. “You have a whole laboratory here, just use a spare.” 

“I want that one,” Dexter replies back stubbornly. 

Mandark rolls his eyes. “Y’know, for a guy who’s supposed to be a genius, you’re way too sentimental.”

“Says the guy who still wears his bumblebee tie from when he was 10.”

“That’s fashionable! It’s vintage!” Mandark replies, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, we have more important calculations we need to- hey.”

Mandark’s rifling through his drawer when he stops. 

"Were you in my desk??" Mandark asks, yanking open the drawer further. “HEY!”

Dexter unwraps the Juicy Fruit, making sure to throw away the silver wrapper. "Maybe." 

"Everything's completely disorganized." The other genius starts reshuffling things around. “Where are all my pens?”

“You mean my pens?” Dexter says, popping the bubblegum into his mouth and chewing as loudly as possible.

The other looks up at the sound. "...You took my gum!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dexter leans back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table and his hands behind his head. 

He proceeds to stare Mandark directly in the eyes as he blows the largest bubble he's ever blown in his life. It expands with every puff of air he feeds it, until it overtakes his vision.

Through the translucent pink sphere, he sees the blurry figure of Mandark marching over to him from across the laboratory. 

He pops the bubble before Mandark can, quickly winding up the wad of chewing gum back into his mouth with a smirk.

Mandark slams a hand on the wall behind him. "That's MINE, Dexter."

Dexter looks up at him and grins, "Oh don't worry, I’m only borrowing it.” It’s gross, but he makes a point of chewing with his mouth open so that Mandark can hear every smack. “...You see, unlike SOME people I always give back the things I borrow."

He opens his mouth, puts the wad of slimy Juicy Fruit on display. "Here, you want it back?" 

He expects Mandark to scream at him some more.

What he does not expect is for Mandark to take him up on his offer, lunging forward and smashing their lips together like two protons in a hadron collider. His tongue slips in, and it’s not unlike an eel, electrifying him with his touch and sending shockwaves down his spine. 

They commence what Dexter can only best describe as a sort of gum-hockey match, as Mandark tries in vain to carry away his prize only for Dexter to wrestle it back from him.    

The gum nearly rolls down his throat, and Dexter makes a choked noise and tilts his head forward, which only has the effect of deepening their kiss. His lips are searing hot and he’s still attacking him relentlessly, as though he’s trying to suck half his face off in his quest for the pilfered gum. 

Dexter gropes around his chest until he finds his tie and closes his fist around it, wrinkling the fabric. (Mandark’s too damn tall for his own good, it isn’t fair for him to be standing while Dexter’s sitting down). He yanks him down; Mandark retaliates by tangling his hand in his curls and doing the same. He catches a glimpse of Mandark’s ardent gaze before their glasses click again and fog with the condensation of their heat. 

At some point, the gum disappears. Dexter doesn’t know, doesn’t care where. All he perceives is the universe that has narrowed to this single focal point. His heart pounds hard and desperate, his head spins from lack of oxygen; yet kissing Mandark is like coming up for air. 

Suddenly the chair dips backward, unable to take both of their weights. They tumble onto the floor, chests heaving as they catch their breath. 

“...What happened to the gum?”

“I swallowed it. >:] ” 

Remember to recycle your waste, kids!♻️

Mandark why are you lying? We know you love Dexter’s….

Modified hydrogen peroxide : )

Idk what you're talking about, that word is clearly GUM.

Mandark would take gum right out of Dexter's mouth you can’t convince me otherwise.

Gum ;)

***

It all started with the wrench.

"I want my wrench back, Mandark." Dexter says over their ComsLink. He's in the lab, and Mandark's out on patrol, helping to deal with another wave of fusion monsters.

"What's that - kkcch - can't hear you - kcchh - signal - breaking - sksks - up!" 

"Mandark, I can see you on the security cam." Dexter says, turning to the computer monitor in front of him. "You're literally rubbing tinfoil on your microphone."

As soon as he says that, he can see Mandark drop the tinfoil into the ground in a puddle of fusion matter. 

"And now you're littering!" Dexter points at the screen, then realizes that he's not actually there to see him point, and puts it down with a slight blush.

"Littering is only a problem if everyone does it." 

"Where's my wrench, Mandark?"

"Uhhh,” Mandark looks up at the security camera nervously. “I'll give it back later."

"When's later?"

"Sometime between now and forever."

"That's not helpful."

This time his reply is actually cut short by a roar. He sees monitor-Mandark swivel his head to look at something off screen.

"Shoot, okay they actually need me now. Later!!" 

Then he's off in a flash of red light.  

Sighing, Dexter switches off the feed and starts looking.

He knows he shouldn't, but he searches through "Mandark's" desk. (In truth, it's still dexlabs property, but Mandark took it over and it wasn’t worth the trouble). 

He finds the following: 

The rest of the drawer is a mess of electronic gizmos and gadgets, spare screws and the like. There’s also a bright yellow packet of Juicy Fruit gum nestled in the corner. 

Even though his wrench is still nowhere to be found, he tidies the rest of the desk in a neat, orderly fashion- stacking the post it notes, hooking the paperclips into a chain, and lining up the pens by color (after taking his pens back of course!) But because he’s still feeling salty, he takes the last stick of gum and leaves a doodle of Mandark with a turd for good measure. 

