❝ Oh, you’re angry are you? Well join the party! I’ve been here 1,000 years. I was building that dagger to protect myself against you, Nik. I’m not the bad guy in this chapter of our family’s story. I’M THE WRONGED. I’M THE DEAD, BUT NEVER MOURNED. And whilst you got everything you ever wanted, I got a family who didn’t care if I lived or if I died. ❞
❝HERE. HERE IS ME. my bloodied fingernails ; my bruised heart of steel ; my cracked lips && sunken eyes && scarred wrists. here. here is me. WILL YOU TAKE ME?❞
it’s been like 4000 years since i’ve been on this account
Other than the constant travelling, they had plenty of time to rest. They agreed to make going ghost their first priority, and that means no strings left behind. Cosmo and Brett were both trained adults, despite still young and learning, and they could handle themselves in case of running into imperial troops. The younglings, however, are their major concern. They all changed their outfits, their jedi robes disposed of properly, and their sabers wrapped up and stored in hidden quarters of their bags.
In a matter of three days, they have crossed half the galaxy. Their desperate escape never provided enough security, and Brett’s paranoia only grew with every other day he was forbid to connect with the force.
Even at night, he cannot sleep. He used to let his mind wander in dreams, welcoming all sorts of visions and thoughts, yet knowing the emperor will not rest until all jedi fall has left Brett on edge. What if someone reaches out to the younglings and finds them? What if they wake up to an ambush? Laying in bed restlessly, Brett decides he will make good use of his time and stand guard instead.
They should be thankful for having this starship with them. Without a vehicle, there is no way Brett and Cosmo can herd a group of young children with them while escaping massacre. Cosmo is the one with plans. Brett has nothing but aimless hope.
He sits in the cockpit, staring outside the plexiglass. A hand comes up to his collar and fingers fish out a small pendant from underneath his shirt. The small piece is wood fused with blue crystal, something crafted with spectacular skill. The touch seems to comfort Brett nothing else can.
Over night Cosmo came up with at least part of a plan for how they could help the Initiates adjust, stripping them of their connection to the force would be impossible but helping them find ways to channel their connection without drawing on the force was another thing entirely. Dustin he placed as Navigator, studying star maps and galaxy clusters, to memorize and research the routes between worlds as best that he could something that Dustin seemed more than happy to do considering his obsession with exploration and space. Will’s interests tended to bounce from one skill to the next but Cosmo had him focus on security and computer slicing, both valuable skills to have, or at least Cosmo thought so and Mike, whilst showing a talent as a jack of all trades, he set up in the cargo hold with whatever scrap and junk that he had collected to see if he could repair or create something usable. Cosmo had Lucas pegged down as Jedi Guardian in the making and pointed him towards Brett to learn more of soresu fighting style only instead of lightsabers, the pair would use vibroblades.
Out of the kids, it was Jane whom had the strongest connection to the force. Something that Cosmo was more than certain would be what tripped them up later and Mike seemed to be the only one who could really help her calm down when her emotions got the better of her. Overall, the tasks were more distractions than anything else, Cosmo’s rather transparent attempt to keep them occupied while he tried to steer them into some semblance of safety but it was difficult. Every day it felt as if they were drawing closer and closer to the jaws of the Sith.
Cosmo searched for Brett within the small starship, sooner or later they would need to find a bigger ship but for now it suited their purposes. To outrun whatever pursuers they could have. Finding Brett in the cockpit, Cosmo stilled for a moment as he watched Brett fish out his pendant. Jedi weren’t allowed personal items but Cosmo recognized the pendant instantly. He had one that was almost completely similar except for the shade of the crystal embedded into the wood and Cosmo wrapped his knuckles against the wall panel to alert Brett of his presence.
“I always worried about wearing a hole into mine,” Cosmo said, “just from how much I used to fidget with it.”
He moved around the cockpit, finding himself a spot in the pilot’s chair but showing no interest to their destination just yet. The kids were quiet, whatever they were doing they were absorbed in it enough that for now, he and Brett were alone again though Brett still looked troubled and twitchy. “Did you get any sleep at all?”
Brett had never been a good Padawan, even Master Plo saw his softness under his attempts to be the opposite. For many years, Master Plo was like a father to him, and the Wolf Pack like brothers. They may be clones but they still have a heart just like everybody else. Even now, even after witnessing their betrayal, Brett still cannot shake the doubt from his mind.
His fists clench tightly and his eyes flutter shut. He doesn’t want to start crying again. “It’s not your fault,” he manages eventually, sounding incredibly tired and worn. For a moment, his mind swims back in time and he can see Master Plo’s face. He can see him smiling despite the apparatus covering half his face. It was in his voice.
When he opens his eyes again, the rush of emotion is gone. Somewhere deep inside his chest is a small room, and he has made space inside to store his overwhelming grief behind a locked door. “We were on a mission. He was on his Delta-7. The others…” The Wolfpack. “I was behind them all. As soon as I received your message, I tried to tell him.”
He looks at Cosmo, bottom lip trembling as his mind trips over what happened. “–But I had no time. I had to go, or else they would’ve shot me down too.”
They had all lost people before. The war did that, people died, killed or poisoned or blown out of the sky but the bond between a Jedi Master and their Padawan was different, and loosing that bond so suddenly, Cosmo couldn’t understand how Brett was managing to hold himself together. He had never experienced that kind of connection with a Master, or with anyone, as he understood it, the bond wasn’t just sacred or even a bond at all. It was more profound than that, the force literally tethered them to each other and now, Plo was gone and Brett was here, with him. Betrayed by his team and left stranded.
Cosmo reached for Brett’s hand when he watched his lower lip tremble, his fingers curling tightly around Brett’s, hoping to provide some kind of comfort or stability. “You did what you could.” he said, voice harder than it had been, he couldn’t tell him that it would get better, that they would figure something out where everyone was happy and safe, but he could at least show him that he wasn’t alone or to blame for his Master’s death. “You got those kids out of the temple, that’s not nothing. Master Plo would be proud of you.”
If they focused on their small victories maybe they would make it without their anger or grief or pain taking root inside of them. Cosmo figured he had an easier time than Brett, despite the other’s Jedi training, he knew that he still felt deeply. He let go of Brett’s hand and straightened where he sat.
“We’ve got a couple of hours. We should try to get some rest. I’ve got a feeling that we’re gonna need all of our energy.
The Chainsmokers - Dont Let Me Down (ILLENIUM REMIX)
Love Never Felt So Good - Michael Jackson feat. Justin Timberlake
I am also a we.
Sometimes, you’re forcefully reminded that they are, in fact, brothers.
That slam me down on the bed type shit, that grind on me and make me beg type shit.
Lady Beatrice Sharpe was murdered in the bathtub. One brutal blow, almost split her head in two. No suspect was ever arrested.
Crimson Peak (2015) dir. Guillermo del Toro
