nooo tbe cigarete got gender dyspjoria :(((((((

this is absolutely incredible, thank you for sharing

Please don’t kill

im starting a collection

this is my magnum opus

SALVATION

DAMNATION

This whole fucking post is a rollercoaster

This is the ONLY valid way to play open world games.

Honestly this is fucking brilliant because you can put hot drinks in this cup and since it has a handle you won’t burn your hand drinking it

Hi pay attention to me I’m so cute and impregnable

OP is a tank trying to draw aggro

aw fuck i activated stinky keys

🅱oly fuck gamers

okay here’s the thing about recruiting kecleon

it’s possible, but just barely. they have a -49.5% recruitment rate, by far the lowest in the entire game. you can boost your recruitment odds in a number of ways. being level 90-100 gives you +25%, and holding the golden mask gives you +24%.

but wait, that still adds up to -0.5% recruitment for kecleon, which is still literally impossible!! well, the Fast Friend iq skill gives you an extra +1% to your rate, giving you a whopping 0.5% chance to recruit kecleon every time you defeat one, given you meet all these requirements. it’s why i’m using celebi here.

more things you absolutely need to do if you want to recruit one:

resetting will probably happen a lot but with preparation and patience you’ll get your kec eventually. there’s my handy hell lizard recruitment guide

the answer to that is a surprising “yes”, its IQ is reset to 0 (like all recruited pokemon) but its stats are ridiculous

the base stats in this game cap at 255 (because they’re counted by signed 8-bit binary) and it was one point off from hitting that cap when i recruited it. its hp is also ridiculously high at 282 despite only being level 42

so this makes it without any contest the single strongest pokemon you can have on your team in this game, stronger than mewtwo, stronger than dialga, everything. keep in mind you have to fight dozens of these at once to get one.

another thing: most pokemon have a small pool of phrases determined by their IQ group, but kecleon seems to have unique dialogue when you talk to it in and out of dungeons. 

strange but cool detail to include for something that’s nearly impossible to get in the first place

not my whoville ass eating roast beast

@markiplier

this isn’t about him