#i can’t even deal with this #what is this #matthew you and your tongue got some explaning to do!

• “bro, you look so cute right now. dude, you are so fucking adorable.”
• “wanna watch this murder documentary with me?”
• “i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there’s a 900% chance i’ll cry.”
• “i may act like I’m clueless but actually know what’s going on at al times.”
• “attention: i need attention.”
• “i don’t have a nervous system. i’m a nervous system.”
• “drugs? no thanks, the only ‘high’ i need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder.”
• “i think i’m subconsciously trying to ruin my own life.”
• “why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?”
• “i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole.”
• “i don’t want to look 'pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.”
• “i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know.”
• “girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. i don’t remember what i was going to say but i’m just gay.“
• "i’d love to relax but that’s just not realistic.”
• “contrary to popular belief i’m actually soft and have feelings.”
• “this could be less hetero.”
• “to be honest i just need a hug.”
• “why can’t I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?”
• “this is it, this is how i die: lack of attention.”
• “are we just friends or is this flirting serious?”
• “i have this problem where i isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because i’m lonely.”
• “i may be ugly but at least i have an ugly personality too. consistency is key.”
• “i don’t wanna get involved in drama i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened.”
• “i am bysexual as in i’m not interested, goodbye.”
• “i could win an olympic gold medal in being ignored.”
• “fill your heart with bees. if someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees.”
• “i’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.”
• “i panic a lot of other places besides the disco.”
• “which layer of hell do you think you’re going to?”
• “my kink is being right.”
• “my kink is being home alone.”
• “you’re really sensitive for a selfish asshole.”
• “i can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, i have a big heart and can’t treat people badly, that’s just not me.”
• “what about netflix and kill?”
• “no offense but why does everyone hate me?”
• “i’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need no social life.”
• “why do i get struggles instead of snuggles?”
• “if a conversation goes on too long without being about me, i’m out.”
• “i’m small, queer and something to fear.”
• “all this sadness is bad for my skin.”
• “i’m cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive”
• “i’m beautiful and underappreciated.”
• “she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s me.”
• “sorry for being awesome, loser.”
• “is 'no’ an emotion? because i’m feeling it.”