getting gender envy from all my blorbos

artbulls

less than a month to go boys

will: time sensitive question how flirt boy. el: throw rocks at he. lucas: hot dogs. max: kill him. will: thanks guys.

will: it’s called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. el, eyes wide: i know what i saw.

steve: have you heard of murphy’s law? the one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong? jonathan: yeah, i have. steve: have you heard of cole’s law? jonathan: is this a joke about coleslaw? steve: …maybe.

dustin: don’t mansplain this to me! max: wh- i’m not a man! i can’t mansplain anything to you! dustin: …well, i’m a feminist, and i believe a woman can do anything a man does!

will, at the slightest provocation: i came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else’s blood and and i’m not afraid to leave the same way.

dustin: happy birthday lucas! i hope this will BEE the best birthday ever

lucas,holding present at arms length: did you guys get me bees

max: of course not! i just hope this present gives you a BUZZ

lucas, putting gift down and backing away: you got me bees

stan: you passed out. do you remember anything?

eddie: only the ambulance ride to the hospital

bill: that wasn’t an ambulance, i drove you

eddie: but i heard a siren

stan: that was richie

richie: sorry, i got nervous

richie: must be hard not being able to laugh

eddie: i do have a sense of humor y’know

richie: i’ve never heard you laugh before

eddie: i’ve never heard you say anything funny

richie: you know what i’ve never understood? genies! they tell you to wish for whatever you want and then they add some terrible twist. like, you wish to jump high? he turns you into a frog. what? why? who gains from this? the genie? what’s the benefit? you should be fighting genies, man, not me. i’m not the problem. genies. genies are the problem.

richie: just got kicked out of church cause i yelled “fuck the devil” what the fuck? i thought we hated this dude

robber: alright, hands in the air. no funny business

eddie, whispering to richie: please don’t do it. i’m begging you.

richie, immediately as loud as possible: kinda smells like updog in here!

richie: if you live to be 70 years old, you’ll live TEN YEARS of your life on monday

eddie: its literally 3 am, richie, please go to sleep

eddie:

eddie: wait-

richie; oh my god, eddie really stretched me to my limits last night. i can’t sit properly anymore

stan:

eddie: richie, you did like 12 squats

richie: and i hate you for it!!

richie: why don’t humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees here lets leave immediately.” why are elephants more advanced than us?

eddie: we do have a specific noise. it sounds like this. “there are bees here lets leave immediately.”