Later that night, when Mandark returns, Dexter asks him again for his wrench. 

“I’m still using it.” Mandark says, as he plops down at his desk and boots up his laptop. “You have a whole laboratory here, just use a spare.” 

“I want that one,” Dexter replies back stubbornly. 

Mandark rolls his eyes. “Y’know, for a guy who’s supposed to be a genius, you’re way too sentimental.”

“Says the guy who still wears his bumblebee tie from when he was 10.”

“That’s fashionable! It’s vintage!” Mandark replies, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, we have more important calculations we need to- hey.”

Mandark’s rifling through his drawer when he stops. 

"Were you in my desk??" Mandark asks, yanking open the drawer further. “HEY!”

Dexter unwraps the Juicy Fruit, making sure to throw away the silver wrapper. "Maybe." 

"Everything's completely disorganized." The other genius starts reshuffling things around. “Where are all my pens?”

“You mean my pens?” Dexter says, popping the bubblegum into his mouth and chewing as loudly as possible.

The other looks up at the sound. "...You took my gum!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dexter leans back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table and his hands behind his head. 

He proceeds to stare Mandark directly in the eyes as he blows the largest bubble he's ever blown in his life. It expands with every puff of air he feeds it, until it overtakes his vision.

Through the translucent pink sphere, he sees the blurry figure of Mandark marching over to him from across the laboratory. 

He pops the bubble before Mandark can, quickly winding up the wad of chewing gum back into his mouth with a smirk.

Mandark slams a hand on the wall behind him. "That's MINE, Dexter."

Dexter looks up at him and grins, "Oh don't worry, I’m only borrowing it.” It’s gross, but he makes a point of chewing with his mouth open so that Mandark can hear every smack. “...You see, unlike SOME people I always give back the things I borrow."

He opens his mouth, puts the wad of slimy Juicy Fruit on display. "Here, you want it back?" 

He expects Mandark to scream at him some more.

What he does not expect is for Mandark to take him up on his offer, lunging forward and smashing their lips together like two protons in a hadron collider. His tongue slips in, and it’s not unlike an eel, electrifying him with his touch and sending shockwaves down his spine. 

They commence what Dexter can only best describe as a sort of reverse-soccer match, as Mandark tries in vain to carry away his prize only for Dexter to wrestle it back from him.   

The gum nearly rolls down his throat, and Dexter makes a choked noise and tilts his head forward, which only has the effect of deepening their kiss. His lips are searing hot and he’s still attacking him relentlessly, as though he’s trying to suck half his face off in his quest for the pilfered gum. 

Dexter gropes around his chest until he finds his tie and closes his fist around it, wrinkling the fabric. (Mandark’s too damn tall for his own good, it isn’t fair for him to be standing while Dexter’s sitting down). He yanks him down; Mandark retaliates by tangling his hand in his curls and doing the same. He catches a glimpse of Mandark’s ardent gaze before their glasses click again and fog with the condensation of their heat. 

At some point, the gum disappears. Dexter doesn’t know, doesn’t care where. All he perceives is the universe that has narrowed to this single focal point. His heart pounds hard and desperate, his head spins from lack of oxygen; yet kissing Mandark is like coming up for air. 

Suddenly the chair dips backward, unable to take both of their weights. They tumble onto the floor, chests heaving as they catch their breath. 

“...What happened to the gum?”

“I swallowed it. >:] ” 

Remember to recycle your waste, kids!♻️

Mandark why are you lying? We know you love Dexter’s….

Modified hydrogen peroxide : )

Idk what you're talking about, that word is clearly GUM.

Mandark would take gum right out of Dexter's mouth you can’t convince me otherwise.

Remember to recycle your waste, kids!♻️

Mandark why are you lying? We know you love Dexter’s….

Modified hydrogen peroxide : )

I absolutely love to think that he's entirely bullshitting about being able to read minds (since you know, it never comes up again and there's no proof.)

Dex years later: so like, what happened to you being able to read minds??

Dark: what

Dex: when we met that day in class. you told me that you could read minds

Dark: …..

Wait did you believe that

Dex: …

Dark: oh my God have you believed that this entire time

Dex: ……

Dark: I was like 10 years old and I was making shit up to fuck with you

Hello! I offer these screenshots ~ (you don't gotta do them all. I just couldn't pick)

This is canon

SJSHISHEINIWJIWJWWOKQPQ 💙💙💙 Omg I love it so much!!

I love that you saw a story in the screenshots xD AND IT’S SO IN CHARACTER

The blushing person whose going to write a fanfic is me. Or one of my friends if I'm convincing enough > : 3c

A Dexter + Mandark commission for @flukesandspooks! I made this for them last year and I really liked how it turned out, but I was too shy to share :’D 

The original sketch below the cut:

Keep reading

the mane 5!! crayola crayons & procreate :)

tonight was a scary dog kind of night

Endure, devour

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

She makes a mean whisker sour

Does she have anything non alcoholic?

Just putting all these pics together in one post

And, because this series wasn't cheesy enough:

Jack Black photographed by Martin Schoeller 

ONCE AGAIN. DIONYSUS.

everything about this image is amazing. the discarded clothes. his hair in curlers. the orchid. the scope. the wiener dog. the single exposed nipple.

A red fox makes its way through the Bohemian Forest in the Czech Republic.

Vladimir Cech