Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust

Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily

Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?

Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.

Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?

Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that

Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.

Me: I uh. Did not let go.

You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships

People on tumblr will just say anything huh.

Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.

Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?

This website is free

We pay in other ways.

Dormir

So I am sitting here playing solitaire on the Linkin Park website, and the computer LOST THE FOUR OF CLUBS! It literally is missing a card!

There is nowhere it could be hiding! The four of clubs is just not there!

“WHY ARE YOU PLAYING SOLITAIRE ON THE LINKIN PARK WEBSITE?”

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

Bleach Official Art

twitter does tumblr sexyman polls -> tumblr agonises over this because we can't do polls -> tumblr adds polls -> both sites go crazy with fandom polls -> twitter announces it's locking polls behind paid membership -> "2024, The Year of Tumblr"

aoba attached to prevent breaching

Just curious but how was generic cute blue anime character holding a cute fluffy animal going to prevent the post about blue websites often turned into anime characters from breaching? They fit right in that's mr tumblr herself and it's her year celebrating with a fluffy beast.

that blue-haired anime boy's a powerful weapon from another time

you might not believe what I'm about to tell you but

you know, I've been thinking, after this trail of carnage, I might just hang my sword up. just gotta slay these last few villains and I'll have evil solved, and there will be a place for me in this peaceful world I've created. with the sword.

abandoned space elevator

Accurate recreation of me when I said "Oh wow thats a pretty picture I wonder where they took it at" and then scrolled down to see the tag #pixel art

trips. these fall out of my pocket

It’s an old tradition that during a leap year women could propose to men. This was usually depicted as old or ugly women trapping men, but some art focused more on the role reversal and could be quite cute.

I have a soft spot in my heart for the last one because it plays on the idea of “undesirable” people, a tall masculine woman and a shy effeminate man, finding each other but instead of mocking them depicts it as sweet that she could finally ask him because he was too shy and insecure to ask her.

Turns out the story of the last picture continues. Apparently the guy’s father isn’t convinced the woman can provide for his son.

Also, I found some more cute ones

This might be my favorite submission so far

that scene where a sexy lady at a fancy party pulls out a cigarette and a bunch of men swarm to light it but it’s me at the lesbian biker bar and i need something with a sharp edge so i can shotgun my rolling rock and a half dozen beautiful dukes surround me to offer their six inch stone handle folding knives

*DYKES

“no one is born in this world to be alone!”

pour one out for the 12 people and 214 lab-grown homunculi that actually used the tumblr live feature